Please help me keep going... update post #54

[xoxoproverbs31]

Girl I know how you feel! I was determined to EBF for multiple reasons and ended up almost every feeding in years because of latch issues or over let down and baby would wail or because of pain. I felt so alone but was encouraged that my body was made to do this and was best for my baby AND my body and wasn't willing to give up just yet. I never took a support class, although that probably would have been wonderful and I should have! My husband actually was a huge supporter for me and rooted me on the continue. He had to speak encouraging words over me almost daily but I was also a new mom and had no idea what I was doing wrong even though I had talked to friends and had tons of BFing books and had studied all the positions.

Don't give up just yet momma! Looking back now at my 2.5yo little boy and the close bond we have, I am so blessed and thankful that I didn't give up the multiple times I wanted too.

I would definitely join a class...check out baby boutiques around you area and also get on the website KellyMom. I was referred there by an acquaintance and it has been such a huge informational outlet for every question and concern I've had regarding BFing.

Hang in there! You're walking where millions of mommas have been before and have made it through!

[evasimone]

So another update, I got a medela symphony this morning and I am pumping every two hours. Perhaps the best update is that I called my midwife and let her know what was happening. She had me come over immediately and agreed that my little one did have a mild tongue tie. She is a CNM and CNP and said she will clip her frenulum. She looked at my nipples and agreed that they needed to heal so we are postponing the procedure for a week to ten days so we can put her back on the breast as soon as its clipped. I am so relieved that I think we've figured out the problem!

Originally Posted by mibarra Sounds like good advice. Hopefully it goes well!! Don't cry mama, you are doing everything in your power for your LO. My 1st refused to BF, so got pumped milk til I dried up at 4 months. My 2nd needed a nipple shield for the 1st 3 months. You are doing you're best!!

Thank you, I appreciate the words of encouragement.

Originally Posted by Mom2jandb FWIW, I had scabbed nipples in the early days with both of my babies. Even after nursing baby 1 for 2.5 years my nipples still took a beating the first two weeks with baby2. I remember cracking up the scabs to make sure the milk got through (thank goodness for pain meds, lol). I won't say it's normal, but it was normal for me, and I think you will find relief right around the corner.

Yowch! I hope that's not a normal occurrence for me.

Originally Posted by mamatoclaire The same thing happened to me! Bleeding scabbed nipples by day 3. It was awful. Those little pink gums feel like razors! The LC at the hospital gave me a prescription nipple cream and nipple shield. The cream was great! Really numbed the pain. The shield worked but I never weaned off it. My nipples healed completely by 8 weeks and I nursed for 9 months. Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Thank you, its so good to hear stories from mama that have gone through similar things.

Originally Posted by xoxoproverbs31 Girl I know how you feel! I was determined to EBF for multiple reasons and ended up almost every feeding in years because of latch issues or over let down and baby would wail or because of pain. I felt so alone but was encouraged that my body was made to do this and was best for my baby AND my body and wasn't willing to give up just yet. I never took a support class, although that probably would have been wonderful and I should have! My husband actually was a huge supporter for me and rooted me on the continue. He had to speak encouraging words over me almost daily but I was also a new mom and had no idea what I was doing wrong even though I had talked to friends and had tons of BFing books and had studied all the positions. Don't give up just yet momma! Looking back now at my 2.5yo little boy and the close bond we have, I am so blessed and thankful that I didn't give up the multiple times I wanted too. I would definitely join a class...check out baby boutiques around you area and also get on the website KellyMom. I was referred there by an acquaintance and it has been such a huge informational outlet for every question and concern I've had regarding BFing. Hang in there! You're walking where millions of mommas have been before and have made it through!

I have gone to a support group for breastfeeding and it was super encouraging. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

[evasimone]

Another update. Tongue tie is being clipped today. I am pumping almost enough to feed my DD, we've been supplementing with one 4 oz. Bottle of formula per day. She gained 7 oz. in 5 days and she's going to be weighed today. I am hoping at 3 weeks and 2 days old she will finally regain her birth weight.

All of my hopes are resting on the tongue tie clip so I hope I am not disappointed. It would explain so much... her latch issues, the nipple damage, why she couldn't gain weight etc.

After the clip I am seeing the Lactation counselor, she has suggested a nipple shield for a few weeks if the latch isn't substantially better. My nipples are about 70% healed and I am so glad I took the time off to pump and let them heal so they aren't as excruciatingly painful. If I had continued nursing her I think my nipples would have remained hamburger meat indefinitely.

[l_Kimmie_l]

I am glad there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have heard once the tie is cut the latch is so much better and your nipples will be much better.

[evasimone]

Unfortunately I didn't notice a difference with the tongue snip. She latched badly, I started bleeding and then gave up. the LC showed me how to use the nipple shield but it just feels and looks like she's chomping on my nipples, she doesnt even take in any of my areola. I used it twice and both my nipples are raw and bleeding again. I am so disheartened, I really thought I'd get her back to the breast today but it's looking less and less possible.

I am back to pumping, which I hate. I don't know what my next move is.

[Mamanvert]

Ah I SO understand how you feel. It took 6 weeks for someone to tell me that my LO had a high pallet and I had been struggling with thrush since day 4 or 5. I had one doctor tell me that I would need nipple reconstruction surgery because they were so bad and he told me I had to stop nursing and would probably never be able to again (JERK). I had 3 LCs tell me he had a good latch but for some reason something was just not working! Unfortunately my nipples were so far gone and the thrush wasn't letting them heal that they just continued basically to disintegrate. LO was gaining weight fine so that wasn't a problem and I had so much milk. After going to see a few different doctors I had one tell me that if I wanted to continue nursing I needed to take a break. Originally it was only supposed to take 2 weeks but ended up taking 5 weeks of pumping and then I tried to put him back on the breast. At that point he wasn't really interested. By that point LO was about 2.5 3 months and we tried and tried but he just wasn't interested and my nipples were getting raw again because the skin was so new. It took almost 5 months to get rid of thrush and I have now been pumping exclusively for almost 6 months. I KNOW how annoying and painful it is to have had hopes to breastfeed and it not seeming to work out. For some reason it just seems like certain babies get it and others don't right away and at that point many mommas get bad information or don't have enough support. Good job for trying and trying. Keep seeing the LC or go to the LLL. In all honesty though if it doesn't seem to work out don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. I was so emotionally drained and hurt that nursing didn't work especially considering I was one of those mom's who wanted to nurse for 2 years or so. When I decided to EP it was a relief in a way and a mourning time. It is definitely hard at first because you are basically attached to a pump all day and night. It DOES get better though. Unfortunately I didn't find out about a pumping bra until 2 months in which now I can't imagine pumping without. I have my hands free! Also, if you do end up pumping (which I REALLY hope nursing gets better and works out for you!!!) I would get the medela freestyle. I have the PISA which is really great however, now I wish I could walk around and do chores or be able to chase my little mover all around the house instead of being attached to my rocking chair and pump. Don't feel alone in this venture! SO many mom's I have come to understand have trouble with nursing and it is super hard especially as a first time mom to see your ideals and hopes kinda not work out with nursing. I realize now that although nursing is amazing for touch and closeness and bonding, working hard to pump milk and cuddling with my LO while feeding him is the next best thing! Anyways, not sure if I was any help..but I remember going on boards such as this when I was having troubles and it really helped me to hear other peoples stories etc. Good luck momma! You are doing a great job!

[evasimone]

Originally Posted by Mamanvert Ah I SO understand how you feel. It took 6 weeks for someone to tell me that my LO had a high pallet and I had been struggling with thrush since day 4 or 5. I had one doctor tell me that I would need nipple reconstruction surgery because they were so bad and he told me I had to stop nursing and would probably never be able to again (JERK). I had 3 LCs tell me he had a good latch but for some reason something was just not working! Unfortunately my nipples were so far gone and the thrush wasn't letting them heal that they just continued basically to disintegrate. LO was gaining weight fine so that wasn't a problem and I had so much milk. After going to see a few different doctors I had one tell me that if I wanted to continue nursing I needed to take a break. Originally it was only supposed to take 2 weeks but ended up taking 5 weeks of pumping and then I tried to put him back on the breast. At that point he wasn't really interested. By that point LO was about 2.5 3 months and we tried and tried but he just wasn't interested and my nipples were getting raw again because the skin was so new. It took almost 5 months to get rid of thrush and I have now been pumping exclusively for almost 6 months. I KNOW how annoying and painful it is to have had hopes to breastfeed and it not seeming to work out. For some reason it just seems like certain babies get it and others don't right away and at that point many mommas get bad information or don't have enough support. Good job for trying and trying. Keep seeing the LC or go to the LLL. In all honesty though if it doesn't seem to work out don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. I was so emotionally drained and hurt that nursing didn't work especially considering I was one of those mom's who wanted to nurse for 2 years or so. When I decided to EP it was a relief in a way and a mourning time. It is definitely hard at first because you are basically attached to a pump all day and night. It DOES get better though. Unfortunately I didn't find out about a pumping bra until 2 months in which now I can't imagine pumping without. I have my hands free! Also, if you do end up pumping (which I REALLY hope nursing gets better and works out for you!!!) I would get the medela freestyle. I have the PISA which is really great however, now I wish I could walk around and do chores or be able to chase my little mover all around the house instead of being attached to my rocking chair and pump. Don't feel alone in this venture! SO many mom's I have come to understand have trouble with nursing and it is super hard especially as a first time mom to see your ideals and hopes kinda not work out with nursing. I realize now that although nursing is amazing for touch and closeness and bonding, working hard to pump milk and cuddling with my LO while feeding him is the next best thing! Anyways, not sure if I was any help..but I remember going on boards such as this when I was having troubles and it really helped me to hear other peoples stories etc. Good luck momma! You are doing a great job!

Thank you for this. I appreciate hearing your story it makes me feel better. I might end up pumping exclusively if I can't get DD back to the breast and honestly I am afraid by the time I am healed she won't be all that interested like your son. I had to introduce a bottle way too soon (at two weeks) and I am not sure how I am going to get her back on the breast. The LC seems hopeful that we will get her back on and I am too. But I am also terrified of my nipples getting messed up again. It's taking forever to heal, I haven't been able to wear a shirt in 3 weeks and I've been pumping for 11 days now. My nipples are a lot better but they are still raw. This morning I accidentally let the comforter rest on my chest and woke up with it stuck to my nipples.

[Mamanvert]

You sounds SOOOO similar to me. I couldn't wear a shirt for the first month until someone found me some nipple Shells. They are plastic shells made by medela that keeps your bra from touching your nipples. It really helped because that way I could stop being top less all the time and could sleep with blankets over me instead of half way down my body. We moved out of province a month after our son was born and were living with my in-laws while transition from our apartment to our new place when Merrick born. I stayed in our bedroom for a good 2-3 weeks because I was top less 24/7 and living in the house was my 16 year old brother in law and father in law haha. SO many people saw my boobies... Honestly I'm so sorry this is happening to you though. Its such a huge transition with your first baby that it makes adjusting and healing 100 times worse when things don't go well. If your LC has hope than I would definitely trust her and try once you are healed. You never know...some babies will be fine going back. Merrick also hated my over active let down and the fact that I didn't wait until I was fully healed so when I tried to nurse again I would pop him on and off because it hurt so much which didn't help make him like breast feeding again. You are catching this early too so you LO will still be young when you can hopefully start nursing again. That makes a big difference. Baby will still have good reflexes. One thing we tried was using bottles that mimicked proper latch and we would feed him like nursing and making sure he would open wide and suck properly. I also had thrush for 4.5 months so my situation was different too. I don't want you to think that it won't work out and will have to pump like me. You never know! You are doing awesome!

[momof3boys1girl]

K here my story. I noticed my son had the heart shape too pretty early on. We had that clipped. I was still getting sore nipples! I found a pediatric dentist and turnd out he had a posterior tie and a lip tie. The PTT can really make bfing hard and is VERY hard to DX but is not at all uncommon with a reg tie. If you have a reg tie it could go deeper and be a PTT. If she has a ptt it would explain why she not latching well bc well she cant get your whole nipple in her mouth. Can she stick her tongue all the way out past her lips or touch her tongue to the roof of her mouth? She could also have a tight lip tie and would make it really hard to get a good latech too. Also very common if a reg tie is found. Once you get it cut the new latch will not just "happen" you need to help train your baby. They are latching the only way they know how. You need to do exercises to help them learn how to stretch and trust the tounge. There is so much more to learn about tongue ties that i think if you worked with her she could really learn to latch correctly and you will be successful. I went through pure hell with my nipples for the first 2 months. Blood blisters like crazy! Once i worked with him and he relearned how to latch properly it was a breeze from there. He 12 months and still nursing.

ETA: please pm me if you want more info i dont check here often but i can get you loads of info and there an amazing tongue tie facebook group as well with amazing moms who have BTDT. Also a few pediatric dentist on there as well.

[glupton]

If you're having a lot of pain, (I'm sure you've checked this already but will mention it just in case) check that you don't have thrush/nipple yeast infection. I had it for months with my first w/o even knowing it and think it was due to getting antibiotics during labor b/c I had a fever during delivery (DS never had thrush...only I had it). It was sore, painful, scabbed and bloody, and I would often cry through our Bf'ing sessions and b/c of the pain I wasn't able to relax and DS was a slow gainer for awhile (and everyone was telling me it was latch problems for the longest time). Nursing pads would often stick, and cause more problems, etc. and it was all due to the yeast issue which isn't something you can really look at and know it's yeast. I just thought it was natural or b/c of a bad latch. The LC that I worked with eventually figured out that it could maybe be a yeast issue and said you could put hydrogen peroxide on your nipples and if it bubbled, it meant yeast was present. And bubbles there were. It took awhile to get rid of completely, but it was amazing once it was gone. Hope you figure out whatever it is!!!