Diaper Swappers

CarrieMF · 01-30-2013, 08:58 PM

If your dad was going to help you out with a car can he help you with bunks instead? Do you know where the fathers are? Why is only 1 giving child support?

monkeymama07 · 01-30-2013, 10:39 PM

Cps isnt always evil.

How old are your kids? What state do ypu live with? Thats going to help depend on If beds are a big deal.

Can ypu have a friend come over to help Keep the kids under control so you can talk with her and Keep track of Whats happening?

Social services didnt ask me about vaccines they did ask about dr and for his récords showing dates hes been there for care but mine was a Medical neglagence claim. So i dont know it came back unfounded.....

They checked for food, asked about the Medical concern, checked for running water, asked what I needed, checked for bruises, etc....

They did give me a vaccuum and hook me up with resources to help me. She was actually a great help to me.

I cosleep, dont vaccinate, etc... Im fairly free range. Itll be okay deep breathes

Do you have craigslist? I have found alot on there and freecycle. Maybe you can
find a bunk bed.

GreenHome Sewing · 01-31-2013, 08:35 AM

My father has not been very helpful with things of late, and this matter proved no different.
I found and ordered a loft bed from Walmart, cheapest one I could find even with rush shipping (which I haven't received a shipping notice for yet, cross your fingers!) My mom has been kind enough to find money for a new twin sized mattress and a new toddler size mattress (my older son has completely destroyed his, I'd prefer not to pass it on with the toddler bed to my preschooler.)
After buying the bed, plastic mattress covers, and doing ALL the laundry, I am so beyond broke! I was able to sell a few things to help balance it out, cross fingers that I can sell off the last few infant items in my apartment this weekend! They are so very much in the way too.

I wish you could see my apartment and offer suggestions!
I will be putting my oldest into the play/sewing room with his new bed (we have all been in one bedroom until now, but he is almost 6 and I worry what he might see/hear/understand about mommy sleeping with her boyfriend hehe). I reorganized and cleaned that room like crazy yesterday, so it should be almost to my standards of acceptable. My living room feels very cramped and I wish I could think of a way to fix it in time. On the to-do list is all the regular "need to cleans" and those stupid carpets to shampoo. My boyfriend is here weekends, so he can help get the bed situation together (it is being shipped to him anyway).
We now have clean laundry and are way over stocked on healthy groceries, for a positive.

luvsviola · 01-31-2013, 01:06 PM

For our county, children over 1 must be in their own room.

.

Good luck mama!

TalkinBoutMyGirl · 02-01-2013, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunkify

I don't think it was just that. There was probably an allegation of neglect that was communicated and that's why they're coming out. From what I've seen and heard (especially with my sis and her messed up family) you're lucky they gave you a "warning" call and didn't just show up.

You do sound overwhelmed, overworked, and unable to handle the kids. Maybe the school is picking up on that. At any rate, you can tidy up and what not but your attitude about and toward your kids is going to have the biggest impact on them, as well as the overall condition of the home. I would be honest with DCF. Tell them that you've had your share of bad things happening, hit a point where you felt downtrodden but you're working toward your goals in baby steps. Be honest about your abilities to parent your children, and tell them if they'll help you you're willing to do what it takes to make things right. They may have options and resources that you didn't know about. Once there is a paper trail it may hurt you a little bit but it may also help you to get whatever services and help are available to you and your children.

As a former DCF worker I have to say this is spot on. Your attitude will make a WORLD of difference. Ask for help and show them your willingness to change. BE HONEST because if you lie you'll get caught and it will make things much worse. Social workers can find out a lot of things just by calling. From what you've said I see several smaller red flags which the school has probably seen too. See this as an opportunity for change. Good luck!

kaimon · 02-02-2013, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunkify

I don't think it was just that. There was probably an allegation of neglect that was communicated and that's why they're coming out. From what I've seen and heard (especially with my sis and her messed up family) you're lucky they gave you a "warning" call and didn't just show up.

You do sound overwhelmed, overworked, and unable to handle the kids. Maybe the school is picking up on that. At any rate, you can tidy up and what not but your attitude about and toward your kids is going to have the biggest impact on them, as well as the overall condition of the home. I would be honest with DCF. Tell them that you've had your share of bad things happening, hit a point where you felt downtrodden but you're working toward your goals in baby steps. Be honest about your abilities to parent your children, and tell them if they'll help you you're willing to do what it takes to make things right. They may have options and resources that you didn't know about. Once there is a paper trail it may hurt you a little bit but it may also help you to get whatever services and help are available to you and your children.

This

mama23boyz · 02-02-2013, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvsviola

For our county, children over 1 must be in their own room.

.

Good luck mama!

Really? Why? Kids can't share a room? That seems a bit extreme. We have a 3 br and 4 kids...

DalesWidda · 02-02-2013, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvsviola

For our county, children over 1 must be in their own room.

.

Good luck mama!

Well they don't have to have a room all to themselves, right? My kids share a room. Do you mean they just aren't supposed to room with mom and dad?

mama23boyz · 02-02-2013, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DalesWidda

Well they don't have to have a room all to themselves, right? My kids share a room. Do you mean they just aren't supposed to room with mom and dad?

Oh, I bet that's what she meant!

DalesWidda · 02-02-2013, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama23boyz

Oh, I bet that's what she meant!

I hope so! My three share a room. Well technically my 3 year old sleeps with me but she has all her stuff up there.

01-30-2013, 08:58 PM	#21
CarrieMF Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan Posts: 5,926 Ratings: 10 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: DCF - What to Expect? If your dad was going to help you out with a car can he help you with bunks instead? Do you know where the fathers are? Why is only 1 giving child support? __________________ Carrie

01-30-2013, 10:39 PM	#22
monkeymama07 Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NOVA Posts: 1,974 Ratings: 1 Feedback: 100%	Cps isnt always evil. How old are your kids? What state do ypu live with? Thats going to help depend on If beds are a big deal. Can ypu have a friend come over to help Keep the kids under control so you can talk with her and Keep track of Whats happening? Social services didnt ask me about vaccines they did ask about dr and for his récords showing dates hes been there for care but mine was a Medical neglagence claim. So i dont know it came back unfounded..... They checked for food, asked about the Medical concern, checked for running water, asked what I needed, checked for bruises, etc.... They did give me a vaccuum and hook me up with resources to help me. She was actually a great help to me. I cosleep, dont vaccinate, etc... Im fairly free range. Itll be okay deep breathes Do you have craigslist? I have found alot on there and freecycle. Maybe you can find a bunk bed. __________________ FT CNA Single Mama living and learning with my 4 year old son....

01-31-2013, 08:35 AM	#23
GreenHome Sewing Registered Users Formerly: Jonah Baby Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1,392 Ratings: 75 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: DCF - What to Expect? My father has not been very helpful with things of late, and this matter proved no different. I found and ordered a loft bed from Walmart, cheapest one I could find even with rush shipping (which I haven't received a shipping notice for yet, cross your fingers!) My mom has been kind enough to find money for a new twin sized mattress and a new toddler size mattress (my older son has completely destroyed his, I'd prefer not to pass it on with the toddler bed to my preschooler.) After buying the bed, plastic mattress covers, and doing ALL the laundry, I am so beyond broke! I was able to sell a few things to help balance it out, cross fingers that I can sell off the last few infant items in my apartment this weekend! They are so very much in the way too. I wish you could see my apartment and offer suggestions! I will be putting my oldest into the play/sewing room with his new bed (we have all been in one bedroom until now, but he is almost 6 and I worry what he might see/hear/understand about mommy sleeping with her boyfriend hehe). I reorganized and cleaned that room like crazy yesterday, so it should be almost to my standards of acceptable. My living room feels very cramped and I wish I could think of a way to fix it in time. On the to-do list is all the regular "need to cleans" and those stupid carpets to shampoo. My boyfriend is here weekends, so he can help get the bed situation together (it is being shipped to him anyway). We now have clean laundry and are way over stocked on healthy groceries, for a positive. __________________ ~Lana~ SAHM and EMT student to J 4/11/07 A 3/25/10 N 10/14/11 My ISO Seriously ISO 3D jigsaw puzzles, waterproof pillow cover, cheap trainers for 18 month old, Mama summer clothes and bras AND BOYS sz.6ish NAVY BLUE POLOS AND KHAKI SHORTS for summer school!!!

01-31-2013, 01:06 PM	#24
luvsviola Registered Users Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Central Indiana Posts: 15,026 Ratings: 115 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	For our county, children over 1 must be in their own room. . Good luck mama! __________________ Kristen Mommy to Abigail ~1/24/07 and Kendall~3/17/2011 and FINALLY adoptive mama to LEDGER~4/4/09!!!--G-J tube, asthma, oral aversion, reflux, SPD, drug exposure, and still searching for a diagnosis of the rest... Ask me about extended rear facing!

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