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Old 01-20-2013, 09:08 PM   #1
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need some support on weaning while pregnant

I considered tandum nursing. Still unsure about it, but my son will be 3 in April, and I'm pregnant. To be honest, breastfeeding is killing me right now! I'm pretty much dried up, and it feels like he sucks so hard. I want to be done nursing, and give my body a bit of a break before baby comes.

Also, I've had my last 2 babies preterm (36 weekers) and I don't wish to risk another early baby if breastfeeding can cause contractions.

But, my biggest reason is that he's a hard sucker, and it just plain hurts. He doesn't do it on purpose. He tries to comfort me LOL! I only breastfeed him at nap and bed time. 2 times in a 24 hour period. I don't bf overnights anymore, nor do I bf him during other times. I just want to stop.

How do I do it without really upsetting him? He's so attached, and I don't want him to feel like it's his fault in any way. Plus, I'd like to wean him long before baby is due (due in aug). This way, he doesn't feel as though I took it away to give to the baby, you know?

I don't wish for any meanness for nursing him long, or ending nursing now, or anything of the such. I'm in pain from nursing, and I'd like to stop. He's almost 3, and I feel I gave him an awesome start in life

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Old 01-20-2013, 10:55 PM   #2
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My DD was a little over 2 when she "weaned" due to my milk drying up (I'm due in Feb and her bday was Nov). I would tell her it hurt mommy (so with a 3-year-old) it would be much easier understanding wise. I still put DD to bed like I used to, instead of nursing down (for bed or naps) I rub her back and we cuddle if she wants. It's worked out nicely so far. I do plan to offer again once baby is born and my milk comes.
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Old 01-21-2013, 10:29 AM   #3
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

Mama, you have given your baby everything he needs plus some. There should be no guilt that you want to wean. It is OKAY!

"Adventures in Tandem Nursing" and "Mothering your nursing toddler" both talk about how to wean the older nursling. The most important thing is to talk to your son. Explain that it hurts, and talk about how you feel he is getting grown up and doesn't need nursing like he used to.

Since you are down to 2 nursing, I would start limiting the length of both nursing sessions. So for 3 days, nursing sessions would be 5 minutes. Then 3 days, they would be 3 minutes, etc., until you are down to just a count of 10, then only nursing 1 time/day for a 10 count, etc. Obviously offer extra hugs, cuddles, and your attention. This may or may not be hard on him. Slow down if you feel you need to, but you won't "ruin" him as long as you offer support in other ways.
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Old 01-21-2013, 10:30 AM   #4
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

Mama, you have given your baby everything he needs plus some. There should be no guilt that you want to wean. It is OKAY!

"Adventures in Tandem Nursing" and "Mothering your nursing toddler" both talk about how to wean the older nursling. The most important thing is to talk to your son. Explain that it hurts, and talk about how you feel he is getting grown up and doesn't need nursing like he used to.

Since you are down to 2 nursing, I would start limiting the length of both nursing sessions. So for 3 days, nursing sessions would be 5 minutes. Then 3 days, they would be 3 minutes, etc., until you are down to just a count of 10, then only nursing 1 time/day for a 10 count, etc. Obviously offer extra hugs, cuddles, and your attention. This may or may not be hard on him. Slow down if you feel you need to, but you won't "ruin" him as long as you offer support in other ways.
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Old 01-25-2013, 10:12 AM   #5
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchymamaNY View Post
I don't want him to feel like it's his fault in any way. Plus, I'd like to wean him long before baby is due (due in aug). This way, he doesn't feel as though I took it away to give to the baby, you know?
In the same boat here ... you express it so well (and so much more briefly than I could!) Thanks for sharing. I'll be watching for suggestions!

We've cut back to just 5 night sessions a week, mostly through explaning, "Mommy just doesn't have as much milk now because you're growing up." I don't tell him that it's because it hurts because he feels very badly, I just try to tell him that this is just how it happens ... over time the milk goes away.

BUT, I just can't figure out how to make the last step to cutting him off altogether.
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Old 01-25-2013, 10:47 AM   #6
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

I weaned DS when he turned 2 and I was 16 weeks pg. I couldn't stand the pain anymore! It really hurt! He was super attached as well. What worked best for us was to stay busy. When I was sitting down, he wanted to nurse. So I kept moving and we tried to stay out of the house a lot during the day. Which was hard being pg and tired but it was the only way to take his mind off things. That helped cut back a lot, then he was down to naps and nights. I think I did what PP said, just started limiting the time and then telling him we were done. honestly I can't remember the very last step because it went so smoothly without any trouble. I stopped offering and one day he just didn't ask. It was so easy, much easier than I expected. The whole process took only a couple of weeks (from nursing a lot during the day to nothing at all). It was a big surprise that day when he never asked. Bittersweet for sure.
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Old 01-25-2013, 12:16 PM   #7
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

Well, this is exactly where we are too! Only I decided that I couldn't stand nursing anymore and we are almost weaned completely now. I have been SO sick and I finally decided that the nursing and the throwing up and whole combo was NOT working for me, and as much as I wanted to nurse longer, it wasn't going to be something I could do. We were nursing all the time, whenever he wanted really, but I just mostly stopped letting him nurse during the day first, and gave him food/water. Then we tackled bedtime. Then naps. Now we nurse once, first thing in the morning. But that is almost done now too because I can tell my milk is almost dried up. The only reason we are still nursing then is because I'm too lazy/sick feeling to get up at 5 or 5:30am and feed him breakfast. But I'm going to have to suck it up soon because the milk will not be there much longer I think...
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Old 02-02-2013, 01:47 PM   #8
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

I'm in a similar boat - my oldest son is 16 months old and I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I am planning to tandem nurse, but I right now my oldest nurses before naps and bed (total of 3 times a day), and I'd love to figure out how to wean him off of being dependent on nursing to go to sleep - I just don't see how I'll be able to nurse him to sleep all the time with the next baby here. Any advice on how to keep nursing but not necessarily as a means to sleeping?
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:10 PM   #9
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:27 PM   #10
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Re: need some support on weaning while pregnant

I dried up right away with my 21 month old now when she was 14 months.... it was cold Turkey....
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