Girl using FB to search for her birth mother

[Mama*Kim]

I think its awesome. These posts are not "outing" anyone. I would feel differently if one said, "my birth mother is insertfullnamehere. She gave me up for adoption on the 32nd of Octember, 2513. She lived in this specific city at the time. Etc." If a birth mother doesn't want to be found, putting all that info out there may cause some issues. OTOH, simply stating when and where a person was placed doesn't out anyone.

I've seen both sides of it. My cousin is adopted. Until she was 13, they had a semi-open adoption. My aunt and uncle and the birth mom were able to exchange letters, cards, gifts, etc using the agency as a middle man so the birth mom didn't know their last names or address. When my cousin turned 13, they made it fully open. She is very close with her birth family (mom, grandma and younger brother). I know another woman who placed her daughter at about 4 months old. She did it out of shame. Her other children don't even know about the baby she had before them. The daughter she placed would be 26 now; her other kids are 24, 15, and 5. She would be devastated if her info was put out publicly.

[KLeeCW]

Originally Posted by Mama*Kim I think its awesome. These posts are not "outing" anyone. I would feel differently if one said, "my birth mother is insertfullnamehere. She gave me up for adoption on the 32nd of Octember, 2513. She lived in this specific city at the time. Etc." If a birth mother doesn't want to be found, putting all that info out there may cause some issues. OTOH, simply stating when and where a person was placed doesn't out anyone. I've seen both sides of it. My cousin is adopted. Until she was 13, they had a semi-open adoption. My aunt and uncle and the birth mom were able to exchange letters, cards, gifts, etc using the agency as a middle man so the birth mom didn't know their last names or address. When my cousin turned 13, they made it fully open. She is very close with her birth family (mom, grandma and younger brother). I know another woman who placed her daughter at about 4 months old. She did it out of shame. Her other children don't even know about the baby she had before them. The daughter she placed would be 26 now; her other kids are 24, 15, and 5. She would be devastated if her info was put out publicly.

This was my concern. I feel for the person trying to find where they came from, but I also feel for the person who either went through a rough patch and lost their child to the system or who recognized that their child was better off somewhere else. Finding a birth parent or the child you gave up is an extremely emotional event. My brother in law didn't find out he was adopted until he was around 30. He met his birth parents and is close to them now, but at the time it completely turned his and their lives upside down.

[Icryinbaseball]

Originally Posted by squiddles ten? wow... i've only seen the one I just posted... (probably one you've already seen) I agree.. I'm not sure how I feel, on one hand the mother might feel exposed unwillingly... yet, as a child... my heart hurts for those who want to know their birth mom... One thing I know I don't like are those posts that say "Mom says if we get one million likes we get a puppy!"

I went back and counted 8 since yesterday morning. One actually between getting on FB and here when I first posted this. As far as the puppy thing I like the one of the kids holding the sign that says "My mom said if we get a million likes we wont get a darn thing, unless we work for it". My kind of sign.

[Sarah-B]

This is a great idea I would love to do this for my mother who is adopted I wonder if she is up for it?!

[wonton]

i am fine with it.