Diaper Swappers

finleyjudemommy · 02-07-2013, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadianbakers

I think you should talk to your MW about how you're feeling, what your worries are. See what her suggestion is then.
What are the possible risks of high progesterone, or are there any? If there aren't, and you would feel better staying on it, then I'd do that. If there are risks, but you aren't comfortable stopping it totally, try weaning down to where you're in the normal range and stick with that.

AFM: Today is Elliana's birthday. We got some stuff last night and I'm going to make cupcakes for us to have for dessert tonight - all the kids get cupcakes on their actual birthday, then cake at their party, so we will have cupcakes for Elli too.
Zech asked me this morning if we were going to have cake or cupcakes, he was really happy when I said we were. He said that was good, because "we all get cupcakes for our birthday".

The boys also have a hockey game tonight, and everyone is at school today, DH is at work. It's a strange mix of remembering and sadness, and yet still life going on - which is kinda how every day is, really. It's not a bad thing, it's not making me terribly sad, but it's just kinda weird.
I am glad to be able to do something for her day, though. I want to do it for myself, but also for the kids, to help them remember. I don't ever want to force them to feel or remember, but I want to give them the opportunity, kwim?
I've always planned to get a shelf put up in our bedroom for Elli's things. Just hasn't gotten done, even in a year. I'm hoping to get one this weekend and do that, too. I'll feel better having her things in the "right spot" instead of just on our dresser.

The boys realized last night that if Elli was with us still, we would have her seat in the van and seating would change. Then they said "If Elli was here, we'd be full and we wouldn't have room for the new baby!" DH and I both said "If Elli was with us we probably would never have had this baby." Then we talked a bit about how strange this all is - we will never be happy that Elli died, that she's not with us. But how can we be sad that Hiccup is here. It's a strange place to be, loving both of them so much yet knowing that Hiccup never would have existed without Elliana dying.

We always send Happy Birthday balloons up to Jack every year on his angel day...he's only had 2 of them but it's something we plan on doing for him every year. We don't have a grave to go to bc we chose to cremate him and keep him with us so we can't do anything with that. We also send him balloons for other holidays as well :-)

I hope your day is a peaceful one (((hugs)))

quicksilverNHS · 02-07-2013, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadianbakers

I think you should talk to your MW about how you're feeling, what your worries are. See what her suggestion is then.
What are the possible risks of high progesterone, or are there any? If there aren't, and you would feel better staying on it, then I'd do that. If there are risks, but you aren't comfortable stopping it totally, try weaning down to where you're in the normal range and stick with that.

AFM: Today is Elliana's birthday. We got some stuff last night and I'm going to make cupcakes for us to have for dessert tonight - all the kids get cupcakes on their actual birthday, then cake at their party, so we will have cupcakes for Elli too.
Zech asked me this morning if we were going to have cake or cupcakes, he was really happy when I said we were. He said that was good, because "we all get cupcakes for our birthday".

The boys also have a hockey game tonight, and everyone is at school today, DH is at work. It's a strange mix of remembering and sadness, and yet still life going on - which is kinda how every day is, really. It's not a bad thing, it's not making me terribly sad, but it's just kinda weird.
I am glad to be able to do something for her day, though. I want to do it for myself, but also for the kids, to help them remember. I don't ever want to force them to feel or remember, but I want to give them the opportunity, kwim?
I've always planned to get a shelf put up in our bedroom for Elli's things. Just hasn't gotten done, even in a year. I'm hoping to get one this weekend and do that, too. I'll feel better having her things in the "right spot" instead of just on our dresser.

The boys realized last night that if Elli was with us still, we would have her seat in the van and seating would change. Then they said "If Elli was here, we'd be full and we wouldn't have room for the new baby!" DH and I both said "If Elli was with us we probably would never have had this baby." Then we talked a bit about how strange this all is - we will never be happy that Elli died, that she's not with us. But how can we be sad that Hiccup is here. It's a strange place to be, loving both of them so much yet knowing that Hiccup never would have existed without Elliana dying.

*hugs*
I know these feelings all too well.

For Deagan's birthday we did a cake and candles and sang him happy birthday and we all blew them out. Then we walked to the tiny lake near our house and just let the water calm us (DH and I both grew up near water and find that being at the waters edge soothes us as nothing else does). We try to plan some family outing for it---next year we are thinking of getting a cabin and going hiking.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

finleyjudemommy · 02-07-2013, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS

*hugs*
I know these feelings all too well.

For Deagan's birthday we did a cake and candles and sang him happy birthday and we all blew them out. Then we walked to the tiny lake near our house and just let the water calm us (DH and I both grew up near water and find that being at the waters edge soothes us as nothing else does). We try to plan some family outing for it---next year we are thinking of getting a cabin and going hiking.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

Those all sound like great things! Being with just hubby and the kids is a nice way to remember :-)

canadianbakers · 02-07-2013, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by finleyjudemommy

We always send Happy Birthday balloons up to Jack every year on his angel day...he's only had 2 of them but it's something we plan on doing for him every year. We don't have a grave to go to bc we chose to cremate him and keep him with us so we can't do anything with that. We also send him balloons for other holidays as well :-)

I hope your day is a peaceful one (((hugs)))

Thank you. I would love to send balloons up for her... but it's usually too cold for outdoor stuff right now, even just releasing balloons!
I may still release the one I've got though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by quicksilverNHS

*hugs*
I know these feelings all too well.

For Deagan's birthday we did a cake and candles and sang him happy birthday and we all blew them out. Then we walked to the tiny lake near our house and just let the water calm us (DH and I both grew up near water and find that being at the waters edge soothes us as nothing else does). We try to plan some family outing for it---next year we are thinking of getting a cabin and going hiking.

It's just a very strange place to be. I don't think anyone who hasn't lost a child can really understand the strange dichotomy of it all.
I will never be happy or glad or thankful that Elli died... but I will also never be sad or resentful or ungrateful that Hiccup is coming to us. I still do feel like Elli had a hand in all of this somehow.

I love that idea - getting away, the family together. And I totally understand about the water being calming. Nothing better than sitting and watching the waves.

Harmony96 · 02-07-2013, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadianbakers

DH and I both said "If Elli was with us we probably would never have had this baby." Then we talked a bit about how strange this all is - we will never be happy that Elli died, that she's not with us. But how can we be sad that Hiccup is here. It's a strange place to be, loving both of them so much yet knowing that Hiccup never would have existed without Elliana dying.

We're the same way with Jonathan and Josiah. The way my cycles lined up, even with Jonathan being premature, I wouldn't have had the cycle that Josiah came from if he had lived.

ingrid5699 · 02-07-2013, 01:27 PM

(((Elena))) Hope Elli's birthday was not too hard for you. Life going on is the way it is though.

Marie-YAY for viability! I'm there today

It'll be a year since my m/c in 2 weeks. I share with you guys that this baby wouldn't be here if that baby would have lived. In fact I got my BFP on my lost angel's EDD.

AFM-had another checkup and placenta has already moved a bit-YAY! Baby is still transverse but the Doc thinks it's because the placenta is still so low and is where the head would be if baby were head down. We also talked a bit about the actual birth and decided on a definite induction if my cervix is favorable. (it's always been so I'm not worried!). Now let's hope baby doesn't decide to be funny and be earlier than induction. Like I've said before I do NOT want a toddler assisted homebirth :P I'm curious if the induction will be worse or better than my 2 super fast births. At least I should hopefully be able to get pain meds this time. (LOL now wath me go in under an hour again!) My SPD is MUCH better thankfully and I can move again. YAY for that! Still naueous and puking but that's not new is it?!

stevensmom · 02-07-2013, 01:35 PM

There's a growing baby in there!

And a show off at that. Waving and playing with the umbilical cord!

Harmony96 · 02-07-2013, 02:24 PM

Awww look how detailed!

PaisleyDeann · 02-07-2013, 04:59 PM

Yay for viability!! Such an exciting milestone!!!!!! <3

AFM: Spent 5 hours in the ER this morning. Been having contractions since Monday. At times they have been 3-5 minutes apart and lasting 1-1.5 minutes and cluster for 2-3 hours. I have been drinking tons of water trying to slow them down and it worked for the most part but I still continued to have them periodically and they would often times be close together. At 4am this morning I woke up with a constant dull achy cramping and lower back ache. I decided it was time to go in. I had been feeling baby like crazy but I needed to make sure my body wasn't trying to go into labor.

Baby looked great on ultrasound HR 147. No bleeding and my cervix was visually closed and not effaced so they sent me home. I'm a little unsettled since I am still crampy but I guess everything looks fine. I'm close to 18 weeks and never had any issues with preterm labor before so my assumption is things are probably fine just a new experience for me I guess. Just going to try and take it easy for awhile....

homebirthmom · 02-07-2013, 05:18 PM

oh mamas you break my heart reading your stories. I must be in too raw of a place or just a mom...

02-07-2013, 01:27 PM	#46
ingrid5699 Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vienna, Austria Posts: 319 Ratings: 4 Feedback: 100%	Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Feb 1-14) (((Elena))) Hope Elli's birthday was not too hard for you. Life going on is the way it is though. Marie-YAY for viability! I'm there today It'll be a year since my m/c in 2 weeks. I share with you guys that this baby wouldn't be here if that baby would have lived. In fact I got my BFP on my lost angel's EDD. AFM-had another checkup and placenta has already moved a bit-YAY! Baby is still transverse but the Doc thinks it's because the placenta is still so low and is where the head would be if baby were head down. We also talked a bit about the actual birth and decided on a definite induction if my cervix is favorable. (it's always been so I'm not worried!). Now let's hope baby doesn't decide to be funny and be earlier than induction. Like I've said before I do NOT want a toddler assisted homebirth :P I'm curious if the induction will be worse or better than my 2 super fast births. At least I should hopefully be able to get pain meds this time. (LOL now wath me go in under an hour again!) My SPD is MUCH better thankfully and I can move again. YAY for that! Still naueous and puking but that's not new is it?! __________________ Ingrid, Mommy to Patrick 12'06 and Aurelia 12'08, Mommy to 6 angel babies-triplets 11'04, baby B 5'06 and our last little angel 2'12, chemical pregnancy 6'12, hoping our rainbow baby will join us in May 2013

02-07-2013, 01:35 PM	#47
stevensmom Moderator Squeeze your own darn cheeks Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: a little place called Home Posts: 34,412 Ratings: 368 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Feb 1-14) There's a growing baby in there! And a show off at that. Waving and playing with the umbilical cord! __________________ Erica , wife to Ben, momma to Steven aka Boo11/30/06 & Emily aka MonkeyBuns9/11/10 "Opidy" joining the crew August 2013 Forever in my heart, always on my mind (3.09, 5.09, 12.11)...."Life's too short to buy green bananas" Swag with me! I've made over $520 in amazon gift cards & $225 in paypal

02-07-2013, 02:24 PM	#48
Harmony96 Administrator My New Year's fireworks were all the colors of the rainbow! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 22,248 Ratings: 373 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Feb 1-14) Awww look how detailed! __________________ Andrea, child of God, wife of Tim, charting and sewing mama of Lydia, Benjamin, HBAC rainbow Josiah and ^i^ preemie Jonathan, 11/27/11-12/24/11 I'm (finally) writing my book!

02-07-2013, 04:59 PM	#49
PaisleyDeann Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Oregon Posts: 440 Ratings: 2 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Yay for viability!! Such an exciting milestone!!!!!! <3 AFM: Spent 5 hours in the ER this morning. Been having contractions since Monday. At times they have been 3-5 minutes apart and lasting 1-1.5 minutes and cluster for 2-3 hours. I have been drinking tons of water trying to slow them down and it worked for the most part but I still continued to have them periodically and they would often times be close together. At 4am this morning I woke up with a constant dull achy cramping and lower back ache. I decided it was time to go in. I had been feeling baby like crazy but I needed to make sure my body wasn't trying to go into labor. Baby looked great on ultrasound HR 147. No bleeding and my cervix was visually closed and not effaced so they sent me home. I'm a little unsettled since I am still crampy but I guess everything looks fine. I'm close to 18 weeks and never had any issues with preterm labor before so my assumption is things are probably fine just a new experience for me I guess. Just going to try and take it easy for awhile.... __________________ Amanda Married to Tim, the love of my life and my best friend 12/06 Mommy to Paisley(4) & Timmery(2) & expecting our RAINBOW July 2013!!

02-07-2013, 05:18 PM	#50
homebirthmom Registered Users Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 7,110 Ratings: 272 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Pregnancy After Loss (Feb 1-14) oh mamas you break my heart reading your stories. I must be in too raw of a place or just a mom... __________________ homebirthin mom to 5 4 born unassisted. lost 6 along the way.