Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

[sashaz122]

Originally Posted by stevensmom yep not a battle worth fighting over...get her her own pair of socks and let her wear them!

Haha I never thought that an option! Ok we'll try

[stevensmom]

you'll be amazed what they want to wear when they set their mind to it.

A friend of mine's dd wanted to wear a tutu I made her all day every day. Wore it to school 5 days a week Really really really isn't worth fighting over.

[EmilytheStrange]

I'm fearfully looking forward to a similar stage.

just because I think it makes fun memories - 'and when you were 2, you wore such and such every day' or 'you insisted on sleeping with a can of tomato sauce', etc etc.

but I know it's more frustrating when you're entrenched in it.

[stevensmom]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange I'm fearfully looking forward to a similar stage. just because I think it makes fun memories - 'and when you were 2, you wore such and such every day' or 'you insisted on sleeping with a can of tomato sauce', etc etc. but I know it's more frustrating when you're entrenched in it.

I still get teased (in a fun way, so I'm okay with it) about my constant need to eat pb&j sandwiches. It's all I would eat, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

My bff's dad still teases me everytime I see him

[sashaz122]

Wow it's working! For me today anyways zero screams at daycare and zero at home twice (daddy/dd gone to the public pool now). All I had to do was slow down and give her options every time. She has two pairs of boots so I set them out and asked which she wanted, got everything done even brushed teeth and ate! Usually with the tantrums it would take longer anyway.

I am guilty here because I keep thinking her too small to have any opinions still but she wants to be in control and I need to slow down, respect and treat her more like a full size person. Thank you as you taught me a good lesson.

[stevensmom]

that is great news!

[PurpleFluff]

Lots of kids have trouble with transitions, even transitions to good things. Giving a five min warning, then a 2 min, then 1 min, then ten second countdown might help. Also always talking about what's going to happen next, like you're narrating everything. "Right now you have five more minutes to play, and then we will get your coat and shoes on and get in the car. I'll tell you when your five min are done". Then give the choices like others have suggested. The book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" is a great read also.

[MsGiggles]

Great news with the success, mama! Congrats!

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange some of you guys must have some amazing 26month olds. There's no way in the world that my child would have understood 'you can't come back if you tantrum now' at that age. She's almost 29 months and she still wouldn't get that. ...

No, not amazing, not sure it would work with mine either. I usually parent by gut-instinct, and that was my gut-instinct to that type of situation (which I have seen at preschool - different as many pointed out from daycare!)

Always helpful to get a reality check from more experienced moms! I'd much rather learn that a tactic won't work from here instead of the 'live & learn' way!

[mamazita]

Even though I want to pick up my (27mo) ds and get home ASAP I realized that the key to a peaceful transition is to not rush. I spend 5-10 minutes hanging out, talking to his daycare lady, looking at his art projects, etc. He loves to wave to his friends through the window (all the kids run to the window and wave when someone leaves) so I always remind him that we get to do that. Once we get in the car I let him play 'drive' for a few minutes before we hit the road (we have a 15 min drive home).
I wouldn't force the shoe/coat issue either, just bring a blanket if it's cold.

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by sashaz122 Wow it's working! For me today anyways zero screams at daycare and zero at home twice (daddy/dd gone to the public pool now). All I had to do was slow down and give her options every time. She has two pairs of boots so I set them out and asked which she wanted, got everything done even brushed teeth and ate! Usually with the tantrums it would take longer anyway. I am guilty here because I keep thinking her too small to have any opinions still but she wants to be in control and I need to slow down, respect and treat her more like a full size person. Thank you as you taught me a good lesson.

yay!