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Old 03-03-2013, 06:34 PM   #11
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Re: My mom is trying to take over my birthing!

Sounds like you have a good plan to chat with her mama I just wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with not inviting her to the birth. My mother is VERY intense, tends to take over to the point where my hubby's voice is not heard and is a total worry wort. I needed her with my twins because I was scared beyond belief to have babies born at 29 weeks but this time around she is not invited. We will call her once the baby is born and the dust has settled. Think about what YOU want, it is your birth!

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Old 03-03-2013, 06:38 PM   #12
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Re: My mom is trying to take over my birthing!

*whispers* how's it going on the pot front?
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Old 03-03-2013, 08:47 PM   #13
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Re: My mom is trying to take over my birthing!

I get that you don't want to hurt her feelings or dampen her excitement but honestly this is just going to be the first of MANY times where you will have to stand up for your choices/desires/plans/wishes as a parent, so you really should practice now lol. Just let her know that her support is important to you and you want her there but it is going to be your and DHs special time and she needs to respect that. And tell your DH that while he is prepared to support and advocate for you during labor he also has to stand his ground if needed.
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:31 AM   #14
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Re: My mom is trying to take over my birthing!

I agree. I was a bit taken aback by how many people just assumed they would be entitled to front row seats as if it were a show. LOL A frank discussion on who will be coming to your home after baby arrives and when should happen now too. Being exhausted and overwhelmed, possibly trying to learn bfing and a house full of people that don't understand is awful too.
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:16 PM   #15
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I agree. I was a bit taken aback by how many people just assumed they would be entitled to front row seats as if it were a show. LOL A frank discussion on who will be coming to your home after baby arrives and when should happen now too. Being exhausted and overwhelmed, possibly trying to learn bfing and a house full of people that don't understand is awful too.
Amen!! My MIL was so mad when we had DS that we said no one could be in the waiting room and that we were going to take 2-3 hours as a family of 3 (DH, baby and I). We wanted skin-to-skin time, bf'ing time, etc - just us. My family respected it but my MIL was not happy and said we were selfish. She also wanted to be there for the labor which I was adamantly against. Finally, my 40-something, never-married, no kids BIL told her to zip it and asked why she wanted to be there for all that would likely go down (me being sick, in pain, stressed, etc). Amen to that!! I will just have DH in the room this time too. Giving birth is an intensely personal experience and each mama should do what makes her comfortable, including having who she wants there.

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Old 03-05-2013, 07:38 AM   #16
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*whispers* how's it going on the pot front?
Better. He ha cut it down to less than once a week. I think he is really attempting to make me happy while not giving up what he wants an that works for me.
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:41 AM   #17
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Amen!! My MIL was so mad when we had DS that we said no one could be in the waiting room and that we were going to take 2-3 hours as a family of 3 (DH, baby and I). We wanted skin-to-skin time, bf'ing time, etc - just us. My family respected it but my MIL was not happy and said we were selfish. She also wanted to be there for the labor which I was adamantly against. Finally, my 40-something, never-married, no kids BIL told her to zip it and asked why she wanted to be there for all that would likely go down (me being sick, in pain, stressed, etc). Amen to that!! I will just have DH in the room this time too. Giving birth is an intensely personal experience and each mama should do what makes her comfortable, including having who she wants there.

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I haven't even had the conversation with MIL yet. She lives 3 hours away and told me to tell her as soon as contractions start so she can come here to be here for the labor and delivery. I figure we will just tell her after baby comes and that will give us the 3 hours before her hyper butt shows up
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Old 03-05-2013, 12:26 PM   #18
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Re: My mom is trying to take over my birthing!

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I haven't even had the conversation with MIL yet. She lives 3 hours away and told me to tell her as soon as contractions start so she can come here to be here for the labor and delivery. I figure we will just tell her after baby comes and that will give us the 3 hours before her hyper butt shows up
Tell her when you're almost ready to push. Then you can just say you didn't realize that the baby would come so soon. Sometimes the drama blows over easier once it's already happened then to bring it up ahead of time. Also, what's your plan for after the baby's born. You don't want to be stuck with your mom at your house taking over everything, telling you and hubby you're doing things wrong and hogging baby.
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Old 03-05-2013, 02:26 PM   #19
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I haven't even had the conversation with MIL yet. She lives 3 hours away and told me to tell her as soon as contractions start so she can come here to be here for the labor and delivery. I figure we will just tell her after baby comes and that will give us the 3 hours before her hyper butt shows up
That sounds like a great plan!!

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Old 03-05-2013, 04:50 PM   #20
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Tell her when you're almost ready to push. Then you can just say you didn't realize that the baby would come so soon. Sometimes the drama blows over easier once it's already happened then to bring it up ahead of time. Also, what's your plan for after the baby's born. You don't want to be stuck with your mom at your house taking over everything, telling you and hubby you're doing things wrong and hogging baby.
I don't see my mom pushing herself on us after baby. She is just so excited for the birth. She is very pro-bonding time and wouldn't try to get in the way of the three of us getting used to being a family. Her biggest problem is wanting to make sure I get the birth I want. (I plan for an all natural hypnobabies birth and a very intervention friendly hospital who told me they will throw my cloth diapers away..) Her intentions are good. She is just pushing DH to the back burner because she is so passionate about enforcing my birth plan.
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