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Old 03-18-2013, 07:13 AM   #1
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Terrible dream over the weekend...

*WARNING: this post is about fears of losing this pregnancy. PLEASE DO NOT READ if doing so would cause you stress or more fear!*

I, thankfully, have never lost a pregnancy of my own. I did, however, have a horrible EMS call a few months back that involved a stillborn baby which was supposed to be 20 weeks along, but had certainly stopped growing some time before that. I'll spare you the details, but it was one of the worst calls of my life for various reasons, and I had nightmares for a while about it. The sight of my own blood during menstration was terrible for the next few months. While I'd had "baby fever" before this call, I couldn't bear to think of being pregnant after that call. The call was not physically difficult, but it was extremely emotionally taxing, especially being a mother...

Fastforward to now. I've tried not to think about that experience since I've been pregnant, but I took a nap yesterday and VERY vividly dreamt that I lost this baby and in my dream, it looked like the little one I took care of on that call a while ago. The dream woke me.

I'm just wondering--for all of you who HAVE had a traumatic incident involving losing a pregnancy or child, how are you dealing with that? How do you deal with the dreams of it? I, on the one hand, feel it's very important to think, feel, and act positive about what outcomes I expect with my pregnancy and birthing...however, I also feel that my dreams while pregnant are very reflective of what's happening inside of me, so...I guess I'm kinda freaked out after having that dream.

Ugh. Sorry to bring this up. I hope it didn't upset anyone. I just don't really know how to deal with these fears.



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Old 03-18-2013, 12:05 PM   #2
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I also, thankfully, have not had a loss of my own but I see them frequently at work and I've found that very hard this time around. I just got a pregnancy meditation app on my phone that I'm going to try to help me chill some. That's about all
I have so far.
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Old 03-18-2013, 04:30 PM   #3
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Hugs mama! I had a loss the end of December at 7w1d. I am currently 5w5d and at times I just have to focus on taking it day by day. I had my fist dream about losing this baby a few nights ago and woke up literally with tears in my eyes. I did dream about losing our bean in December before it happened but in all honesty I had un-reassuring betas from the beginning so I was sort of mentally preparing for it.

We are choosing not to do any betas or u/s this time before our 8 week appointment on April 4th. I feel very hopeful with this pregnancy, something I didn't feel last time. I know I owe it to THIS baby to be joyful each day, but I am not there yet. I still temp and poas every day The fear still overpowers. I just keep praying that one day soon the joy will overcome the fear.
"But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD" Joshua 24:15
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Old 03-18-2013, 05:11 PM   #4
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I lost my last baby at 16 weeks. It was traumatic.
It still feels unreal but I know it's was real.

I've chosen to take this pregnancy one day at a time. I still think about 'what if' I lose this one too. I'm just concentrating on the fact that I'm still pregnant today and that's good!

Don't let your imagination rule you!
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