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Old 03-16-2013, 10:49 AM   #61
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

hehe, I guess this old thread got pulled up but people didn't notice her siggy says she's expecting #5.

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Old 03-16-2013, 11:56 AM   #62
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

One thing I wanted to say is that if your husband finds that children are stressful, I think it would be important if you haven't already to find out what he finds stressful. Is it finances? Are there things you could do to stretch the budget farther? Or if its that they are disobedient and disrespectful, working harder at consistent teaching/discipline of the kiddos could be essential and could change his perspective after a year or two of a peaceful pleasant home environment. Or maybe its something else you could work to address. Maybe not but its be worth the conversation.
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:01 PM   #63
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

Sorry, I just happen to see this pop up!

Spodie- I'm so sorry. I honestly feel so selfish "complaining" when other moms with less children are wanting more

Nicole- aw I'm sure it being flipped is tough. I no it's tough on my DH! There isn't a decision we could both be comfortable with without God intervening and changing our hearts. So one of us will have to suck it up. I hope you'll come to a happy medium though. Hugs momma!

Nannorie- oh wow! Now that is extremely tough! I cannot even imagine how painful that must be for you I'm really sorry...and that really sucks. That would take a lot of strength to go for years with your dream being crushed. I'm so happy your DH has come around to at least 1!!!!! I hope when he meets his first child, it will trigger a desire for more! And I do the same thing. Never complain while pregnant and try to do everything I normally do when I'm not pregnant...in hopes that it will sway him. Although my pregnancies aren't a factor in his decision.
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:08 PM   #64
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

Yes, chandid is right! We are pregnant with #5! I actually got pregnant I think 2mo. After posting this. Although bob said no more, he still didn't use protection. And afterwards he would always want to kick himself because he knew he should. Well I got pregnant to my satisfaction. He wasn't angry but he wasn't jumping for joy either. Just chill and not involved like he normall is with my pregnancies. And he said this time he will definitely be getting a V since he lacks self control. I KNOW I will struggle with that since I'm still 100% open to more children. I've been ok with being content this pregnancy...but I can see myself doing what I did last time and trying to not talk or obsess about it at all hoping his mind changes. Look for another post from me in a year from now : / Just pray for my heart please!!!!
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Old 03-17-2013, 08:25 PM   #65
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

Jess- Honestly it's neither. I'm very structured, they go down for naps when it's time without a fight, they go to bed at 730 every night. I've been very diligent in disciplining and honestly they are obedient kids. All sit still for 2hrs. In church without any toys/snacks to entertain them without making a peep...even youngest. (5,4,3,1). It's not like some households where mealtimes or bedtimes are hassle. They no the routine, and its followed without fussing. Simple. But they are boys. They are loud, like crashing cars, chasing each other, etc., and do fight. Granted the fighting is disobedience and they are disciplined, but they are young and I think just the constant attention and a kid always needing something or always talking, etc. is what stresses him out. He can't just have a quite peaceful relaxing time while they are awake if he is home. And I think that's normal. He has PLENTY of time away from them at the farm doing what he loves when he gets off work. And it's not finances. We just built a 6 bedroom house AND he is looking to get me a big passenger van...so we have plenty of room too! It's just out of his comfort zone growing up with a sister 11yrs. Older and not knowing one family or socializing with a family with more than 2 kids. No one in his family has more than that. None. Most don't have any! It's just so foreign to him and the "family" atmosphere is too since he grew up more as a laborer on a farm than a child in a family. So that family mentality he does not have. His parents never took him on a vacation, never took him to a pool (he doesn't no how to swim), never spent quality time with him doing something a child would like to do other than farming. He just was dragged along at 430am every morning to milk cows before he had to go to school, etc. literally he just tagged along everywhere "their" dreams led them until he got older and started working on the farm and their dreams became his. Sorry for ranting. I just find it soooo sad
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Old 03-18-2013, 09:07 AM   #66
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I totally get what you are saying about dh wanting relaxing time without the loudness of kids near by. I think we have that situation over here too. The kids stress dh out for small reasons. I really had to talk him into a third. I thought I'd be happy but of course now I want more. I'm not even goin to bother bringing it up because I'm afraid dh will get the big V if I do and then there is no chance of anything.
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Old 03-19-2013, 07:20 PM   #67
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

Lexy - Thank you for your kind words! And congratulations on you pregnancy! Dh knows I will have bitterness towards him, I couldn't help it, if we can not get pregnant or it takes a very long time. I think that is why he is willing to go for it now. The other day he said that in the end, not having a child would be his biggest regret in life (if we never did).
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Old 03-21-2013, 08:23 PM   #68
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Re: How will I Ever stop wanting more children?

Nannorie- Awww that is really sweet of him to say! LIke totally not a guy thing (atleast not my hubby) thing to say :0) That's wonderful. I really hope this is a quicker process for you from here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spicy- Yep, I'm trying my best to not think or say or hint at anything. i feel like the 2nd I pour out how badly I don't want to be finished, is the 2nd he will schedule his V. Sorry momma I hate that I feel like I'm always wanting more and "might" not get to have more, but I also hate hearing others feel the same type pain
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