gift for BM?

[FindingMercy]

We did a birthstone pendant for birthmom and a children's Bible for her kids (we knew she was a Christian) and its the Bible we read to our kids. She loved both, she still wears the necklace daily and the Bible made her cry.

Congrats! Hope all goes well with baby's health. When can she relinquish?

[kitkatkc]

She can relinquish after 72 hours, but that is tricky, because that makes it late Sat night, when there won't be a social worker or lower or notary available. It will most likely be Monday morning as birth father is in jail and they have to go there to get his consents.

[PoshPants]

Originally Posted by kitkatkc She can relinquish after 72 hours, but that is tricky, because that makes it late Sat night, when there won't be a social worker or lower or notary available. It will most likely be Monday morning as birth father is in jail and they have to go there to get his consents.

are you already mothering the baby or the birth mother?

I assume she's 100%? Ive heard of people changing their mind, which I couldn't even imagine how that would be for the one adopting

A necklace is a great idea, will you keep in touch, I've read some amazing stories on open adoptions where people keep in touch

[kitkatkc]

I am rooming with the baby currently, BM has seen him once, I am not even sure that she even wanted to hold him. I am terrified of her changing her mind, but both the social worker and the adoption contact feel very confident that she is going to continue with the adoption plan. She put our name that we choose on the birth certificate, including our last name, even though she didn't have to. She is in a methadone treatment program and birth father is in jail, she is working very hard on improving her future, and is adamant that her child be given the opportunity to go to college.

[kitkatkc]

We are unsure of how much contract she would like-we have agreed on sharing photos, and I do know her full name, we are willing to consider a totally open adoption, but it will also have to do with whether she is able to stay off of drugs.

[PoshPants]

Originally Posted by kitkatkc We are unsure of how much contract she would like-we have agreed on sharing photos, and I do know her full name, we are willing to consider a totally open adoption, but it will also have to do with whether she is able to stay off of drugs.

Maybe the contact will help her? I hope so.

Steve Jobs was given up, to a family who would promise he would go to college, he did but dropped out. I think his birth mother would have been proud regardless (although unsure if he ever met her)

[sunnymommy]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy We did a birthstone pendant for birthmom and a children's Bible for her kids (we knew she was a Christian) and its the Bible we read to our kids. She loved both, she still wears the necklace daily and the Bible made her cry. Congrats! Hope all goes well with baby's health. When can she relinquish?

Ok, was it just with Abraham's birthstone? or with her other kids' too? I love that idea and now am thinking of doing one for dd2 and dd4s BM for birthmom's day. But, would I put just their two birthstones or her kids' on their as well?

[FindingMercy]

Originally Posted by sunnymommy Ok, was it just with Abraham's birthstone? or with her other kids' too? I love that idea and now am thinking of doing one for dd2 and dd4s BM for birthmom's day. But, would I put just their two birthstones or her kids' on their as well?

We did just Abraham's and a charm that said "love". She kept the pregnancy a secret from most people, so we liked that it wasn't an obvious "I placed my child for adoption!" symbol. If it would have had the other kids' birthstones it would have raised questions.

[newmommy13]

i'll be holding my breath all weekend! i hope you are able to enjoy your time with baby and it sounds like you have the start of a great adoption going on! so exciting!!!

[kitkatkc]

So, with limited shopping available, I was able to find a really pretty heart pendant with a rose and some pearls, and also a locket. I am going to try to print a picture of Jake for her to put in it, but I don't know if I will have access to a printer before she is discharged from the hospital tomorrow.
I am thinking that I will give her the locket and send her a picture.

Baby Jake is doing ok, but having a few problems with detox. They are on the fence right now about whether they should move him to the NICU. He is tiny, not quite 5lbs. Either my husband or I have been with him 24/7. We are trying to figure out how to get him covered on our insurance before the adoption is legally completed, since medical bills will probably be high. If he has to be in NICUfor a long period, we are hoping to transfer him closer to home, we are currently a 10 hour drive from home, and we can't keep the other kids here indefinitely.

I am feeling pretty stressed out right now with all the legal stuff... It makes my head spin, and I am just hoping that we can go home soon. It is an out of state adoption, so I guess there are days of court stuff to get through.