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Old 04-18-2013, 11:55 PM   #1
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can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

We miscarried a month ago and I have NOT been able to be myself. I find myself doing a lot of things I did when I had ppd. Also, I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with my dh because it just reminds me of the loss. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to just stay on my meds, since I had stopped taking them when I was pregnant and I should feel better by next month.

The hard part is my dh is getting really hurt that I don't want to be intimate, but I really can't. The last thing through there was our dead baby, how can I want to be sexual? I was barely 8 weeks, but even when I shower I imagine how big my belly would be now, if I would be able to feel kicks yet etc. The only way I think I could be intimate is if it were to try for another baby, but he doesn't think we should risk another loss.

Do you think it's normal to be so distant in the intimate part of your marriage after losing your baby or do you think it's my medication not kicking in? I take 60 mg of paxil daily for anxiety/ocd/panic disorder.

For the most part I will feel okay, but then I seem to go down these bunny holes of wanting to be alone in silence.

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Old 04-19-2013, 12:26 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by DallasK
We miscarried a month ago and I have NOT been able to be myself. I find myself doing a lot of things I did when I had ppd. Also, I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with my dh because it just reminds me of the loss. I talked to my psychiatrist and he said to just stay on my meds, since I had stopped taking them when I was pregnant and I should feel better by next month.

The hard part is my dh is getting really hurt that I don't want to be intimate, but I really can't. The last thing through there was our dead baby, how can I want to be sexual? I was barely 8 weeks, but even when I shower I imagine how big my belly would be now, if I would be able to feel kicks yet etc. The only way I think I could be intimate is if it were to try for another baby, but he doesn't think we should risk another loss.

Do you think it's normal to be so distant in the intimate part of your marriage after losing your baby or do you think it's my medication not kicking in? I take 60 mg of paxil daily for anxiety/ocd/panic disorder.

For the most part I will feel okay, but then I seem to go down these bunny holes of wanting to be alone in silence.
I'm so sorry

I was VERY depressed after my fourth miscarriage...and even while I was pregnant (happened several months later) and after I had the baby. I haven't ever taken medication, so I can't help with that part, but I know it took me over a year to get better.

Hugs to you, mama!
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Old 04-19-2013, 06:57 AM   #3
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

you certainly can!! i believe I have that now, many of the same symptoms you have... I have a call into the counselors. I went from numb for months to now really sad and withdrawing from life a lot. im working out and that helps to get blood to my brain.
my hubby and I having a rough spot due to this and then me being really crabby, dont want to be intimate in every way possible. thanks goodness we get a alone vacation tomorrow.
i had 3 losses in a row so yeah, my brain is swirling.

i too picture myself w the belly, realize i would feel kicking and I am often counting down the months till baby would be here :/
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Old 04-19-2013, 07:38 AM   #4
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

Yes, and my dh is much better with it than I am. He says what's in the past is in the past and there is nothing we can do about it so I need to stop dwelling. I am constantly running around to all these extra activities with the kids and I feel like I over worked myself so now I just want to stay home. I have missed a lot of activities for the kids because I don't want to talk about what happened with all my kids friends moms. My family tries to be supportive by saying, "it just wasn't meant to be." I get it. I don't think I even realized how sad I was until I saw on ds how many other women have lost babies too.
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Old 04-19-2013, 02:53 PM   #5
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

Yes yes yes, I was very depressed and anxietry ridden after my m/c, I finally went on zoloft and wow has it ever helped! I've even read that some women can get PTSD after a miscarriage.
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Old 04-23-2013, 06:57 PM   #6
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I was very, very depressed and anxiety ridden after my miscarriages, as well. It makes perfect sense, between the hormones (the same ones that would cause ppd) and the magnitude of your loss. It's absolutely normal not to feel like everything is fine, because it isn't.

Sending you prayers and hugs. I don't think you should have to wait a month to feel better, though... if you keep struggling, do call in and see if there's something more they can suggest for you in the meantime, maybe some temporary bridge meds or something.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:16 AM   #7
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

mama. I believe you most definitely can. I had many troubles with depression after our first miscarriage. The others were all hard, too, but that first one was terrible, mentally.
I know exactly what you mean about imagining how big you'd be, where you'd be in that pregnancy, and counting down to that baby's due date. I did all these same things with all of my losses.
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Old 09-23-2013, 07:55 PM   #8
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Re: can you get ppd after a miscarriage?

You poor thing <3 I know just how you feel....

It is totally normal to have depression and feel blue after a loss. I read that in some countries the family helps and pampers the mom for one month after a successful pregnancy and for three months after a miscarriage. In America we push the miscarriage under the rug and don't want to talk about it. But the poor mama needs love and support so much!

We lost our first two little ones and I became terribly depressed and suicidal. My family was not a very good comfort to me and husbands, as wonderful as they are, do not share the same emotions or hormonal experiences that women do. I'm glad you are seeking help and talking about your feelings! My best advice is to be very open about what you are going through. So many other people have experienced the same hurt and it helps to have others identify with you. If you know any other women who have experienced a MC ask them to check up on you. This Thursday will be the anniversary of the day we lost one of our babies. My friend and I are going out for dinner to celebrate that little life and remember it because it was important! I am now 30 weeks pregnant with our first little boy, but I still want to take the time to remember my lost babies because they were real children and my life has been forever changed by them.

Keep smiling sweetie! The sun will come out.
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