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Old 04-28-2013, 07:18 AM   #1
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When to put them together...

DD (5mths) will eventually share a room with DS (3yrs). Right now, she is taking consistent morning and afternoon naps (in her swing and pack n play respectively), and has recently begun going to bed in her pack n play. After she wakes to eat, she comes into our bed and cosleeps until morning.

We do a joint bedtime routine and I usually put DS into his bed first, then take DD back to my room to nurse her to sleep, so they're in bed within about 15 minutes of each other.

We had originally planned to keep her in our room until she was a year but I thought she'd be a needy sleeper like DS and I'd have to be with her anyway. Since she's sleeping well alone, we could probably move her before a year and I'd be able to use my room again. The question is, when to make the switch?

I could move her into DS's room sooner rather than later but I'm worried she's too small. We would talk to DS about not putting anything in her pack n play and he would almost certainly listen (he's very obedient about safety things) but I guess there's always that small chance he'd decide to "share" a stuffie or blanket...

So how old would DD be before you'd be comfortable moving her in there?

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Old 04-28-2013, 07:31 AM   #2
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Ours shared sometime under a year, with the older being 3ish. We've never had a problem. Ds slept through dd's waking after the 2nd night, and they both seem to sleep better in the same room. Ds never put anything in dd's crib, actually never showed an interest and was quiet when we put him to bed because dd was sleeping.
That being said, after a few weeks, dd would not go to bed without ds in the room. Like, she would stay awake in her crib for 30 mins to an hour waiting on him, so we just started doing a joint bedtime. They very very rarely keep each other up, which was my worry. It happens occasionally after a super charged fun day, but the fact that they are together doesn't seem to have anything to do with it.
Down side: it is a pitb to get either to sleep in a room alone anymore. They very much like the others company, even if they don't talk or play, just knowing someone else is with them at night. Kind of sweet, kind of sour if 1 is somewhere else at bedtime.
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:24 PM   #3
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Re: When to put them together...

Thanks for the reassurance! We are giving it a try tonight. We can always move her back if it doesn't work...
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:01 PM   #4
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Re: When to put them together...

When we relocated, we rented a 2 bedroom apartment until we found a house, all three of mine shared- a just turned 6yo, just turned 3yo and 6 mo old. There were never any issues, except they still want to all share a room now.
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:38 AM   #5
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How did it go last night? I hope it went well! Good point, you can always split them up if it isn't working and try again in a few weeks/months when everyone is more mature.
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:10 AM   #6
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Re: When to put them together...

It went well! She did wake up and nurse again about 30mins after they went down but she's been a little hungrier the last few days so that's not too surprising. Then she woke up around midnight and came to our room as usual. Eli was very excited to have her in his room! And I was glad to rearrange the furniture in there because I was bored of the layout. Now it looks cuter!
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:19 AM   #7
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Yay! I'm so glad it worked for you! Beyond a few annoying little kinks (ds slept until 10am before the switch, now they are both up and ready to play at 7!), I love how close they are, and after seeing alot of sibling rivalry in other families, it was really important to foster a close bond between them to us. This seems to help, even though they conspire against us more often ;-)
Dh and his sister shared a room until he was 10 and had more siblings and ils could afford a bigger house. He and his sis are the closest among the 5 to this day, even though we live thousands of miles apart, and his other siblings live very close together. For us, I think it will pay off in the long run, and hopefully they will continue to be close throughout their lives, because of the closeness when they are young. In my own family we never had to share rooms, thus never having to "live" with someone else in our space, and we don't have that bond that dh & sil have.
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Old 04-29-2013, 06:40 AM   #8
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Re: When to put them together...

I shared with my sister until we were 13 and 11. I remember wanting my own room at times but it definitely made us closer and was a positive experience overall. I want to foster a strong bond between these two because we will have to wait a whole to have anymore, so Eli will be considerably older than his potential youngest sibs and I never had much in common with my (6 years younger) brother.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:35 AM   #9
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I put dd1 and dd2 together when dd2 was 4 months. One in the crib, one in the bed. They learned easily to sleep through the other's noises. Dd1 was great with her. If the stuffies or blanket aspect worries you, you could wait another month or two. I moved them into the bed together when dd2 was around 18 months. Just this morning I put together the crib to use for dd3, she's 7 months old and moving in tonight with her older sisters. I do worry slightly about dd2 'sharing', but I know dd1 will keep her in line.
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Old 04-29-2013, 07:55 AM   #10
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Re: When to put them together...

I talked to DS about it and that should be enough. He goes right to sleep and slept through her wakings last night, and when he does wake at night, I doubt he will care what she's up to... and I will hear him through the monitor. I'm probably being a little paranoid anyway.
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