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Old 04-26-2013, 05:52 PM   #111
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

OP, I'm so happy someone was nice to you. I had a relatable experience once.

I was in the Post Office with my then 2 year old. She has always been busier than other kids, since birth. (I remember people telling me when she was 3 months old how they have never seen such and awake and aware child before.) Anyway, I'm standing in line and can't leave the line, my daughter decides to walk away from me and explore. It is okay if she stays close and I can see her. I had to keep talking to her not to touch stuff and remind her to to stray. (I stopped using strollers very early because she is too antsy and would scream in them). Of course, everyone looks at her. Some comment on how cute she is but some really give that LOOK.

The elderly lady in front of me simply turned around and said: I know what you are going through. I had 4. The first 3 were never busy, but that last one showed me I still didn't know anything about parenting. But hang in there, she is calm and integrated now at 55!

It lightened the mood and it was great.

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Old 04-26-2013, 06:10 PM   #112
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This made me tear up remembering how awful the first five months with ds were. It was so bad. I remember the looks and how judged I felt. He's my first, so no one believed me that there was something WRONG with this critter. Finally I switched him to non dairy against pedis direction and discovered he could actually be happy sometimes.

But remembering those months... No. No thank you.
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Old 04-27-2013, 05:25 AM   #113
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

I had a colick baby. Fortunately, I had enough help I never had to experience this. We just always left baby at home with family if he wasn't sleeping, and if we did take him out, it wasn't during anything urgent that needed done so that if he was inconsolable, we could always leave.

(((hugs)))
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:23 PM   #114
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

Yep, that was me. Dd1 had colic for 6 months and one day she did not have it anymore. At that time my SO worked 80 hours a week. I felt lonely and useless which lead to depression which lead to spending money. People would give me dirty looks and my neighbors thought I was neglecting her. Myneighbors made comments about hearing her scream and cry constantly. Everyone would give suggestions but nothing worked. My SO 's aunt spent a bunch of time with dd1 when we were at her house. Because her son had colic so she knew exactly what I was going through. Plus there were times strangers would also approach me and they too said they had children that cried all the time. I would get "bless your heart" or "one day it will stop" and even "do not worry someday you will enjoy motherhood". It was a long 6 months that is for sure.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:36 PM   #115
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

Hugs, I feel for you. When my son was around seven months old he went through a phase where he didn't like to be in ANYTHING that was remotely confining....including the carseat, carrier, grocery carts, strollers, etc. It was HARD....my little guy would scream his head off nonstop in any of the aforementioned, but I had to get things done, so it was a really tough phase that I muscled through, but man it IS tough. I had a particularly bad experience at the supermarket where my little guy was screaming his head off and I just couldn't comfort him.....some parent with two kids in his cart stopped in the middle of the aisle and told me that I shouldn't go out if I couldn't control my child. It was AWFUL and I felt so terrible....even though I knew this guy was completely out of line. My best advice is that it does pass and you just have to turn a blind eye to people who try to pass judgement. In the end it does make you a lot more empathetic.
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Old 04-28-2013, 12:16 AM   #116
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

What a kind post and reminder of how to be a thoughtful person...reaching out. Wonderful.
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:18 AM   #117
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

Once when DS was about 4-5 months old I was out shopping with my mom. He needed to be changed so I stepped into the bathroom that happened to be across the hall from someones office. DS hated laying on changing tables. So when I layed him down he immediately became hysterical. It only took me about 5 minutes to change him but the lady in the office came in 3 different times while I was changing him giving me a look as if I was torturing him. And too this day at 2.5 years old he is terrified of changing tables. At least he is starting to potty learn though because of automatic flushers he is terrified of public toilets :/
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Old 04-28-2013, 01:47 PM   #118
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Originally Posted by Farafonov
Once when DS was about 4-5 months old I was out shopping with my mom. He needed to be changed so I stepped into the bathroom that happened to be across the hall from someones office. DS hated laying on changing tables. So when I layed him down he immediately became hysterical. It only took me about 5 minutes to change him but the lady in the office came in 3 different times while I was changing him giving me a look as if I was torturing him. And too this day at 2.5 years old he is terrified of changing tables. At least he is starting to potty learn though because of automatic flushers he is terrified of public toilets :/
Put a piece of toilet paper over the sensor, worked great for my dd when she was scared of automatic toilets
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:55 PM   #119
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

Sometimes, little kind gesture means a lot to someone else.
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:09 PM   #120
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Re: Horrible mom at grocery store

I was one of those moms who looked at the screaming kid and then the parents and wondered why they wouldn't do something to make them stop screaming...until I had DS. When he was about 2 he'd cry (and by cry, I mean scream and cry and pitch a fit) the entire time I was in a store EVERY TIME. Nothing I could do would make him stop. Turns out he's got aspergers and looking back I realize that the noise and lights and so many people just put his body in sensory overload and he didn't like it.
DS still has bad days in public. About 6 months ago he had a raging fit when his sister didn't say excuse me after she burped. I was standing in line at BiLo paying for my groceries when it went down and everyone was staring at me. What was I doing? LAUGHING. I couldn't help it. All I could think was these people all think I'm the worst mom ever. but you know what? Sometimes all you can do is laugh. Those people will never understand unless they've spent a day in your shoes.
It's great that the woman was there in line and was a saving grace in your bad day. It's wonderful when things like that happen.
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