Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-29-2013, 06:42 PM   #1
*TinyJoys*'s Avatar
*TinyJoys*
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 914
To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

I just found out today that I will be able to have the midwife I wanted, and am very excited about this. Now, my husband and I need to make a decision. Do we have a home birth or hospital birth? For the record, I had a great all-natural med-free hospital birth with my son.

My husband doesn't want a home birth at all, he thinks its too much of a hassle. He's worried about the mess and clean up, and thinks it will be too much on our plates to have to take care of all that plus adding a newborn to the mix. Also, we're both concerned about what to do in case of emergency. We live in the country, and the closest hospitals I could deliver at, in case of emergency are about 35-40 minutes away. The closest children's hospitals are an hour away. It frightens me just a little to think that all those precious minutes could be wasted traveling.

I know if you have a low-risk pregnancy, everything will more likely work out fine but I want to be prepared. If anyone could offer input or advice I would really appreciate it! Is it really that messy? Is there really that much clean-up? What are (or were) your emergency care plans? Thanks!

Advertisement

__________________
Happily married to my first love . SAHM to 2 sweet boys. Missing my 8 week angel.
*TinyJoys* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-29-2013, 08:09 PM   #2
dressagemom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,310
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

I am planning my 5th homebirth in August. I can give you my input, take it for what it's worth.

Our first was a hospital birth. I wanted a HB, DH wanted nothing to do with that. It wasn't bad, but def. not what I wanted for my birth. When we found out we were expecting #2, I told DH that I was not going back to the hospital except in dire emergency. We interviewed MWs, and planned what we wanted. My second birth was so much better: more peaceful, calmer, faster recovery, better bonding with baby. Needless to say, we've never looked back.

We lived about 15-20 minutes from the closest hospital with our first HB. With our next two HBs, we lived in the country about 30-40 minutes from the hospital. DH was a little worried initially, but our MW reassured us that my previous births had been uneventful (not a guarantee, of course, but as precedent, my births are pretty low-key), all the vital signs were good, baby was in a good position, etc. She reminded us that she would monitor both the baby and me frequently during the labor and birth, and that most problems can be detected before it is an life-threatening emergency (obviously not all problems). She also pointed out that we were very close to an ambulance, should we need emergency transport. FTR, her transport rate is very low, like 2-3%.

With regard to your questions about mess and clean-up: our MW has a list of supplies and a protocol for how to set up for the birth. She handles most of the clean-up, so there is really nothing left for us to do. My mom loves our MW, and she has been at all our births; between her and my MW, my house is pretty clean after birth. The two of them also cook me a meal, make sure I have a freshly made bed, and a hot cup of tea. Basically, I do the work of labor and birth, and my support team does all the rest of the work. After the birth, I have a shower, a snuggle with my newborn, and then we (baby and me) take a nap together. Pretty low-key and easy on my part.

For emergency plans, it has always been understood that we will not transfer unless it is a true emergency. At that point, depending on the situation, we would either drive ourselves, or we would call an ambulance. We have moved again, and we are now within 15 minutes of the nearest hospital, so an emergency transport would not be difficult. Even when we lived in the country farther from the hospital, it still would not have been a deal-breaker, because we knew how to get there and our MW is well-versed in dealing with difficult situations.

I am happy to answer any more questions, just let me know. I suggest that you and your DH to put together a list of your concerns, and have a nice long chat with your MW to see how she handles various situations during labor and birth. It might give your DH a greater sense of peace to know better what to expect.
dressagemom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-29-2013, 08:12 PM   #3
nettepoet's Avatar
nettepoet
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: dirty jersey
Posts: 442
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

hi mama--in many ways i was in your exact shoes for the majority of this pregnancy, trying to decide on where my birth would take place since i had the caretakers i wanted (homebirth midwives) and they have hospital privileges. it was not an easy decision, and one i kept swinging back and forth with until last week. (and im 35 wks now!).

as background, my 1st birth was all natural med free in the hospital but definitely not great by any means. the birth itself was fast- no problems, but i did not like the care during or after labor at all and wanted to leave as quickly as possible. my 2nd birth was at home and though i did LOVE the care and the comfort of my own home, my labor stalled, my son was malpositioned (asynclitic), his heart started to decel, and i almost had to transfer. it scared me. a lot--i had what i would say was pretty much PTSD, then postpartum depression, and a big tear to boot. my baby was 100% fine.

fast-forward--where did i want to be, since the hospital experience was negative but then the homebirth was arguably negative, too? it took a lot of working through my fears, journaling, soul-searching, and watching videos to discover what i wanted in my heart and what i felt would be best for myself and my child. even if you have read and worked through the "birthing from within" book before, pick it up and work through it again! it has helped me greatly and i now feel confident and comfortable in my decision.

after my rambling, ill say that homebirth was not messy at all and my midwives cleaned up everything. i gave birth in the tub and i have no idea how they disposed of anything since i was in the comfort of my own bed cooing at my newborn with my hubby. they wrapped my placenta for me after checking it and stored it in my freezer. they made sure i ate, and then did all the dishes and put them away. they were like fairy godmothers or elves or the cat in the hat visiting as far as being able to put every single thing back where it came from, pack up, and disappear into the night like they were never there! my back-up plan was/is a bit easier than yours, i live within 10 min of 2 major hospitals.

your decision sounds like it boils down to comfort levels. trust your instincts and ask your midwives if you can hold off with your decision until you work through all of your questions and fears. good luck and i hope you have a beautiful birth no matter the place!
__________________
none on the boards, but feedback on LJ here: http://community.livejournal.com/mem...ck/128459.html
nettepoet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-29-2013, 09:12 PM   #4
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

There is really not much mess at all with a homebirth, at least in my opinion. I think that my husband did LESS with the homebirth because there was no leaving for the hospital, going back to get things that we forgot, going back to feed the animals, etc. You just stay at home and have a baby and the midwives clean up and then they or you throw things in the wash. You don't even have to worry about the carseat until after the baby is born! lol.

I can understand being concerned about the drive, but I think it depends on your birth history. Even if we had been that far away, I still would have chosen a homebirth because I was expecting a fast labor and I would have been afraid that we wouldn't make it in time. I was more comfortable with the idea of staying at home and having help come to me.

I thought having a newborn at home was a lot easier than in the hospital, with all of the interruptions, other people's babies crying, bad advice, jaundice checks and well-meaning but annoying visitors, etc. At home you just eat, feed the baby, and watch him/her sleep.
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-29-2013, 09:43 PM   #5
JennTheMomma's Avatar
JennTheMomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 7,820
My Mood:
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

I've had 2 homebirths, my last one was 9 weeks ago. I've never had to clean up any mess afterwords. My MWs took down the birth pool, put laundry in the washer and dryer, cleaned any mess, took out the trash, made me a smoothie and something to eat etc. The only thing I was required to do after birth was to lay in bed with my new baby and enjoy

I can't tell you if you should have a HB or not, but I think you should talk to the MW about it and let her tell you what she does/doesn't do after birth. To me a HB wasn't a hassle.
JennTheMomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 05:40 AM   #6
~Cricket~'s Avatar
~Cricket~
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 885
My Mood:
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

About the mess - never really had much here at all here. I've had three at home, planning a fourth. Two were waterbirths, and so all "mess" pretty much went down the drain. (I highly recommend water for labour and/or birth, by the way!) The midwives bring lots of blue pads, and advise you to put an extra set of sheets on your bed, over top of a shower curtain or something like that, so your mattress and clean sheets are protected. The sheets might get a bit of blood on them (mine haven't ever, actually) but you can easily pitch them in the washer, or use old nasty ones and throw them out. The placenta is usually put in a plastic container (like an ice cream tub) and you can do what you like with it - bury it or have it made into pills if you're into that. Or you can ask your midwife to dispose of it. Ours will take them to the hospital to be incinerated. The midwives leave the house when things are neat and tidy and in good order and you are well fed and resting. It's great! And then no one comes to wake you up and take your temp, etc., etc., and they don't take your baby away for anything, and you shower and pee in your own bathroom and rest in your own bed in your own pjs.
About the transfer - the chances of a last minute catastrophe are REALLY slim. Really. The midwives are well-trained in looking for trouble early on during labor, and they will transfer you in good time if that's necessary. And they are also equipped to deal with issues too - the time in transit and while waiting for the ambulance (if that would become necessary) will not be spent with them wringing their hands and wishing they were at the hospital! They'll be giving you and your baby what you need the whole time. For what it's worth, most homebirth transfers are for pain medication, and the rest are often precautionary (meconium in the waters, etc.) It's quite rare that a transfer is actually really a life or death situation.

The other thing is, hospitals are really dirty. They clean and clean, but they're still full of sick people, and other people's bodily fluids and germs. Floors, bathrooms, door handles, elevator buttons - it's gross. I hated having my other kids come to visit after the baby was born because they touched EVERYTHING and played on the floor, and put their hands in their mouths... Blegh. Home has only your own family germs.

Talk to your midwife about your concerns. My DH was a little reluctant to consider homebirth at first, but he trusted my judgment on the issue, and now he is the biggest fan. It's a great way to have a baby.
__________________
Me DH married for almost 14 years, parents to 7 small people, so far.

Last edited by ~Cricket~; 04-30-2013 at 05:49 AM.
~Cricket~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 01:53 PM   #7
raisingcropsandbabies
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,275
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

I would say respect your husband's wishes and have another great, all natural hospital birth.

And you have every right to be concerned about the distance from a hospital.... especially during an emergency when 5 minutes away from a hospital can be too far away. People can easily say the the chances are slim, but they are still there. And it's horrible to be that statistic. I recently read there was a gathering of statistics for the homebirth infant death rates in Oregon and Colorado. The increased rate was not pretty (8x and 3x higher than mortality rates in the same state's hospital). Judith Rooks did the data collection. You'd have to google it to read it. Anyway, if that doesn't make you think twice, I don't know what would. As far as it being rare that it's life or death... I'm not so sure. I know of 3 other women in my area who's baby died and the other 2 are severely brain damaged during their homebirth. All were transferred, none in time to be given treatment that might have given them a typical life. Time is precious.

I had a traumatic homebirth with my first son, for what it's worth, resulting in his disability.

I'm happy to hear your first birth was great. While not all hospitals are mama-baby friendly, they are around! I drive over an hour to get to mine.
raisingcropsandbabies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 02:11 PM   #8
~Cricket~'s Avatar
~Cricket~
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 885
My Mood:
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

There was just a large study done in Canada showing that homebirth with a healthy mother and a qualified midwife is just as safe as a hospital birth when you consider death or injury to mother or child, and has a greatly reduced rate of unnecessary intervention (that is augmentation of labor, having your water artificially broken, having an episiotomy, forceps delivery, or a c-section.)

It is a perfectly safe option. Birth can go wrong sometimes, true. But it is just as likely to go wrong at the hospital (perhaps for different reasons) as at home.

It's also horrible to be the mother who has a severely distressed baby because her labour wasn't "progressing" well at the hospital, so she was induced and then had a c-section, completely unnecessarily. And now will perhaps never get to deliver naturally again. There are countless examples of scenarios like that.

Over all, home is a proven to be a good place for a healthy mother and child to be.
__________________
Me DH married for almost 14 years, parents to 7 small people, so far.
~Cricket~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 02:19 PM   #9
~Cricket~'s Avatar
~Cricket~
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 885
My Mood:
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

Here are links to a news article reporting the study results (a good synopsis, and easier to read!) :

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/...me-births.html

And to the study itself:

http://www.cmaj.ca/content/181/6-7/377.full

What I find very interesting is that among healthy, normal women, the rate of problems is lowest for the homebirth mothers, attended by a midwife, next was hospital birth mothers, attended by a midwife, and the highest rate of issues was with a doctor in a hospital.

Not exactly what society believes about midwives, obs, and homebirths.

ETA - this seems to be causing some confusion. The study is comparing EQUAL groups of women - healthy, normal, full-term deliveries. We're not talking about only low-risk at home and low and high at the hospital. It's all low risk in this study. Otherwise the results tell us nothing, obviously.
__________________
Me DH married for almost 14 years, parents to 7 small people, so far.

Last edited by ~Cricket~; 05-01-2013 at 06:36 AM.
~Cricket~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-2013, 04:22 PM   #10
zandj's Avatar
zandj
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,818
Re: To Home Birth, or Not? Need Advice/ Input!

it's all such a personal thing, DH wasn't interested at first either, now after having had our second kiddo at home, our first homebirth he has said he would definitely do it again! it was so much easier for us than going to the hospital honestly, and my midwife came to me every visit! loved our homebirth!!
__________________
Mama to P 12.07 and baby Q born at home 9.30.12 <3
zandj is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.