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Old 06-15-2013, 05:22 AM   #11
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Re: how did you know you were done?

I've always wanted three. We were almost done at two, but decided to leave that option open. Pregnant with our third, and having mixed feelings, mostly due to really, really, relaly not wanting to go through hypermesis gravidarum and a csection again, and terrified by such a close age gap. DH is getting snipped during hte preganncy. We are DONE DONE DONE. I'm excited about being done and that he'll be snipped, and that after this next baby is weaned, my body is MINE!!!!!!!! To finally be able to lose weight and to not have a boob parana attached every waking moment and to never have to worry about pregnancy again. I'm looking forward to all my children getting bigger adn moving on to the n ext part of our lives. I might be sad after baby is here, especially because I am young and certainly watching other people continue to have babies may be hard, but I"ll be glad to be able to remind myself that we are done, done, done, and to look forward to the future.

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Old 06-15-2013, 05:41 AM   #12
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I was done with two. I'm now pregnant with #3. I did NOT want to add to the stresses of daily life I already go through. DS1 grates me te wrong way and is a really good intentional button pusher (so my mom says when she watches him with me). I wish I could get along with him... I prayed for him after all.
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Old 06-15-2013, 05:44 AM   #13
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I have an almost 5 girl and an almost 2 boy. My husband got a V a year ago.

We are now 40, which wouldn't be so bad, but my pregnancies aren't easy. I had HG for both, and that takes an emotional toll that I really can't handle again.

That being said, now that my son is almost 2, and his rough edges are smoothing out a bit, part of me wishes for one more. But a big part of me, like 75%, is so glad that it's no longer an option and that we made that wise decision a year ago.
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:03 AM   #14
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Re: how did you know you were done?

DH and I discussed kids before we got married. I already had one, and wanted 4 more for a total of 5. DH wasn't really comfortable with that and I knew that financially and practically, it probably wasn't a good idea to have more. So we settled on 3.

Then it took 6 years after we got married to get pregnant. And we weren't sure what was going to happen. We were trying again right after DD2 was born, but were sure that it wasn't going to happen without an IVF, so we were saving up. I was dealing with some PPD, there were issues going on..it SHOULDN'T have happened. But it did. And as soon as we got the positive test with DD3, we said we were done. But DH wouldn't go get the big V until after she was born.

At one point, he even said "I could maybe do one more." So we spent the next year NTNP, but slowly leaning towards being done. I started selling off baby stuff when she reached 1 yr. I could be content with 3 kids, 1 of whom was substantially older which left me a dynamic of 2 in the house. I was growing used to the idea of being done.

But, my body had other plans and within a few months of selling off the swing, the bouncy seat, etc, I was pregnant. DH was done as soon as DS was out and so was I. By 34, pregnancy was VERY not fun, we had a boy and 3 girls, and knew we couldn't afford more. We are done.

It IS still a bit bittersweet at times, knowing for sure he's my last. But I don't want to do pregnancy and babies anymore.
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:46 AM   #15
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When we only had 2 I had a feeling that I would regret not having a third later, when it was too late. We are expecting a surprise third kid and we are all super excited about it.
Even though it would be easier and cheaper to only have 2, I think a third will add something to our family that we would miss with only 2 kids.
After this kid we will be done. I will get back to getting my body back (I worked on this a lot last year), and look forward to all moving forward together as a family.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:10 AM   #16
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We had always planned on 1-2, so 2 was my upper limit anyways. And 2 just feels right. I am so excited about moving OUT of the baby phase and moving into the older ages where travel will be easier and we can do more fun activities, like museums, theme parks, etc. I'm done building my family and now want to focus on enjoying the family I have. Also, I don't look at pregnant women or newborn babies with longing anymore. I look at new or expectant moms and think "I'm glad that's not me!"

Also, logically 2 is right for us in more practical ways. Looking ahead to travel, activities, college, etc., two kids allows me to dedicate enough time and money to give them the life I want to give them. Not to mention that the world is kind of set-up for the 4-person family.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:42 AM   #17
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Arrow Re: how did you know you were done?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeysMomma View Post
When we only had 2 I had a feeling that I would regret not having a third later, when it was too late. We are expecting a surprise third kid and we are all super excited about it.
Even though it would be easier and cheaper to only have 2, I think a third will add something to our family that we would miss with only 2 kids.
After this kid we will be done. I will get back to getting my body back (I worked on this a lot last year), and look forward to all moving forward together as a family.
This.

i have two now and I just feel like one more would make our family more complete, even though two is easier, I always wished I had come from a family of three kids.....my husband says he is done, but i sometimes hope for a surprise, i am almost 30. i def think I have enough time, energy, and money, to add a third to our crew.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:57 AM   #18
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I just had #3. While I adore my baby, I'm looking forward to being done with babies. Just ready the next phase!
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Old 06-15-2013, 09:58 AM   #19
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Re: how did you know you were done?

I knew after DS3 that I was not done. DH was all set and everyone else was all set with me being done. I knew I still wanted 1 more. DH gave me a 2 yr window to decide whether I wanted another or not. He was all done when he turned 45 for sure. I took some time and then got pregnant with DS4. We cannot imagine life without him. At his birth, which was awesome, I knew I was done. I was ready to raise the family we created not add to it. DS4 is the best baby too and a great way to close that chapter of life. I got a tubal when he was 8 weeks old and do not regret it.

Other than nursing I have got my body back, lost all my weight, and am happy.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:31 AM   #20
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Re: how did you know you were done?

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Originally Posted by Melinda29 View Post
I was tired of the focus being on *building* our family and wanted the focus to be on *raising* our family.

I wanted my body back to myself. My husband was tired of sharing me.

I realized how stretched thin I am, just with my time. I don't want to give anyone just a fraction of my attention, and yet the reality is that the more there are of them, the less each one gets of me.

I love my kids dearly, but I am often very jealous of my twin sister who has only 2 kids. She can really focus on each one, their specific interests and needs. She can take them on vacations easily and not have a baby to work around. She can go to the pool and not keep them coralled in the baby section--she can even go into the deeper part with them, because she has one hand for each! She has time and energy to be a 4-H leader, which she loves, and to sing on her church's praise team. I have a new baby every 2 years and just can't work those type of things in, much as I wish.
This is one of the bigger reasons for our family. ^
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