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Old 09-18-2013, 01:42 PM   #71
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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I like Maybe Days too. I use to read it to my 2 oldest girls when they first came. They didnt understand the adoption part and were in denial that the parents did anything wrong so it was hard to get. I think they understand now.

We have a date Dec 12! TPR was done on the Kiddo in April on one parent and May on the other parent. We were accepted as the familly to adopt within 2 weeks of TPR. Between paperwork and what not we finally have a date Dec 12. We have not taken official placement of them...although they have lived with us for almost 2 years. But were told that will happen in Oct and can guarantee Dec 12 for adoption day. That is our county's Adoption day. We could do it in November but decided to wait and do it in Decemeber on Adoption day when they make a bigger deal out of it and more families are at the court house for the same thing! They are currently 2,3,5,and 6. It will be 2yrs in oct when they were placed with us.
We also have our own bio son who is 13. These kids already act like us and we often forget they are not biologically ours.
Wow awesome! 2 years is a long time. They told us that our case was going to be long, too, but no one can tell me what long means. I'm in Mi as well and I'm not sure if counties have different rules, I'm in Kent, but they said there was a huge lawsuit 4 years ago and one of the things is tpr needs to be decided by 12 months. We've had them 8 months and I still feel clueless of where we are in the case.

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Old 09-19-2013, 04:15 PM   #72
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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Wow awesome! 2 years is a long time. They told us that our case was going to be long, too, but no one can tell me what long means. I'm in Mi as well and I'm not sure if counties have different rules, I'm in Kent, but they said there was a huge lawsuit 4 years ago and one of the things is tpr needs to be decided by 12 months. We've had them 8 months and I still feel clueless of where we are in the case.

Im in Kent County too. The rule is suppose to be 15 months out of 22 months. They have to decide in that time period. But with the push for reunification so high they keep getting parents more and more chances. That being said moms rights were terminated at 22 months and dads at 23 months. The other sibs in this group with a different dad is going on 27 months with no rights terminated. The kids were in a different home before ours (except the 2 yr old). They need to move quicker on reuniting or terminating but they dont. Parents show a little improvement so they get 3 months more... and it goes on and on...sad just sad.
Where abouts in Kent are you?
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Old 09-21-2013, 12:58 PM   #73
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Ours is supposed to be 15 months, but our case dragged on for 40 months. In that time, he was reunified once at 30 months for 4 months, where he was neglected and dad went back to jail. When dad got out, they tried to reunify again but finally dad signed over. They never did TPR. The courts ignore the rules here most of the time.
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Old 09-23-2013, 12:55 AM   #74
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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Im in Kent County too. The rule is suppose to be 15 months out of 22 months. They have to decide in that time period. But with the push for reunification so high they keep getting parents more and more chances. That being said moms rights were terminated at 22 months and dads at 23 months. The other sibs in this group with a different dad is going on 27 months with no rights terminated. The kids were in a different home before ours (except the 2 yr old). They need to move quicker on reuniting or terminating but they dont. Parents show a little improvement so they get 3 months more... and it goes on and on...sad just sad.
Where abouts in Kent are you?
I'min Byron Center. So we can potentially have them for 2 years and then have to return them?!! Ugh! Why the push for reunification? Is there hard data that shows that kids that go back to bio parents turn out better then those that are adopted by a loving home? I'm all for reunification and would love to see a change in parents but change is difficult.
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Old 09-23-2013, 01:04 AM   #75
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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Ours is supposed to be 15 months, but our case dragged on for 40 months. In that time, he was reunified once at 30 months for 4 months, where he was neglected and dad went back to jail. When dad got out, they tried to reunify again but finally dad signed over. They never did TPR. The courts ignore the rules here most of the time.
That is just crazy!!! Can we do something? Not just as foster parents but as U. S. Citizens and tax payers. I mean you hear about the bad foster parents and kids going in and out of foster care but they don't tell you how we keep these kids, sometimes as newborns for years and then they get taken away and put back into a shady situation. I get why foster parents interrupt causing kids to go from foster home to foster home. You feel like you turn your life upside down caring for these traumatized children knowing in the back of your mind they may just go back home and get messed up all over again. Especially for things like bad habits that the children have. Ugh!
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Old 09-23-2013, 06:57 AM   #76
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

I would say yes you could have kids for 2 years and they could still go home. These kids have 2 older sibs that could still go home to dad.
So many kids that go home head back into the system within a year. Why cause the parents cant really do it. But they dont show that data.
I am for reunification if it is a good thing for the kids (my parents had one that is doing great and one that is not and may be back in the system) and we had it pegged.
There is a law in place but for some reason there are always exceptions.
I know our agency pushes reunification and I am sure others do because their grants rely on a certain percentage of kids going home. So no matter what bio parents deserve 2nd 3rd chances so they can keep these grants.
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Old 09-23-2013, 06:02 PM   #77
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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I would say yes you could have kids for 2 years and they could still go home. These kids have 2 older sibs that could still go home to dad.
So many kids that go home head back into the system within a year. Why cause the parents cant really do it. But they dont show that data.
I am for reunification if it is a good thing for the kids (my parents had one that is doing great and one that is not and may be back in the system) and we had it pegged.
There is a law in place but for some reason there are always exceptions.
I know our agency pushes reunification and I am sure others do because their grants rely on a certain percentage of kids going home. So no matter what bio parents deserve 2nd 3rd chances so they can keep these grants.
What agency are you with? I know my first placement went back home so quickly, I knew it was going to be hard for the parents so I tried doing things like buy them clothes for the next year sorted by season so they would have things like that already taken care of. They are now in foster care again. .
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Old 09-23-2013, 08:50 PM   #78
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Sooo.... My family has officially grown again today. We are now a family of 4 yet again!!! Myself+ my 3 littles. Bio dd 4 yo, dfs 4 mo, and newest bug dfd almost 2 mo!!!! Crazy crazy but always amazing

We've been waiting for this sweet girl since not long after she was born... She's finally weaned off of the morphine and snuggled up in bed at home right now. Yay!
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:44 AM   #79
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Re: August/September Chat Thread

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What agency are you with? I know my first placement went back home so quickly, I knew it was going to be hard for the parents so I tried doing things like buy them clothes for the next year sorted by season so they would have things like that already taken care of. They are now in foster care again. .

Bethany Christian Services.

Some cases go quick. Some do not. This case is one of the most complicated cases theyve seen yet. The judge said its the most complicated he has seen. It was a difficult case. Glad at least for my 4 its over. Wish it was over for all 6 but sadly the oldest 2 still wait in limbo. (we have 4 of a sib group of 6)
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