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Old 10-27-2013, 07:57 PM   #1
CntryMama
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Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I mean, does the desire to hold a baby, nurse them, sleep with them ever go away... I'm sure its all my post pregnancy hormones going crazy here but I keep thinking this is one less day with her... I dont want her to get bigger (though she does get cuter with time!). I just wonder if this feeling is ever going to go away, if not, how will I ever live knowing that we probably wont have more of our own (that is not a suicide thought, just sadness). I just wonder if I will ever be okay with it being over, baby days that is... Did anyone else have this problem? What did you do? I keep praying for clearity but my mind is a mess.

ETA: Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).

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Old 10-27-2013, 08:01 PM   #2
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Once your really done,you will just know it. After I had my 4th baby, I knew I was done. My dh on the other hand would like another one down the road.
I don't know though, for me, my body and mind feel complete, I have my two boys and two girls and I just feel ready to watch them all grow up.
I don't know if that will change in the future, my youngest will be 2 in January so it's been almost 2 years since feeling done and nothing has changed for me.
Good luck in your own journey, when it is really time to be done, I think you will just feel it.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:03 PM   #3
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For me it never did. Lol

But we knew our limits and DH had a vasectomy this year after a miscarriage. We have 7 kids so it is more than enough.

We may look into foster adopt down the line. But i want another baby everyday. But I do feel content as the days pass if you know what I mean.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #4
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It totally goes away when you are really and truly done and know it, at least it did for me. We were ttc #3 for awhile but at some point I realized that the thought of doing all that baby stuff again just made me want to run far, far away. I have no desire to nurse again, do the whole night rocking zombie thing, and I don't have any desire whatsoever to hold other peoples babies. When I'm with a group of moms and the talk turns to anything baby related my eyes glaze over and I lose all interest. I love the big kid stage and realize I am 100% happy to be done with babies.

I realize not everyone has such definite feelings of doneness and for a lot of people maybe they never go away. But for me, those feelings are completely gone, so yes, it is possible :-)
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #5
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I only have 2,but I know I am done. I am 36 and my kids are 4yrs and 9mos. After having my son this year, my body just feels tired. It could not handle another pregnancy or another newborn, so I know for sure I'm done.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:22 PM   #6
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I hope it will just pop for me. We are on #5 and I don't feel content saying this is the last. DH says he wants to wait a while after he is born before we plan on another one.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:25 PM   #7
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:25 PM   #8
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

I'm with you OP. I don't know if I'll ever feel that. I'm 32 weeks with my 4th boy so I think some of mine is that desire to have a girl. Dh and I were talking today about 'the next one' though so I am pretty confident we aren't actually done. Another of my concerns is pretty embarrassing but I LOVE the risk. Sex when I'm not pregnant is more exciting to me because I *could* get pregnant although we are always open to it, if being pregnant was bad in any way I'm sure I wouldn't feel that way. If dh ever has a vasectomy I worry that I won't get that exciting risk feeling, which I know has nothing to do with baby fever but it does play into me not wanting to be done. I figure I'll just know when I'm done or I'll know our limits (financial or whatever) and make the decision then.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:28 PM   #9
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I'm due with #3 in April and I am beyond done! I've had 2 high needs/non-sleeping babies. This pregnancy has been my hardest yet. My 3 yr old doesn't sleep through the night yet and we spend a lot if time addressing his speech delay. I'm tired! I'm an only child and giving my kids siblings was very important to me. Im sure I'll want another baby, but it's not going to happen! I've been nursing for 5 years straight and that has taken it's toll on my body. I've got another 2-3 years at least with this baby.
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:29 PM   #10
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Re: Will I ever feel like I am done having children?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof2cuties4ever View Post
Okay, what if you WANT another one but dont think you can have one I just dont know if I physically can handle it with all the heart medication adjustments and issues I have... So this is probably it and I just dont want it to be... I have no desire to adopt/foster (dont know why, just not me).
I have a friend like this. She's 38, got pregnant with #4, had a HORRIBLE pregnancy, then the baby died. She's in the weird place where she wants to have another but shouldn't risk her health (physical and mental.). She's been forced into baby making retirement and doesn't quite know what to do with herself.

It's been about a year and she's slowly adjusting to the idea of raising her family instead of growing her family.

Eta: they looked at fostering, but with the loss of the baby, they decided it wouldn't be good for their family. Every time a child left their home, it would just reopen the wounds.

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