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Old 10-28-2013, 06:36 AM   #11
mommy2abigail
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

Get rid of the pop and sweets. And as for the other stuff, try to get rid of any arbitrary rules. Like why wouldn't he be allowed to sleep with his costume? It's really not that big of a deal. When you catch him sneaking, punishment is only going to make it worse. He is sneaking because he isn't comfortable voicing his preference, asking for something, ect.
We've just always reiterated that we need to be able to trust each other, that we don't lie or deceive the kids, and don't want them to do that to us or anyone else either. We've been brutally honest with them, with others, ect. So, if I walk out of the store and realize I have a bottle of water under my cart, I always go back and apologize for my mistake and make it right. If we find money/a toy/a cell phone, we try as hard as we can to find its owner. We've contacted the cell phone company and mailed back a lost phone.
The only 'consequence' for sneaking is that mom and dad may not trust you next time. We haven't ever had an ongoing issue with sneaking, but if we ever do, I'll keep that child with me/in my line of sight all the time. Basically eliminate their ability TO sneak. Encourage them to ask for what it is they want, saying yes more often (at least for a time, and obviously not for dangerous things).
A kid has very little 'rights' if you think about it. He can't just go pick up a soda when he has a craving, and he isn't allowed to have one from his own house. They can't drive themselves to where they want to go like we can. They have very little control or input about how their days/weeks/years are structured. They don't always have a say in the millions of little things we are deciding not only for our own selves, but for them as well. So, think about it from his POV. If you had everything planned for you all.the.time, wouldn't you crave a little autonomy as well??? So maybe look at it less like 'sneaking' and more like trying to gain some control over his own little six year old world. So if possible, give him some control. If you allow candy, give him his own weekly allowance, his own bucket. If you don't allow candy, get rid of it. If its HIS costume, let him sleep with it, so long as he isn't using the weapons to hurt someone else, why not??? Give m freedom to choose his clothes, his food (within reason, so maybe say "alright, I need a veggie side for dinner, what do you want?") and what to do with his time sometimes.
I'll bet that if you stop punishing him (only going to make him even better at being sneaky so he won't get caught and get in trouble), give him a lot more freedom, and talk a lot about trust and how coming to you will not result in punishment, it will get a lot better. HTh.

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Old 10-28-2013, 07:12 AM   #12
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Re: Anyone have a child who is sneaky?

I limit juice, but buy juice packs for school lunches. My 8 yo tries to take them to practice all the time. Like, I had to pat him down the other day. The kid had 5 pouches in various pockets. All because mean old mom was making him take his water bottle.
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