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Old 05-19-2006, 08:03 AM   #1
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I'm going crazy!!

Ok, I know everyone says "when you're in labor, you'll know" or "when your water breaks, you'll know" but apparently that is just not true for some of us. When my first was born, I really didn't think my water had broken, I just wanted the day off work and one thing led to another so through a funny series of events I happened to get checked and found out that it had and that I was dilated and a couple of hours later I was holding my baby...no muss no fuss! The whole time I was in labor, I honestly felt like I was just constipated or having my period...not even the worst period of my life or anything like that...just uncomfortable (of course, the OB and nurses managed to make it worse for me, but left alone, I would have never guessed that was labor). Even an hour before my son was born, I was 6cm+ and the monitors were showing strong contractions 2 minutes apart lasting 90 seconds each, but I was trying to convince my dh to go back to work because nothing was going to happen anytime soon and I was chatting on the phone with my boss and one of my cousins. When it came time to push, I told the nurse I had to use the bathroom. She was insisting that I use a bedpan and I kept telling her I couldn't do what I needed to do in a bedpan so she checked me and told me that the baby's head was halfway out! Even then, I didn't feel like I was in labor...two pushes and then immense relief...the whole day of "constipation" was over.

So here I am 30 weeks pregnant the second time. I've been having pre-term labor symptoms since about 23 weeks and my midwife told me last week that it is getting very close. She's staying hands-off for now (at my insistence) and just watching, but she said that all the early signs are there and I should start progressing within the next couple of weeks (that was 1.5 weeks ago) and if I start to "go" before 34 weeks, she'll have to step in and stop me. I can live with that, but I'd rather her not interfere unless she absolutely has to. Every day that goes by right now is a bit of a relief knowing that my little one is cooking that much longer and has that much more of a chance of not having any preemie complications (my first was born at 34.5 weeks and we were EXTREMELY fortunate that he was completely healthy...so maybe I just have really short pregnancies?)

On the other hand, every day that goes by, I get that much more wound up in a knot wondering and worrying and thinking about the impending birth. Psychologically, I'm not ready yet...but I don't think another couple of weeks is really going to fix what's going on in my head at this point! The house is nowhere near ready...you can barely walk in the "baby's room" (my toddler cosleeps and the new baby will too...but still), all the baby "stuff" including the carseat, clothes, etc. are still in the attic and can't be brought down until I get cleaned up enough to even have a place to put them! Even though I know it's got to be done, we're not making much progress and I have a feeling dh will wind up getting in the attic to get at that stuff while I'm in labor or after the baby is born and it will wind up just getting piled on top of all the other crap that needs to be sorted through and put away...I don't see it getting done in the next few weeks. We need a new car...there's no way we can fit two carseats in mine! Again, we haven't even started looking or working on financing so I don't see that happening in the next couple of weeks. So even though we're SOOOO not ready right now, we're probably as close as we're going to get for the time being. And despite short bursts of "nesting" and frequent "panic attacks", I basically have no motivation at all to work on getting things ready.

The silliest part is that this is my second child so theoretically, I should know what to expect. And yet, every little thing freaks me out. Every time I start to feel a little constipated (I swear this baby has tied a knot in my intestines or something!!) I freak out wondering if it's the baby. Every time I start to feel a little damp "down there", I panic wondering if my water's broken or if I'm just sweating or if it's stress incontinence or what. This morning I had been sitting for a while and when I went to stand up, I got what felt like a runner's stitch in my belly and couldnt' stand up straight...I totally freaked wondering if that's what "real" contractions feel like! DH is no help because he's terrified of having to deliver this baby himself so he wants to run to the hospital at every little thing. I think I'm doing ok at putting on a good face and reminding him that if it's really labor, we'll know for sure in a couple of hours so there's no need to go running off to the hospital (again) for a false alarm, but inside, I'm thinking that last time, I never really knew except that the nurse told me and even so, I went from 3cm to holding my baby in about 2.5 hours and they say the second one is faster. I know it's silly...but every day that goes by it gets worse and worse...I'm losing my mind!!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent...am I the only one going through this?

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Old 05-19-2006, 09:54 AM   #2
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Re: I'm going crazy!!

I can SO relate to the "how am I ever going to get ready" part; I have the same problem. It's really hard to think and plan, let alone do, when there are limits to your time and energy. Especially in your situation, when you're worried about something happening every minute. Why don't you make a list and prioritize the top items? If you or your DH can get the carseat taken care of, then most of the other stuff doesn't have to happen so quickly. Think about it one small project at a time, and you'll be surprised at how much can get done.
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Old 05-19-2006, 12:28 PM   #3
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Re: I'm going crazy!!

Yeah, I can relate to the "how am I ever going to get ready" part too. I also had my first baby at 34.5 weeks and everything was fine. But I am convinced I almost went into labor 2 weeks earlier when I was stressing out stuck in traffic. Plus I had just found out my DH was going to have to have open heart surgery soon (done now - went great) and was worried he'd be in the hospital the same time I went into labor. Plus I worried about the risks and complications of his surgery. And my house was no where near ready either. I was so worried my DH wouldn't be able to be at the birth and also worried that my DS wouldn't get the chance to know his Daddy, etc. I think I basically stressed myself out so much worrying that it induced my labor. Everything worked out in the end (even getting the nursery ready). And I vow that next time around I am going to do whatever it takes to just relax and not worry so much. I'm not sure how successful I will be at that. But it's worth a shot!

Oh yeah, and my nursery was a TOTAL disaster area, but in one VERY focused weekend I was able to get it in good enough shape for starters. You'll still be able to get stuff done after the baby gets here. It may be more of a nuisance, but doable...

Good luck! Good baby-baking vibes are coming your way...

Stacy
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