Diaper Swappers

MamaZ · 05-29-2006, 04:32 AM

Wish me luck, I am writing to my DS bio-father to see if he will consent to my DH adopting my DS. Brief history: My ex (DS's bio-f) hid from me his past and when I was 7 months pregnant with DS, he went away to prison (assault of a 2 year old boy). Please do not judge me, had I KNOWN about this I would have RUN from this man!! I NEVER would have wanted to be near someone like this let alone marry or have a child with this monster. But I had no idea until it was too late

Anyway, my ex has been away since then and is not to be released until September of 2007 of which there will be supervised visits, etc. I am looking out for my DS's safety 200%! Well DH has asked me over a year ago if he could adopt my DS as his son.

My DS loves my DH and has told me that he doesn't want any other daddy but my DH (he's only 4 so that melts my DH's heart).

So I am sending the letter off today to ask him about this. Please pray for us and keep us in your thoughts that my ex will do the right thing and stay out of my DS's life. I know that sounds horrible, but considering his past and the fact that he is also moving out of state, he will never see my DS and I don't want my DS feeling like he was abandoned my his bio-f if he is sporadically going to pop in and out of his life. He has never been a father to my DS as he has never been in his life. Please mamas, I have recently been inspired by the power of prayer and I am hoping that this will go smoothly. I honestly do not know how he is going to take this letter when he receives it so I am hoping he thinks of my DS first and not thinking out of spite.

Thanks mamas. I will keep you updated on how it goes.

Be thinking of us

AttachedMama · 05-29-2006, 05:39 AM

Prayer really is an amazing thing and you'll be in mine.

I was adopted by my dad, but my mom only had to take out a tiny ad in our local newspaper to "notify" my biological dad..who didn't live anywhere near us so he couldn't possibly have seen it . I really think it's the greatest thing ever when a man wants to adopt a child that isn't his biologically.

I hope everything goes well

05-29-2006, 08:45 AM

we just finished the process. It depends on the state laws. You CAN fight to have his perental rights terminated. In MI its only $20 extra. It took us about 8 months from start to finish.

ZooCrew10 · 05-29-2006, 09:23 AM

Crystal, I'm from MI and both my ex's have given verbal persmission for my DH to adopt, but we just haven't had the money to even begin the process. Here in Oakland Co. it's at least $200 to submit the paperwork. How much did it cost you from beginning to end to do this, and if you don't mind, what county did you get it done in?

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystal

we just finished the process. It depends on the state laws. You CAN fight to have his perental rights terminated. In MI its only $20 extra. It took us about 8 months from start to finish.

MamaZ · 05-29-2006, 11:23 AM

I actually did fight for sole custody (especially since he is in prison and given what he is in prison for) but would you believe that the judge denied that?! We have joint custody. I was so shocked! They said unless he harms my DS, they cannot award sole custody to me!! The only way a parent can give up rights is if there is another parent willing to adopt and my DH is anxiously awaiting this

He so much wants to make DS officially his "son" on paper

He always considers him his son (heck they even look alike!

) In NJ it is $250 to file the complaint, depending on the adoption agency to do the checks and reports about $800. Plus the birth certificate stuff too. I was the paralegal in my law office that did adoptions so I can do it myself without an attorney

That will save us a HUGE chunk of change.

I'm so excited, I hope this works out to DS's benefit

SheilaJoy · 05-29-2006, 11:31 AM

If there was ever a case in which adoption like this would be a good thing, this is it! I have 2 from a previous marriage and I believe it's important that they are able to maintain contact with him as their father (even though he is a real loser). But in your case, your child is better off with your husband I'm sure!
I will be praying for your family, that your ex will realize that this is the best situation for your son. (Also mention that this will get him out of future child support payments).

AttachedMama · 05-29-2006, 12:03 PM

The child support issue is a big part in a lot of men giving up parental rights. (how sad is that?!) Hopefully that'll work in your favor!

SandyG · 05-29-2006, 12:06 PM

what you doing is awesome
i think his bio dad should never see him, i hope it goes smoothly
GOOLDUCK!!!

4kidzmom · 05-29-2006, 02:31 PM

Good luck!

05-29-2006, 04:32 AM	#1
MamaZ Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,119 Ratings: 120 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	DH adopting my DS Wish me luck, I am writing to my DS bio-father to see if he will consent to my DH adopting my DS. Brief history: My ex (DS's bio-f) hid from me his past and when I was 7 months pregnant with DS, he went away to prison (assault of a 2 year old boy). Please do not judge me, had I KNOWN about this I would have RUN from this man!! I NEVER would have wanted to be near someone like this let alone marry or have a child with this monster. But I had no idea until it was too late Anyway, my ex has been away since then and is not to be released until September of 2007 of which there will be supervised visits, etc. I am looking out for my DS's safety 200%! Well DH has asked me over a year ago if he could adopt my DS as his son. My DS loves my DH and has told me that he doesn't want any other daddy but my DH (he's only 4 so that melts my DH's heart). So I am sending the letter off today to ask him about this. Please pray for us and keep us in your thoughts that my ex will do the right thing and stay out of my DS's life. I know that sounds horrible, but considering his past and the fact that he is also moving out of state, he will never see my DS and I don't want my DS feeling like he was abandoned my his bio-f if he is sporadically going to pop in and out of his life. He has never been a father to my DS as he has never been in his life. Please mamas, I have recently been inspired by the power of prayer and I am hoping that this will go smoothly. I honestly do not know how he is going to take this letter when he receives it so I am hoping he thinks of my DS first and not thinking out of spite. Thanks mamas. I will keep you updated on how it goes. Be thinking of us __________________ ~Tiffanie~ Ashlee due April 18th Dylin (5/24/02) Amber (1/2/06) Autumn (8/31/07)

05-29-2006, 05:39 AM	#2
AttachedMama Registered Users Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 354 Ratings: 19 Feedback: 100%	Re: DH adopting my DS Prayer really is an amazing thing and you'll be in mine. I was adopted by my dad, but my mom only had to take out a tiny ad in our local newspaper to "notify" my biological dad..who didn't live anywhere near us so he couldn't possibly have seen it . I really think it's the greatest thing ever when a man wants to adopt a child that isn't his biologically. I hope everything goes well

05-29-2006, 08:45 AM	#3
crystal Guest Posts: n/a	Re: DH adopting my DS we just finished the process. It depends on the state laws. You CAN fight to have his perental rights terminated. In MI its only $20 extra. It took us about 8 months from start to finish.

05-29-2006, 11:23 AM	#5
MamaZ Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,119 Ratings: 120 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: DH adopting my DS I actually did fight for sole custody (especially since he is in prison and given what he is in prison for) but would you believe that the judge denied that?! We have joint custody. I was so shocked! They said unless he harms my DS, they cannot award sole custody to me!! The only way a parent can give up rights is if there is another parent willing to adopt and my DH is anxiously awaiting this He so much wants to make DS officially his "son" on paper He always considers him his son (heck they even look alike! ) In NJ it is $250 to file the complaint, depending on the adoption agency to do the checks and reports about $800. Plus the birth certificate stuff too. I was the paralegal in my law office that did adoptions so I can do it myself without an attorney That will save us a HUGE chunk of change. I'm so excited, I hope this works out to DS's benefit __________________ ~Tiffanie~ Ashlee due April 18th Dylin (5/24/02) Amber (1/2/06) Autumn (8/31/07)

05-29-2006, 11:31 AM	#6
SheilaJoy I grow people Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 4,322 Ratings: 163 Feedback: 100%	Re: DH adopting my DS If there was ever a case in which adoption like this would be a good thing, this is it! I have 2 from a previous marriage and I believe it's important that they are able to maintain contact with him as their father (even though he is a real loser). But in your case, your child is better off with your husband I'm sure! I will be praying for your family, that your ex will realize that this is the best situation for your son. (Also mention that this will get him out of future child support payments).