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Old 05-11-2006, 12:45 AM   #1
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5 YO PT regression

Let me say, there has been a LOT going on in our lives latery. between planning a move, and losing the baby, life has been turned upside down, so I am not trying to be hard on my lil one.

Here is the scoop. Samantha is 5 years old. almost 5 1/2 and she has been the hardest kid on teh planet to get PT'd. She saterted at 2 and then i was put on bedrest with emma. and tht stopped. and i was OK with that. then she started again at like 3 and 2 months. she has done OK with pee during the day, and has been on and off about poop. Well she had been doing really well. like 1-2 poopy accidents a month ( i know that is a LOT but that is good for her) I know she tries to hold it back for fear she wil lmiss something, then she jsut cant anymore. We taught her how to proeerly clean her self up and clean out her panties and put hte wipe and panties in the diaper pail. It is 100% her responsiblity. Well voer the last 2 weeks, ( about 2 days after baby died) she has pooped her pants at least 2 -3 times a day. I just cant handle this. I am trying really hard to just be matter of fact about it like, go clean up and change, but now i am really frustrated. I just dont know what to do. I never in my life would have dreamed this type of issue with her. She is so smart about everything, and gets things very quickly. She does NEED a TON of attention and get jealous very easy if we are talking to one of hte other kids. She needs to be apart of every convo, or treat, everything. I have taken her to the ped and they have ruled out any meidcal reason for this.
She wets the bed and i dont care. she wears a sposie pull up since i dont want her to sleep in a wet bed, and I cant keep up with the sheets laundry. I dotn care if she has to use a pull up until she is 12, but this poopy business is bad. She poops more than my kid in diapers.
Any ideas?? this is a huge struggle for me. I do not demand perfection at al in my house, but I do think my 5 yo needs to stop pooping her pants daily...

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Old 05-11-2006, 02:17 AM   #2
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

Look up encopresis, then I suggest you talk to her pediatrician and see what they suggest... if they agree that it could be what you are dealing with.

I don't talk about it much online, but DS has this and it's a very frustrating thing to deal with... it's more common in boys for some reason than girls, but I'm right there with you dealing with a 5 1/2 year old who seemingly isn't fully PT'd.. and it's frustrating. Things *have* improved over the past year since I brought it up with our ped, but I have a feeling this will be something we're dealing with for a LONG time.

DS is also a bed-wetter, and I'm 100% unconcerned about that as well, because I was until almost 7, and so was DH... but the two "problems" if you will, are completely unrelated
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Old 05-11-2006, 07:14 AM   #3
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

I am so sorry to hear about your problems with DD and her PT. I too have a needy one, when it comes to attention. He was a late PT, wasn't fully until he was past 3. He is 4 now and when our newest was born, he started peeing on the bed. Not wetting the bed at night, but actually standing up on his, or his older sister's more commonly, mattress, pulling down his pants and peeing. I think it was a way to get attention, and to feel like he was in control, when so much of my attention was taken up with the baby. So I put him back in a diaper, just for a day. I didn't tease or hurt his feelings about it, I just told him that it was his decision whether to wear the diaper or not. If he chose to pee on the bed, carpet, blankets... then he was choosing to wear the diaper. Before that, we had used his new birthday toys as leverage. Pee on the bed, get a toy taken away, that sort of thing. This worked for a while, but the diaper thing really got him. I think he knew that he was in charge, it was his choice whether to have that diaper on, or use the toilet. I knew it was a risk, he is kind of bullheaded, and he might have just said, fine, I'll wear the diaper. But as it turns out, he really didn't like that diaper.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, I hope this might give you some fresh ideas to think about. It is very frustrating for us as parents when something happens that we have no control over. But Samantha probably feels like she has no control over what is going on in your lives right now either. It may help her to know that this, her poopy pants, is something that she can control, and that you would like her to, and then offer the appropriate reward or punishment, depending on what works best for you and her.

I'm rambling again, so I'll quit, and prayers from here...
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Old 05-11-2006, 08:51 AM   #4
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

Thank you for the posts.
This is very frustrating. My ped ( who i absolutely adore, and so do my kids) was out of hte office yesterday and they are going ot talk to her today about what is going on and call me back. ( although im not fond of the staff so i may have to make another call LOL) I do think this is a control thing, but i am willing to look into other things.
as far as putting a diaper on her i just cant... I have a horrible memory of my dad putting a diaper on my when i was a young child, maybe 5 or 6 becaseu I too was a bed wetter. 90% of hte women in my family were because of kidney/bladder issues. I still feel the trauma when i think about that. and i cant beleive I remember that. BUT my dad was very belittling, and not supportinve and he teased me so maybe that was the difference.
I hate talkling bout this, because for one i feel like a failure in not being able to pt my 5 yo, but also I feel bad for samantha, like she will rerad this and get her feeling hurt, ( she doenst read this well I know) This is one of htose days I feel like a bad mom...
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Old 05-11-2006, 10:19 AM   #5
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

wow, my ped shocked me and called me when I was on the way to drop dd off for school. She is sending us to urologist to have her checked out. She says it is very possible she has encopresis. but there are other things it could be as well. i told her about the encopresis and said " but she enver seems to be constipated" and she said " most families say that" So I wil lbe getting a referral later today. (Thank goodness I have a ppo, so I dont have to wait 4 years for a referral to be apporved. )
Thank you all for your help. It makes me feel better that it is not her being lazy or acting out. and that it is likely a medical issue that we can resolve with diet and possible medicine if needed.

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Old 05-29-2006, 07:38 PM   #6
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

hugs to you and Samantha
That's alot to go through for a little girl (and her mama too). it sounds emotional in nature.....though I think you should have her see the dr......maybe a classical homeopath can find a remedy to help ease her stress. you sound like a great mama!
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Old 05-29-2006, 08:30 PM   #7
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

I have to completely agree with pp that I think this is emotional in nature.....

It is very common for kids that are "newly" PL'd to regress when faced with emotional stress. Though she may not fully understand your dc's passing, she still senses that mommy is sad and that the dynamics have somehow changed...Bodily functions are one of the few things that a toddler or young child have control over. I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through and I hope that you can figure out what is causing this newest issue and remedy it. HUGS to you mama! I am a lurker normally, but you are in my thoughts OFTEN and will continue to be.....
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Old 05-30-2006, 06:57 AM   #8
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Re: 5 YO PT regression

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