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Old 12-22-2007, 01:15 AM   #41
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

I'm sorry you have "friends" like that. I am lucky all mine support what I do.

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Old 12-22-2007, 01:23 AM   #42
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

I feel you mama. The crowd I hung out with before I got pregnant wasn't really the responsible type, but at first when several of them got pregnant I thought it would be cool and we could all have playdates or whatever. Now, I honestly feel really awkward around them because they are still always wanting to go get wasted or hang out at the bar, and I'm more like "Hey guys lets chill at home and let our kids play!" Nothing like having kids to make you realize the differences between you and your friends, eh?

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Old 12-22-2007, 08:35 AM   #43
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

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Originally Posted by brighteyes mom View Post
One mama friend of mine is TOTALLY opposite and she'll talk sh*t about one of our other friends... she only eats local meat and buy all organic and stuff, but my friend didn't realize that I'm the same type of person as she was just putting down.
I don't mean to sound critical because what I'm about to say is something I struggle with for myself. But it sounds like you keep quiet while this friend puts your other friend down. Why not stand up for her? And for your own viewpoint?

I am really, really non-confrontational so I'm scared of being unpleasant by disagreeing with someone. But I think a lot of times that's because I'm insecure in some of my opinions. When I'm really confident about something I can defend it calmly.

Might be better to argue with this friend and give her the chance to learn to respect your viewpoint, than to just bottle it up and resent her.
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Old 12-22-2007, 04:16 PM   #44
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

I live in the area where LLL started, I was in a group 10 years ago with my 1st dd, even became a board member. But, now in that same area, I cannot find a single mama that is like minded that will accept me for who I am. My religion is the big kicker around here. And I don't cover up while nursing, mainly cuz dd won't nurse if she can't see what's going on. So, I totally understand what youare talking about. Plus, who wants to hang out with someone who talk smack about their "friends"? I certainly don't because that means that I cannot trust that person. However, that doesn't mean that I won't associate with my friends that aren't likeminded, only the two-faced ones should be avoided. I am very fortunate that my family has figured out that they are wasting their breath when speaking cross of my childrearing. I know that where the mama that started this thread lives there are huge groups that practice as she does. (Used to live up that way) So maybe it is time to look in a different area up there...
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Old 12-22-2007, 04:41 PM   #45
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

I dont generally hang out with women period. I dont like the back stabbing / whining / bickering crapola. I do have one friend that we share some parenting interests, but we dont cram them down each other's throats. I BF, she doesnt, I did CD, and she didnt. My whole life does not revolve around parenting advocacy. What works for me, works for me. I also find that I dont get along well with people that take EVERYTHING so seriously. A good sense of humor makes for a good friendship.
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Old 12-22-2007, 10:30 PM   #46
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

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Out of the 11 friends of mine who have had babies in the last 2 years, I was the ONLY one to breastfeed except for one mama who had her little girl 2 months after I did. That's reason #1. Reason #2 is I'm THE only one to cd. Reason #3 happened today, when I was talking to a mama friend with a now 14 month old dd about what we were doing as moms, our philosophies and practices and whatnot. I told her I was bf'ing dd, and she asked how long I was going to do that. I replied however long dd wants to, to which she said, "You're NOT going to be one of those women breastfeeding a toddler are you, like a 2 year old?!" I was as surprised by the question as she was horrified by my answer. I told her I would nurse a 4 year old if that's what the 4 year old wanted! But I really resent her even saying that. She's the kind of woman who wouldn't breastfeed because she was afraid of "ruining" her breasts and honestly is too selfish to bf because she would have to give up drinking and partying all the time. Later in the conversation she was talking sh*t about another mama friend of ours and had the nerve to say, "that's why I don't hang out with her. I have a hard time hanging out with mamas who I don't feel are doing the right thing for their kids." Which is EXACTLY how I feel about her!! Sorry this is long, I just needed to vent. You would think you would get at least a LITTLE support from the people you call friends. At least you should be able to count on them to not be totally rude and keep their mouths shut.
omg I was like me too! to this all and then realized we live in the same area!!!! When I go home people are nice and keep their opinions as their opinions. Here the moms feel the need to point out what I'm doing that's "insane" I feel yah
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Old 12-22-2007, 10:56 PM   #47
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

Butthead. I like that I've never had a friend make any negative comments about bf'ing or cd'ing. I get the crap from my family!
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Old 12-23-2007, 01:57 AM   #48
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Re: Why I don't hang out with other mamas

oh my goodness! I'd hang out with you sorry people around you are so ignorat!! I do have babysitters at my MOPS group who seem to think the cds are a little strange but they are nice about it..
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