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Old 01-22-2010, 12:41 PM   #1
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Is it just a crazy dream or selfish?

I have always wanted to adopt, I have two biological boys and my husband and I have two biological girls. After my youngest child was born c-section I made a horrible decision to have a tubal done. I have considered doing a tubal reversal and very well could but I have a strong urge to want to adopt instead.

Now here is the thing, I am almost 25 and am finishing my grade 12 right now (made a horrible mistake to drop out) and will be in a nursing course at the university next fall which is at least a 4 year program which will bring me to 30. DH will be 39 this year so when I am ready to adopt he will be 44.

Here's the thing once I am into nursing I know we could give the kids the best life possible, will be building a bigger home, getting new vehicles, the kids will have good education savings etc.

But will we be too old to adopt? My youngest will then be 9 when we would be adopting, would it be selfish to start over then?

I can't foster, I just can't handle the kids leaving after we have had them with us for a long time and begin to love them so much and then never see them again.

So please give me your honest opinions, is it a bad idea to adopt at the ages we will be? Will it be selfish to start over when our kids will be youngest 9? What would you do if you really wanted another child but knew it was best to wait until your nursing education was done? I just don't feel complete


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Old 01-22-2010, 01:39 PM   #2
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Re: Is it just a crazy dream or selfish?

I absolutely do NOT think it's selfish. I have several friends who are in their 30's or 40's and are parents and they are WONDERFUL parents. You're so courageous mama and you'll give a child a beatiful, wonderful home.

Congrats on completing school btw, I also dropped out and ended up with my GED at 19. Now I'm almost a Junior at a private, Lutheran college to become a teacher You're a brave mama!!
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Old 01-22-2010, 03:46 PM   #3
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Re: Is it just a crazy dream or selfish?

I'm 30 and just got licensed to adopt from foster care. I definitely don't think 30 is too old! I'm just now feeling old enough to be a parent. I also don't think 44 is too old, especially if one parent is still young and spuky! If you are concerned about a large age gap, you could always adopt an older child from foster care, like a five year old.
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