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Old 11-25-2010, 01:43 AM   #11
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

My 1st is autistic and has SPD. My second has a severe milk allergy. My third is a very small child, but otherwise healthy, According to her size she has dwarfism, but genetically, hormonally, and nutritionally she is normal, so we believe she will grow in time. I am currently expecting my fourth.

I knew with my first that she wasn't "normal" before I ever conceived my second and was totally certain that something was very wrong prior to number three coming along. I now have a diagnosis and yes I still am having number 4.

I feel that one day I will not be here to be an advocate for my daughter. So I am leaving people behind that will be able advocate for her, if she was unable to do so herself. Plus there are enough that it wouldn't have to be an overwhelming burden on one sibling. In my case, my daughter is going to be able to live on her own, but will need some interaction in her life from those that care about her.

Plus, I wanted a certain type and size family. I decided that even with a special needs child, it was worth it to me to have the family that I wanted. So that is what we are doing.

I was a teenager when my parents adopted a severely handicapped child and I do not feel that her being in my life was a detriment. I feel that I learned compassion and understanding from the time that I spent with her. I hope that my own children can learn those same lessons from our collection of "specialness."

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Old 11-28-2010, 07:55 PM   #12
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

My DD2 who is 10 now was born with SB, it took DH and I 6 years to get the courage to try again. We did not do any genetic testing or anything. But I did take the higher dosages of foliate acid 4 months before we even started to have another. Our 3rd was born with no SB or any other special needs.
I was a bit nervous because by first was born with a bad lung (genetic emphysema) and had to have part of her left lung removed at 8 months old.
If you have anymore questions feel free to PM me
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Old 11-29-2010, 06:01 AM   #13
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

My son has autism, spd, non typical adhd, severe food allergies, not to mention has had multiple surgeries on his eyes and ears to fix other non related issues. I was stillp lanning to have more children. My second wasnt planned but I knew I intended to have more children just not at that time. He has severe GERD and at a year old vomits at least once daily for no apparent reason. Yet he seems to be developing right on track.

Will I have another yup I want a girl I inted to try to conceive at some point again.
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Old 11-29-2010, 03:47 PM   #14
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

My 2nd and 3rd are twins with spina bifida and hydrocephalus, they are both in wheelchairs and have limited bladder/bowel control. We had our 4th when they were 4 and I don't regret it for a second.

I had the triple screen test with her and it came back "positive" for Downs, I then declined the amnio because I had already had a level 2-3 ultrasound that looked normal.
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Old 11-29-2010, 09:12 PM   #15
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

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Originally Posted by Mama'sPocket View Post

I feel that one day I will not be here to be an advocate for my daughter. So I am leaving people behind that will be able advocate for her, if she was unable to do so herself. Plus there are enough that it wouldn't have to be an overwhelming burden on one sibling. In my case, my daughter is going to be able to live on her own, but will need some interaction in her life from those that care about her.
sorry, i had to quote this. I am the only sibling that will take care of my bother. he is autism/Aspergers and mild Mental Retardation, he also shows schizophrenic properties.

when my mom passes i will be left to care for him. i will do my best but i know that it won't be nearly enough and it would be a big help if my half siblings step up and help out when that happens. but to be honest, i don't see it happening. i try not to think about it, because that means my mom, my best friend, won't be with us anymore............ but i'm also trying to learn everything i can about his disorders and how to manage his care when that happens.

and he does live on his own, but needs assistance for alot of things.

oh and i'm the accidental younger sibling.
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Old 11-30-2010, 12:59 AM   #16
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

I struggled with the decisions of whether to do genetic testing. We are expecting our first in April. We don't have any family history of the things they test for, but there's still always the chance. I think if I knew there was a certain percentage chance of a specific condition (especially one I knew a lot about and had experience & felt comfortable with) I would go for it. There's no way to regret a baby, and if it's your own baby it's your own little miracle. I may feel different if I knew it were a very high chance or if it was a severely debilitating condition that drastically affects qualify of life.

I think the difficult part would be explaining to people if you ended up with 2 kids with the same genetic condition. There would be all sorts of prejudice and assumptions that you "knowingly" brought this child into the world "defective" or even took the risk. I wish people could see how beautiful all children are and that each one reaches their own potential in their own way (I have lots of experience as a nanny for wonderful special needs children, and am a therapeutic foster parent who sometimes works with DD kids).
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Old 12-07-2010, 11:56 PM   #17
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

i didnt know my son had autisum till he was 4. we knew he was delayed & was already going through a lot of therapys. (speach,occupational,special instruction,ect...) when we found out we already had r second childed & was exspecting r third. now we have added r forth addition & i really see alot of good out of it for him. all of r other children r deloped normally & my 10 mo old walking. lol my dh & i r fine w/ adding more children from what we have see in r own experence on how much it has helped jake grow.
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Old 12-09-2010, 02:43 AM   #18
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

I have 2 little boys, both have epilepsy. With DS1 they suspected it was genetic, but we couldn't afford the testing. When we made the decision to get pregnant again, we were told we had a 50/50 shot of the next child having the same problem. When DS2 started having seizures our neurologist had the genetic testing paid for and confirmed that the boys have benign familial neonatal convulsions inherited from their father. Other than the seizures, both boys are relatively healthy...though DS1 has a speech delay, and I have a feeling we'll be getting a sensory processing disorder diagnosis in the next few months. Despite all of this, we're still thinking about having a 3rd.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:44 AM   #19
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

My family has a genetic issue called "Polycystic Kidney Disease". The fatal form that gives any boys you carry a 25% chace of dying shortly after birth.
My older brother died of it 3 hours after his birth.
My cousin died of it one day after his birth.

Girls are only carriers, not affected by the gene. I carry it.
We still chose to have kids. We did find out the gender at 20 weeks, and kept an eye on kidney function throughout pregnancy with both boys. If they had found an issue, my boys would still have been brought to term(we declined all other testing for other issues) as we believe that all children deserve a birth no matter what their chances of survival/prognosis. So even if they had had the fatal form, they would have been born no matter what(even with Downs, spina bifida, etc).
Our older son happens to be Autistic. It was my biggest fear when I was pg, I could handle ANYTHING else BUT that. I think he is here to show me how silly that was. You fear the unknown, not some little kid who can't communicate. He taught me way more than I ever taught him
Our youngest had inherited infantile seizures(we had no idea they ran in my hubby's family until AFTER he had been DX'd at 4 months of age) But that's a whole 'nother thread about my MIL altogether!! LOL! I see the above poster has the same DX'd condition in her sons, I wonder if they will outgrow it too? My son did at 22 months.
We still would have had children either way, knowing or not knowing. How could you not?
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Old 12-09-2010, 02:15 PM   #20
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Re: Anyone have another baby after their special needs child?

What genetic testing? For Autism? I've never heard of it. I mean, I heard a rumor a year or so ago that they might be doing something at some point, but that's it. My son has Autism, too.

OP - YES!!!!!! Two, in fact, and more planned. My son has Autism. My older daughter is only 13 months younger, so we didn't know about it when we had her. But the baby is 5 months old, 3 1/2 years younger than her brother. Yes, I was worried when she got fascinated by the fan in the window, but you know what? I love them all anyway! (And no, she's not Autistic. Not when her sister can wake her up with a kiss and I can't even yell because the baby showed she was awake by GIGGLING! And she's already CRAWLING! DUDE!)

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Originally Posted by lullaby80 View Post
We just had another one last Monday. DS#1 has autism. We went through genetic testing but didn't hear back yet and quite frankly I don't even want to know. Pediatrician looked very worried when we told him we're having another one (I think half of my family is somewhere on the spectrum so that's where his worries come from). We didn't want another child for a long time but luckily got the baby fever combined with a snow storm last winter and here were are. Couldn't be happier. I'm definitely keeping an eye out on the "weird" stuff with this baby, with DS#1 you could tell right away that something was off. This one seems a bit more mellow and not as set to a routine - yet. So we'll see what happens! Anyway, I guess my point is that we couldn't be happier with our decision to have another one. We feel more like a "real" family right now and are head over heels in love with our boys.
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