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Old 01-20-2009, 07:40 AM   #1
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The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

My son turned 2 this past November. He is a bit behind in vocabulary [we are having all the evaluations from Early Steps Intervention].
In the meantime he has started this hitting DH or I when he is frustrated or wants something.

First, is hitting "normal" like this at this age? I'm assuming it is because he doesn't have the vocabulary to properly convey to us what he is feeling/needing.

I try to "label" everything with words. "Do you need something?" "I see you are upset/frustrated." "Do you want milk/water/snack?" He understands these things.
Oh and I will say "Show me" and usually he'll take me by the hand.

Also, as an AP'ing mama do you have any advice on how to properly handle this hitting? Of course I'm not going to spank him and say don't hit..[which what was recommended to me by an insane person ]...I thought to myself, what does that say if I hit him and tell him not to hit

So right now I'm just continuing to ask what he needs, etc and I do say "Please do not hit mommy/daddy because that hurts. Ouch] He doesn't always stop though until we can find the source of what he needs.

Oh he also does this screaming thing too when he wants something. Hopefully it will be easier as he learns more words!!

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Old 01-20-2009, 08:49 AM   #2
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Re: The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

I agree, it sounds a lot like he is frustrated because he cannot communicate his needs/wants. Have you tried teaching him some signs? He might pick it up really quickly since he's already two. I know lots of mamas who sign start right when their babies are like 6 months old, but I didn't start 'til dd was over a year old, and I found it very useful (she was a bit slow starting to talk). We used the signs for 'nurse', 'water', 'eat', and 'more'.

As for the hitting, I think you're doing about as much as you can, with the "no hitting, that hurts mommy" line. If you can teach him to communicate better, the hitting might go away on its own. GL.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:24 AM   #3
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Re: The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

My son will be 2 in April, and although he is probably ahead with talking, he still gets frustrated and hits and had even bitten. I think it's a completely normal phase, and when your son's vocabulary increases he will stop hitting- instead he'll yell at you . My DD went through a very similar phase at that age and now at almost 4 she rarely hits. Now she will yell "I am angry" and storm off to her room.

It sounds like what you're doing is appropriate- using your words to help identify his feelings. With DD we bought a few books that talk about feelings. A really good one is "When I'm Feeling Angry" by Trace Moroney. We also really like "Hands Are Not For Hitting", can't remember the author.

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Old 01-20-2009, 09:36 AM   #4
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Re: The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

We are having the hitting here too. DD turns 2 on Saturday. She is driving us nuts! We are doing time outs for it.

My big frustration is throwing things, and instead of playing, she just dumps the toys on the floor. She used to sit for twenty or thirty minutes playing with Mr. Potato Head. Now she just throws the whole bucket on the floor. Same for the blocks, and her play food. It is making me nuts!
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:58 AM   #5
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Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
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Re: The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

I'll try the signs again...I did it for months when he was younger and he would do a couple [non-useful ones like fan and fish! ]...now he just looks at me and laughs when I do it! lol..

Oh gosh yes!! David throws things too!!!!!
This is a tough age..
Although I'm not looking forward to the yelling at me phase! lol
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:14 AM   #6
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Re: The 'terrific twos'...is this part a phase in your experience?

For the hitting thing it almost always happened(I say happened but he does still hit occasionally even now) when one of us were holding him. We'd tell him no, and put him down. Since he loves being held that was more than enough punishment for him and he, for the most part, has stopped hitting now.
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