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Old 08-11-2010, 10:12 AM   #61
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Re: A good reason to circ?

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Originally Posted by snic_1982 View Post
Im not sure if you are referring to my son or not..... if you are i have a few responses.... he was not born with an "intersex" condition..... he always had a penis - it was tucked behind the fat pad, with a small portion exposed. As far as leaving it the way it was - and waiting until htey were old enough to consent, as much as i dont picture my babies having sex, the reality is, at some point they will want to. and knowing my child would not have been able to - it seemed pretty clear to me it was going to be repaired. And I doubt he would have been comfortable having erections underneath his skin either..... Sorry to be graphic but i have to say ladies, im a little disappointed with the judgement here. normally i dont feel judgement on DS, but the "if i ever had a child like this i would do that.." really? how do you know? have you been in that situation? theres a lot of things i thought i would have done differently prior to being faced with the situation..... and it wasnt a walk in the park for us either. im not getting into the gory details but as i mentioned before we researched plenty prior to the surgery and had a few consultations. we decided to do it early because a- we didnt want him to remember it, b- so it would be the way it would be for the rest of his life prior to potty training. wether or not you agree with it, its up to you. I dont appreciate the judgement though on such a sensetive topic - and please do not tell me what you would or wouldnt do, and how much you know from the almighty truthful internet. You DONT know what you would do until you are faced in the situation, and the internet is not always truthful, accurate, etc. The funny thing is, i dont have strong beleifs for either pro or anti circ, and i respect all differences in parenting equally - i only posted on this thread, because there can be ailments that can cause you to have your child circ'd later in life. Although its rare. More likely than not, not circing your child will turn out completely fine, and they will be completely happy.
and someone previously mentioned the OP was asking at birth - yes i missed that. Probably because here they DONT circ at birth. They also dont circ in the hospitals, you need to arrange it yourself, after your child is 2 weeks old. I cant speak for all of canada, but where i live, thats how it works.
Mama, your son's condition isn't the norm in which we are discussing. I am not trying to cast any judgment at you because you have stated his condition, and that your DH & you went through a lot of consideration, gave your son time to grow out of it himself, and when he didn't, that's when you took action. That's entirely different from the routine infant circumcision that the OP is referring to. What your DH & you did is commendable, and I'm sure I would have made the same decision as you. I'm sorry if my original post quote to you came off offensive. I wasn't aware of your entire situation. I shouldn't have assumed yours was the same as everyone else's who chooses to circumcise their son, and for that, I apologize.

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Old 08-11-2010, 10:49 AM   #62
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Re: A good reason to circ?

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Originally Posted by snic_1982 View Post
Im not sure if you are referring to my son or not..... if you are i have a few responses.... he was not born with an "intersex" condition..... he always had a penis - it was tucked behind the fat pad, with a small portion exposed. As far as leaving it the way it was - and waiting until htey were old enough to consent, as much as i dont picture my babies having sex, the reality is, at some point they will want to. and knowing my child would not have been able to - it seemed pretty clear to me it was going to be repaired. And I doubt he would have been comfortable having erections underneath his skin either..... Sorry to be graphic but i have to say ladies, im a little disappointed with the judgement here. normally i dont feel judgement on DS, but the "if i ever had a child like this i would do that.." really? how do you know? have you been in that situation? theres a lot of things i thought i would have done differently prior to being faced with the situation..... and it wasnt a walk in the park for us either. im not getting into the gory details but as i mentioned before we researched plenty prior to the surgery and had a few consultations. we decided to do it early because a- we didnt want him to remember it, b- so it would be the way it would be for the rest of his life prior to potty training. wether or not you agree with it, its up to you. I dont appreciate the judgement though on such a sensetive topic - and please do not tell me what you would or wouldnt do, and how much you know from the almighty truthful internet. You DONT know what you would do until you are faced in the situation, and the internet is not always truthful, accurate, etc. The funny thing is, i dont have strong beleifs for either pro or anti circ, and i respect all differences in parenting equally - i only posted on this thread, because there can be ailments that can cause you to have your child circ'd later in life. Although its rare. More likely than not, not circing your child will turn out completely fine, and they will be completely happy.
and someone previously mentioned the OP was asking at birth - yes i missed that. Probably because here they DONT circ at birth. They also dont circ in the hospitals, you need to arrange it yourself, after your child is 2 weeks old. I cant speak for all of canada, but where i live, thats how it works.
Mama, your son's condition isn't the norm in which we are discussing. I am not trying to cast any judgment at you because you have stated his condition, and that your DH & you went through a lot of consideration, gave your son time to grow out of it himself, and when he didn't, that's when you took action. That's entirely different from the routine infant circumcision that the OP is referring to. What your DH & you did is commendable, and I'm sure I would have made the same decision as you. I'm sorry if my original post quote to you came off offensive. I wasn't aware of your entire situation. I shouldn't have assumed yours was the same as everyone else's who chooses to circumcise their son, and for that, I apologize.
I may have made the same choice as you for your 1st son. You did state though that you circ'ed your second son, and there was no reason for that, other than you saw 2 9yo boys being circ'ed for infections and did it to prevent it from "needing" to be done later. That is totally different from a medical condition, as there was nothing "wrong" with your second son.
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Old 08-11-2010, 11:00 AM   #63
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Re: A good reason to circ?

Bethan, have you tried showing him this link from the Catholic POV: http://www.fisheaters.com/circumcision.html Good luck!
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Old 08-11-2010, 11:16 AM   #64
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Re: A good reason to circ?

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Originally Posted by snic_1982 View Post
Im not sure if you are referring to my son or not.....
I'm not the person who posted that, but I'm guessing she wasn't referring to you or your child. Surgery on intersex children is a huge controversy and she was likely just referring to her stance on that as it is similar to RIC in that both are decisions that can be left until later (assuming the intersex genitalia is functional). I've made similar comments on circ threads about the intersex issue. I also stand firm that I would not operate on my child if they were born intersex. If there was needed surgery to make the genitalia functional in the short term that's one thing, but I wouldn't do cosmetic reconstructive surgery on an intersex child. They used to do it routinely in the past, and that led to a lot of problems later in life. It is best to leave it be and allow the adult child to determine how they want to go about surgery, or if they even want to pursue it.
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Old 08-11-2010, 01:41 PM   #65
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Re: A good reason to circ?

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my son has a kidney/bladder issue that required circ according to the urologists and kidney specialists. i am still very opposed to it and have tons of guilt about it even though it was "medically necessary".
This was the case with my son, too, and I regret it so so so so much. I feel like I got bad advice, and I was a young, single mother, and I hadn't researched at all. A specialist recommended circ b/c my son's renal pelves were kinked en utero, and he said it would "protect against UTI's." When I took my newborn son to have it done, the ped said, "You know this is just cosmetic surgery, right?" The only good thing I can take from the experience is that, because the ped was pretty much anti-circ, he performed a very "loose" one on my son, and there is still foreskin there. I would never, ever choose to circ any other boy I birth.
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Old 08-11-2010, 07:04 PM   #66
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Re: A good reason to circ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by snic_1982 View Post
Im not sure if you are referring to my son or not..... if you are i have a few responses.... he was not born with an "intersex" condition..... he always had a penis - it was tucked behind the fat pad, with a small portion exposed. As far as leaving it the way it was - and waiting until htey were old enough to consent, as much as i dont picture my babies having sex, the reality is, at some point they will want to. and knowing my child would not have been able to - it seemed pretty clear to me it was going to be repaired. And I doubt he would have been comfortable having erections underneath his skin either..... Sorry to be graphic but i have to say ladies, im a little disappointed with the judgement here. normally i dont feel judgement on DS, but the "if i ever had a child like this i would do that.." really? how do you know? have you been in that situation? theres a lot of things i thought i would have done differently prior to being faced with the situation..... and it wasnt a walk in the park for us either. im not getting into the gory details but as i mentioned before we researched plenty prior to the surgery and had a few consultations. we decided to do it early because a- we didnt want him to remember it, b- so it would be the way it would be for the rest of his life prior to potty training. wether or not you agree with it, its up to you. I dont appreciate the judgement though on such a sensetive topic - and please do not tell me what you would or wouldnt do, and how much you know from the almighty truthful internet. You DONT know what you would do until you are faced in the situation, and the internet is not always truthful, accurate, etc. The funny thing is, i dont have strong beleifs for either pro or anti circ, and i respect all differences in parenting equally - i only posted on this thread, because there can be ailments that can cause you to have your child circ'd later in life. Although its rare. More likely than not, not circing your child will turn out completely fine, and they will be completely happy.
and someone previously mentioned the OP was asking at birth - yes i missed that. Probably because here they DONT circ at birth. They also dont circ in the hospitals, you need to arrange it yourself, after your child is 2 weeks old. I cant speak for all of canada, but where i live, thats how it works.
Hey there Mama, I was not referring to your post, I was speaking in general about individuals born with an intersex condition causing 'ambiguous genitalia' or was is now called "disorders of sex development", DSD (which many intersex activists take issue with).
I am guessing, by what you described, your son had inconspicuous or concealed or buried penis.
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