do you let your young kids go to neighbors' houses without you?

[travelmama24]

I would not be comfortable letting DD play inside a neighbor's house at 4.5 if I wasn't in the house with her. I think my age limit will be 6 or 7.

Originally Posted by chloecat we live in a very very rural area... i don't know if i'd feel the same way if i lived in a different area??

Maybe a bit off topic - I'm not asking this to be snarky at all so please don't take it that way. I grew up in a very small city where houses are literally next to one another with maybe 15-20 feet in between. We were allowed to play outside unsupervised at a young age because there were so many neighbors around to watch out for us (someone was always sitting on their porch or a bench). I guess growing up with so many people around has made me think that rural areas would be unsafe because the houses are so spread apart & there are less people around to watch out for kids. I now live in a development in a rural area and I still feel that the spread out houses outside of our development are less safe for kids than a neighborhood with more houses that are situated closer together. But, I've seen many posts by people who say just what you're saying...that you feel safer in a rural area. Why is that? I'm genuinely curious but never thought to ask anyone before.

[mommy2abigail]

Nope. My oldest dd is 5.5 and still doesn't do play dates without me. The only people the kids have been left with are my mom and best friend (twice).

[maureen73]

No..we don't but that is just our personal preference. If our kids are playing with other kids then DH or I are there to supervise at all times.

[chloecat]

i don't live in a development per say. it's a long dirt lane on the side of a mountain with about 10 houses on it spaced out along a 5 mile or so length. i live about halfway up so not a lot of traffic going on. i know the cars that come and go and can see who comes up and down the road at pretty much anytime. when i let my child go to play, he is either in my yard/house, or in the neighbors yard/house. and i guess i'm just comfortable knowing how removed we are from them main road and town area that i don't worry about him

Originally Posted by travelmama24 I would not be comfortable letting DD play inside a neighbor's house at 4.5 if I wasn't in the house with her. I think my age limit will be 6 or 7. Maybe a bit off topic - I'm not asking this to be snarky at all so please don't take it that way. I grew up in a very small city where houses are literally next to one another with maybe 15-20 feet in between. We were allowed to play outside unsupervised at a young age because there were so many neighbors around to watch out for us (someone was always sitting on their porch or a bench). I guess growing up with so many people around has made me think that rural areas would be unsafe because the houses are so spread apart & there are less people around to watch out for kids. I now live in a development in a rural area and I still feel that the spread out houses outside of our development are less safe for kids than a neighborhood with more houses that are situated closer together. But, I've seen many posts by people who say just what you're saying...that you feel safer in a rural area. Why is that? I'm genuinely curious but never thought to ask anyone before.

[leighi123]

My 3 yr old goes next door all the time to play. They have 4 kids (17, 15, 13, 8), and the 3 girls LOVE ds and are awsome with him. The older 2 (15 and 13) have taken babysitting courses with CPR and all that. They usually play in their yard anyway and I can hear them from my sewing room and see them over the fence when they are on top of their climbing thing (they have like a whole playground in their yard)

When they are done playing, the girls walk him back over to our house and bring him right to the front door.

Its awsome b/c I can get some sewing in and the neighbors love playing with him and want him over there all the time!

[sisterof10]

Nope. I just don't feel comfortable with it at that age. I agree that 7ish is closer to the right age.

[bama]

Yep But I do know my neighbors very well.He's been allowed to play next door without me since he was 4.

[luvsviola]

Depends on the situation, definitely. And the vibe I get from the mom.

[travelmama24]

Originally Posted by chloecat i don't live in a development per say. it's a long dirt lane on the side of a mountain with about 10 houses on it spaced out along a 5 mile or so length. i live about halfway up so not a lot of traffic going on. i know the cars that come and go and can see who comes up and down the road at pretty much anytime. when i let my child go to play, he is either in my yard/house, or in the neighbors yard/house. and i guess i'm just comfortable knowing how removed we are from them main road and town area that i don't worry about him

Thanks for responding & explaining Mama! What you say makes sense and gives me a better understanding of your point of view. I have to say though that I still feel safer with lots of people around, but that's how I grew up. Maybe DD will feel differently since we live somewhat in the country, surrounded by woods. (PS - the woods creep me out...I'm such a city girl!!!!! )

[elizabeth.scalf]

With someone you don't really know all that well, I'd say no, not right away. Maybe arrange a few play dates, at her house and yours, with the parents present, so you can see how she interacts with her own kids, get a scoop on cleanliness, safety, etc inside her home. You could also invite the kid over to your house to see how he acts, that might clue you into parenting style (ie, if he asks for junk food to eat then I'd assume if your kid went over there that's what the mother would feed them). Go with your gut.