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Old 08-11-2010, 01:59 PM   #1
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Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

So today at playgoup I was talking to a couple moms. We were talking about breast milk (what 'toxins' can be in it) and if we drank, dyed our hair etc. I was saying that we should do what we want, like a drink or 2 is fine, but do whatever is in your comfort zone.

Anyways, one of the moms said that she used to smoke while breastfeeding, but she quit. And I said "oh well, it's still better than formula" BIG mistake. The other mom kinda freaked on me saying "No no no you can't say that! You don't know what other people have done! You can't say that thats better than formula!"

I felt SO bad, and embarassed . I said sorry to her like 10 times. I wanted too crawl under a rock.

The stupid thing is that I said it so the smoking mom would't feel bad, but in the process made the other mom feel bad . Lesson learned, next time I'll keep my big trap shut.

Anyone else had an oops moment?

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Old 08-11-2010, 02:06 PM   #2
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

At this point, there's nothing else to do. You said you're sorry, and you know you didn't do it with malicious (sp??) intent, you were trying to make the other mom feel better. Now you know and you learn from your mistake
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Old 08-11-2010, 02:10 PM   #3
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Oh, and for the oops moment...DH's uncle has a "roommate" and has for YEARS. The family is pretty sure he's gay, but he hasn't told anyone. He was visiting at MIL's (his sister). SIL was having a graduation party, and MIL was joking saying things had changed since older SIL's grad party...they're also Jewish and older SIL didn't have beer at her party, so she was saying, "the beer, the pork, and the gays" (MIL also has a few gay friends). Well, UIL was in the kitchen and we didn't know it, and he heard the whole thing...we felt HORRIBLE! She wasn't being mean, just joking how things were so different, but it was still really bad.
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Old 08-11-2010, 02:24 PM   #4
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Don't worry mama, I've had plenty of them! I agree with you though, smoking while BF is probably better than formula, but still you can't say that, because some people maybe didn't have the choice of BF!

I was talking to my SIL once and saying how I didn't like any of the mom's groups around me as I felt everybody had their trendy baby gear and Bugaboo stroller etc, and basically just weren't on the same page as me with baby-raising. I then went to use their bathroom and noticed she had a Bugaboo, lol! Whoops!
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Old 08-11-2010, 03:27 PM   #5
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

We all have those moments. I wouldn't dwell too much on it. Afterall that is how you feel personally. Also, you weren't out to offend the other mom. I would just let it go.
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Old 08-11-2010, 03:54 PM   #6
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

My OOOOOOOOOPPPSS! moment:

The first week of birthing class... I was further along than anyone else in the room. We were going around the room introducing ourselves and why we were there blah blah blah...
When my turn comes, I say, "I thought that since I was further along than everyone else here, that I would be bigger, too! But I'm still smaller than everyone here!!!"
I basically called every pregnant mom in the birthing class fat. I didn't want to go back the next week, but DH made me!!!
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Old 08-11-2010, 05:41 PM   #7
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

There isn't really anything you can do about it now! Don't beat yourself up too bad about it...Although I have to say, smoking and bf'ing or drinking and bf'ing is hardly better than formula. I think its ridiculous that you really believe that.
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Old 08-11-2010, 06:24 PM   #8
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

I've stuck my foot in my mouth so many times it's any wonder that I have any friends or family that still like to be around me.

And I was under the impression, by reading lots of studies, that a drink or two is fine while breastfeeding. And I also read from several different sources that if the choice is between a smoke or two and breastfeeding vs only formula feeding, that the breastfeeding was still better for the infant. I could be wrong on that, I just remember reading up on it when my son was an infant.
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Old 08-11-2010, 06:40 PM   #9
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil View Post
I've stuck my foot in my mouth so many times it's any wonder that I have any friends or family that still like to be around me.

And I was under the impression, by reading lots of studies, that a drink or two is fine while breastfeeding. And I also read from several different sources that if the choice is between a smoke or two and breastfeeding vs only formula feeding, that the breastfeeding was still better for the infant. I could be wrong on that, I just remember reading up on it when my son was an infant.
It seems I have read that, too. We all have those moments... I have them often!
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Old 08-11-2010, 06:50 PM   #10
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Re: Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

My oops moment:

I was talking to a friend about how stretch marked and ugly my thighs were and I said at the rate I was going I was going to need a bathing suit with granny skirt attached after my next pregnancy. She got kind of quiet and it turns out that she had just bought that kind of suit. I felt bad, we've all been there.
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