C/S recovery...am I being overly concerned?

[lj2blessed]

Originally Posted by KristieW Wait, how many weeks will you be when you have your c/s? If you'll only be 39 (which is when many OBs seem to want to schedule c/s's), can you bump it out a week so that you'll have DH home right when you get home from the hospital? I just can't IMAGINE recovering from MAJOR surgery with a newborn, toddler, and zero daytime help!

I agree with this! I'm very familiar with "shutdown" (tons of family members work(ed) for the auto industry) - sounds like it'll come right on time for your family. Schedule your c/s for you getting out of the hospital when DH is off work. He needs to stay home with you and not go traveling. If anyone from his family wants to come help they have to COME TO HELP, not sit around to be entertained, etc. You should be able to use those two weeks to rest and chill with your baby - their duties (including DH) will be:

1. Occupy, play with 17 month old
2. Cook, clean, keep house together
3. Hold/tend to newborn when you need to rest
4. Stay out of you and newborn's hair when you need to nurse, etc.

[BottomOfMyHearts]

First of all- I think your OB is being silly about the VBAC, your choice however. I also have a 17 month old and I'm having a VBAC in the first week of Sept. (Stars aligned etc. lol)

My doctor(S) I see 7 of them at the practice I go to, they rotate in and out so you know all of them for delivery time, and all of them were fine from me to have a VBAC 1 year after my c-section had healed.

Since you had a prior c-section (I had an emergent one too) you should be able to remember how your recovery went. For me, the worst part was the 2 days in the hospital. I remember getting up to pee and what not and it was sheer agony. But then after a couple of days at home I was really feeling great. By the end of 2 weeks I felt back up to speed (except for the lack of sleep. lol)

I'm sure I was pushing it too hard too fast but I just felt 95% of normal.

That being said, they do say second c-sections can be harder on your body and your recovery time might be more difficult the second time around (another reason I am pro-vbac.)

Anyways- all that aside, I still would not host no dang bbq at my house and if I did travel to a relatives, you can bet DH/in-laws/family would be doing all the work there and my job would be sitting on a sofa breast feeding.

[Mrs.Rusty]

Originally Posted by lj2blessed I agree with this! I'm very familiar with "shutdown" (tons of family members work(ed) for the auto industry) - sounds like it'll come right on time for your family. Schedule your c/s for you getting out of the hospital when DH is off work. He needs to stay home with you and not go traveling. If anyone from his family wants to come help they have to COME TO HELP, not sit around to be entertained, etc. You should be able to use those two weeks to rest and chill with your baby - their duties (including DH) will be: 1. Occupy, play with 17 month old 2. Cook, clean, keep house together 3. Hold/tend to newborn when you need to rest 4. Stay out of you and newborn's hair when you need to nurse, etc.

^^ I agree with this!!

[Abbaloosa]

I've had two C-sections (2nd also because they were too close together...although mine were 14months) and I would honestly say my recovery was quicker the second time. By two wks I was back to almost normal except for lifting. But I realize everyone is different. I personally would be staying home and NOT hosting parties...can you maybe do one a month or two later instead if he's so set on it?

[Sweet_Fantasy_Fox]

I didn't read all the replies but my answer tot he dh is no, you are going to need to rest as much as you can, and chasing kids is not what you need to be doing 2 weeks after a cs. You can tell him he can do it all on his own but you will not be able to help with the food or watching of the kids aside from the baby. If he insists this gathering needs to be done, then he needs to be in charge of it all on his own and please don't feel sorry for him, he doesn't need to do this for everyone else. He should be with you adjusting to the new baby and helping you with anything you need or want.

[purna079]

geez Im hesitant about going to vosit my inlaws 8 weeks post partum a vaginal delivery!

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[jac1976]

You have every right to be concerned. I had DD by c/s. DH wasn't with me most of the time in the hospital b/c his mom was in another hospital literally dying, so he was spending a lot of time with his dad and talking to his mom's doctors. Having DD on my own in the hospital was difficult. I didn't want to send her to the nursery, so we still roomed in. I couldn't lift her out of the bassinet by myself, so we co-slept. I just kept her in bed with me all of the time. I was scared the nurses or doctors would say something, but I think they all felt sorry for me.

My MIL died about a week after DD was born. I spent a lot of time that week on my own with DD and DS (then 2.5) and it was hard. Doable, but hard. At 2 weeks post partum, I has to deal with viewings and MIL's funeral. It was physically painful. It was too much activity, too soon. After the service, I went to the reception and ended up sitting in a chair the whole time and not moving.

If your DH really wants to have a family gathering, I would suggest to him doing it at the very end of his holiday instead of the beginning. That way you can take the time that he is home to properly heal and recuperate before you have to entertain.

[sunnygirlmomof6]

Originally Posted by tavosmama No freakin way should you be hosting a family event at your home right after a c/s. Have your OB explain to your husband that you could hemorrhage and die. Plus more people=more germs and I'm not a germ-aphobe in anyway, but brand new baby + lots of people. Nope nope nope.

My thoughts exactly. No freaking way. I would try to explain this to him nicely first, then just lay it out. NO.
I have never had a c/s, but I hear they require a lot more rest time. I usually feel fine within days after a vaginal delivery, but no way would I go to a family get together or host one that soon.
Good luck! I hope he can understand without needing a good smack!

[L&A'smommy]

I have had 2 c-sections and a Vaginal birth and wouldn't have hosted anything 2 weeks after any of the 3.

Maybe your DH can take your 17 month old the 2 hours away to that party and you can stay and have some resting time with your newbie?

You aren't wrong to say no to both ideas.

[Hillargh]

Is your DH aware of how serious of a surgery a c-section really is? I would definitely have your care provider explain it to him in major detail. It's not like on TV. You don't come out smiling and ready to run a marathon for goodness sake. It's major surgery, and he needs to be ready to pick up the slack because you will not be able to, or you'll risk further injury to yourself. I would veto the BBQ completely. He doesn't want to have to watch your DS alone, but wants you to take on a social event after surgery? He must be stark raving mad.