Babies, especially young infants, have a strong desire to suck. If the flow of milk coming from the bottle is so fast that they can drink the whole bottle in less than 5 minutes, they may be taking more than they really need because they really want to suck. I bottle feed a breastfed baby and if I put 4 oz in a medium flow bottle, she will down it all in less than 5 minutes and sometimes even whimper like she wants more. However, if I put 2.5 oz in a bottle with a slow flow nipple, she will take about 10-15 minutes to finish the bottle and will push it away, sometimes with a few milliliters left in the bottle. The difference is pacing her with the right feeding method and a slow flow nipple so she can comfort suck but not over-eat. I also feed her about every 2 hours, like she would eat if she was breastfeeding. Breastmilk empties from the stomach faster than formula, so even if you give them a lot at once, they will be hungry again soon because breastmilk digests quickly. That's why it is helpful to understand how feeding a breastfed baby is different from feeding a formula/bottle fed baby. Hopefully that explains things better.
If your DH insists on feeding her so much, I'd tell him he can pull more weight with the household chores and other kiddos so you have time to pump more.
The baby that I watch only takes about an ounce per hour that her Mama is away. She only nurses a couple times at night and is gaining weight like she should and growing normally. She is very happy and content when she is with me but if she ever wants more, she lets me know and I get her more. Babies are smart and they let us know what they need.
You are so right. I really didn't explain bottle feeding a BF baby to them enough.
Mama to DS 8, DD 5, DS2 2 and DD2 12/2/11