Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-12-2012, 12:52 PM   #11
MunkyCrazy's Avatar
MunkyCrazy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 840
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

I was more annoyed with my mom telling me that childbirth didn't hurt at all and all I would have to do is picture something nice and I wouldn't feel anything, than any of the horror stories I heard.

Advertisement

__________________
Diana , wife to Charlie mommy to Kyler (2008) Corbin (2009) and Weston (2012)
MunkyCrazy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:00 PM   #12
doulamomma's Avatar
doulamomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,731
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinMommaplus2
I disagree. Lets not sugar coat things ladies. its hard HARD work, labor no matter how you go about it. Being positive and sharing your experience with another woman is a great way to connect, bond and hopefully give her some insight on something she may not be familiar with. Sometimes things dont go as planned, and your in pain and your on back, and it sucks... some people choose to focus only on that aspect of thier labor... to each thier own. However, it is what it is.
LABOR.
thats the point though. Labor doesn't have to be a painful, strapped to the bed on your back experience. most women I know go into labor thinking they want to try to go as natural as possible. But they are not prepared so end up getting interventions which lead to more intervention. So to feel like they didn't fail they need to make it extra horrible so they have a good reason for not sticking to the original plan. I get frustrated because people act like my labor must not have been that bad bc I was able to do it without drugs. It was difficult at times. I was just well educated and prepared for it and determined to do it naturally

Sent from my galaxy tab using DS Forum
__________________
Lora, blessed to be a wife to Aaron- 11 years and a Mom to DD Ella-7, DD Ava-5, Olivia-3, Weston-1
I sell SCENTSY!!!Labor and delivery resources HERE
doulamomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:28 PM   #13
RedheadMom09's Avatar
RedheadMom09
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 544
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

I think women naturally feel inclined to share their birth stories with expecting moms because there are few opportunities to talk about it otherwise. Let's face it, for most women having their baby/babies is probably the most emotionally significant event of their lives. It's like the female version of a war story. Unfortunately, there's almost no socially acceptable time to talk about it, regardless of whether it was positive or negative.

Personally, when I was pregnant I never perceived it as someone trying to "scare me" about birth when she told me her birth story, and I would hope that no one would perceive it that way if I talked about mine. I think it says something bad about our society that we perceive a ritual as old as time - women telling birth stories - as having a negative intent towards the listener.
__________________
CEO of the home, SAHM to DD born 12/2008. CDing, EBFing, ERFing, trying to adjust to the culture shock of giving up a great career to be a SAHM, proud liberal milspouse to CPT Dan.
Congenital heart defects affect 1 in 100 babies. What if that 1 was yours?
RedheadMom09 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:43 PM   #14
mommyria2's Avatar
mommyria2
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,203
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedheadMom09 View Post
I think women naturally feel inclined to share their birth stories with expecting moms because there are few opportunities to talk about it otherwise. Let's face it, for most women having their baby/babies is probably the most emotionally significant event of their lives. It's like the female version of a war story. Unfortunately, there's almost no socially acceptable time to talk about it, regardless of whether it was positive or negative.

Personally, when I was pregnant I never perceived it as someone trying to "scare me" about birth when she told me her birth story, and I would hope that no one would perceive it that way if I talked about mine. I think it says something bad about our society that we perceive a ritual as old as time - women telling birth stories - as having a negative intent towards the listener.
I get what you are saying. I certainly don't mind hearing someone's birth story and I read all kinds, good and bad. But this wasn't a story it was more like "haha it's going to hurt a lot" which I'm sure it will hurt, but I'm prepared for that. I don't know, I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way. I think next time I'll ask her to tell me about her births, it could be a good learning/bonding experience.
__________________
Maria, WOHM to Nate (9/23/2010) and Alex (5/5/2012) and wife to SAHD and high school sweetheart Aaron.

Last edited by mommyria2; 03-12-2012 at 01:45 PM.
mommyria2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 01:59 PM   #15
jackyl08's Avatar
jackyl08
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NW Oregon
Posts: 7,029
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

I have no idea why women do that! I was so terrified before I had DD, that I was having panic attacks thinking it would kill me. Then I had her, complete with an epi that didn't work. You know what? IT WASN'T THAT BAD! This is what I tell other expectant mothers I know. I had an in hospital birth and it was great. Yes, there are some things I did a bit different the second time around, but honestly, my first birth made the horror of my pregnancy(HG and anxiety) 100% better. My second hospital birth was absolutely amazing and I seriously wanted to do it all over again. It was hard work, absolutely, but it was manageable and doesn't last forever! That is what I tell others.
__________________
Jacky, CPST and wife to Tim
Mama to my little red heads, Kenzie (5) and Maverick (3)Currently boycotting using the potty EVER
jackyl08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 02:02 PM   #16
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

I like to tell women about my positive birth experience but with the disclaimer that my first birth was easier than most. But that it is possible to have a fast relatively low-pain labor,. I try to emphasize that staying positive, fit, and being in a safe environment are all key to a good birth experience, and will help make it a positive no matter the mode of birth in the end.

I did get a lot of horror stories before my first, though. I usually just shrugged it off. This time no one is giving me advice because they figure that I know what I'm doing, lol.
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 03:58 PM   #17
solnishka7's Avatar
solnishka7
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 1,586
My Mood:
I've def heard my share of horror birth stories but I've def been blessed with 2 of the fastest pain free births ever... So no scary stories from me.. Let's hope this upcoming labor is as fast and peaceful
__________________
mama to Zion '07 and Zavier '09 and Zakai '12
solnishka7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 04:20 PM   #18
crunch!910's Avatar
crunch!910
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,208
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

When I first told my mother I was pregnant with my first child, she laughed at me and said "just you wait for labor!" or something along those lines. Before that, all growing up, all of us kids had heard all about her awful, painful labors and ripping and tearing all the way to her rectum, etc. And even though she knew I was planning and am planning for this one, she never fails to share how painful it is. I'm glad she didn't sugar coat it, but I also know she exaggerates everything so she's never made me actually fearful of labor/birth.
__________________
Mommy to M (9/09) & G (4/12) & expecting Feb 2014
crunch!910 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 04:28 PM   #19
knodceo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,189
I know plenty of women who try to 'inform' you. Luckily my mother in law was my only saving grace.

I'd just tell her how you feel. I did and it makes people back off. Good luck!
knodceo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2012, 04:38 PM   #20
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: Why do women like to scare each other about labor?

Actually I really appreciate my mom's example. She had 3 traumatic births, but never tried to scare me with them. I didn't even hear the stories until after my daughter was born, and then I was mortified by what she went through and how she was treated!
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.