Is my boss allowed to do this to me? Do i have any rights?

[A&M'smommy]

Is my boss allowed to demote me because i cant go on a trip to a conference because im nursing?

SO heres the story i just dont understand how she can do this when ive worked so hard to get to where im at!

SO i work in a franchised hair salon and im an assistant manager and every year our whoel franchise does a big conference and it like 4 days long. Well we live in colorado and this year the conference is in orlando (so clear across the country). well my manager is stepping down from her position soon so the owners decided that which ever 2 stylists did the best in their proformance in 3 months would win the trip to go to florida. when this first came about she said we were welcome to bring our familes but just that we would have to foot the bill for them. well then it changed to well no because they will just be a distraction to you. so I told her I didnt think i would eb able to go because my baby is still nursing and 4+ days is a long time for me to leave her and im worried about it forcing her to wean.

SO I ended up winning the contest and she told me i had 24 hours to decide if i was going to take the trip. (she never said its manditory) I talked to my husband and in my heart ill be upset if i go and it affects my nursing relationship. so i told her if i wasnt able to bring my husband and my baby that i didnt think i could go. (i asked before if i could bring them and i would pay for my husbands ticket and 1/2 my room expenses even though that was supposed to be included in my trip)

She told me that my job would have to be reevaulated because im not going to go to the "extra training". but the other girl that won the other part of the ticket isnt going to go either because she already told someone she would be their godmother at their 1st communion... but my boss didnt tell this other girl that she was in any trouble!

so i guess what im asking is can she demote me just because i still have a nursing baby (she will be barely 11 months at the time of the trip).

thanks for any help ladies its so hard to be a good mommy while trying to please your boss obviously!

[BrandNewMama]

I'm not sure I'm of any help because I don't know what your rights are but good luck mama! That's pretty terrible of her treating you that way but kudos for putting your family first!

[ofthemoonsglow]

Call the LLL they'll probably know more about laws.

[Mommyto2B2G]

If it were me I'd contact an attorney to find out what can and can't be done. In my personal opinion though it sounds so wrong and not something she can legally do to you. Especially after praising you for your work by offering the trip and 2nd you offered some kind of compromise to the situation (bringing fam and paying for them). Also, I doubt your BFing has anything to do with hurting your work. I don't think she has a leg to stand on with all this. Good luck!

[juliasmom]

I don't know about the laws, but I would try to get around the situation without involving any kind of legal action on you boss (unless you were going to be fired), as that doesn't sound like it will help your career or work environment in the long run. I had to go to a conference for work and I brought my DH and DD... it was not an option for me to travel without them. I never told my boss they were coming... it was not his business or decision! We paid for DHs plane ticket, food, etc. My boss paid for my plane, hotel and a meal stipend just the same as he would've if I went alone. Just because you are in a different city doesn't mean your boss gets any say over your family decisions or who you spend your free time with. My boss did find out my family was there once we were at the conference, and it was not an issue. I did my presentation and attended the conference just the same as I would have if they weren't with me.

ETA: If your job is contingent on going to this conference, then I would tell her you will go and make it work. Be vague and don't disclose whether or not your family is going... just say "we will work it out" or "it won't be easy" if she asks something. Then buy your DH and baby a ticket and bring them with you!

[A&M'smommy]

Originally Posted by juliasmom I don't know about the laws, but I would try to get around the situation without involving any kind of legal action on you boss (unless you were going to be fired), as that doesn't sound like it will help your career or work environment in the long run. I had to go to a conference for work and I brought my DH and DD... it was not an option for me to travel without them. I never told my boss they were coming... it was not his business or decision! We paid for DHs plane ticket, food, etc. My boss paid for my plane, hotel and a meal stipend just the same as he would've if I went alone. Just because you are in a different city doesn't mean your boss gets any say over your family decisions or who you spend your free time with. My boss did find out my family was there once we were at the conference, and it was not an issue. I did my presentation and attended the conference just the same as I would have if they weren't with me. ETA: If your job is contingent on going to this conference, then I would tell her you will go and make it work. Be vague and don't disclose whether or not your family is going... just say "we will work it out" or "it won't be easy" if she asks something. Then buy your DH and baby a ticket and bring them with you!

see this is what i was thinking is how can she tell me where my family can or can not be but i think the problem is that shes cheap and she wants me and the other girl to share a room so i cant have my husband go unless i wanna pay for his whole own room... and she is a crazy and i know that if i take my husband now without her "permission" she would probably fire me for that!

so idk what to do this is so stressful..........

[mibarra]

If the other lady is not getting the same flack as you, she is discriminating according to my lawyer DH, and he says she can't do that. I agree she can't tell you where your family can or can't go if you foot the bill.

[tibeca]

I have gone on more than a few "trips" with my husband for work. He did his job, and when "work" was over, we went out and had fun. He didn't disclose to his job that we were going together because the reality is that I am an adult and can go wherever I want.

While she can refuse to pay the full portion of the room because he is there, she cannot fire you for taking your family with you.

The truth is that this is not mandatory training and therefore your performance cannot be knocked against it. If possible, I would contact the owners directly. Explain the situation without accusing anyone of anything. Explain that you want to go, but what is stopping you. Mention possible alternative (not going, taking your family and paying their way, etc.). That will CYA in case your manager decides to take your failure to participate further than just talk.

[Kanga]

Ughh reasons like this is why I got out of doing hair. I put up with way too much !@#$ for way too long and then they fired me for being pregnant (of course that wasn't their given reason, but we all knew it was).

She cannot tell you where your family can go, or who you can spend time with. They cannot be expected to foot any extra expenses, obviously, and they cannot be in the training seminars and what not but you already knew that.

I would talk privately with your boss and stand up to her, politely. Let her know that you have been thinking about the way she has been treating you and you don't appreciate it. And then go on to say that you've spoken with your lawyer, you know your rights and that she cannot discriminate against you by doing _______(state her actions she has done or threatened to do) and she can also not tell you where your family can go or not go. Tell her you take your job very seriously, possibly point out that can be rare in the salon industry, and you would never let yourself be distracted from duties while there. Do not mention the other stylist and what has or hasn't been done against her. You can't know that with absolute certainty, and it could come off as sounding tattle tale-y or petty.

In all seriousness, and I KNOW how hard this is as a hairstylist, but I would consider changing jobs. You don't deserve to walk on eggshells, your baby and family don't deserve second best because you're afraid of losing your job.

[Colleeny]

ETA: If your job is contingent on going to this conference, then I would tell her you will go and make it work. Be vague and don't disclose whether or not your family is going... just say "we will work it out" or "it won't be easy" if she asks something. Then buy your DH and baby a ticket and bring them with you!

THIS tHIS! Do that!!! That is perfect! If the conference was close to home, she could not tell you to dump your family for 4 days! So, just because the conference is away from home, does not mean you have listen to her on this account. Your free time is your personal time, and that means they can go weather she likes it or not! PHOOEY on her!