Twin Reality Check

[kricket24]

Do you think it's foolish of me to want twins? What can you tell me about having twins to give me a reality check?

A little back round...like my siggy shows, I have two boys, 9 and 3. DH and I are going to go through fertility (most likely IVF) in the next month or so. If we do IVF, I'm pretty sure we want to transfer two embryos just so we have the best possible chance of it working the first time. That of course, opens up the possibility of having twins. I was pregnant with mono/di identical twins in 2008 but sadly miscarried them at 9 weeks from, what I believe, was medical negligence. I guess part of me is really excited about the idea of being pregnant with twins again and then hopefully carrying them to term this time. Another part (the realistic part) is really nervous about the idea of a high risk pregnancy, possible major surgery (c-section) then trying to BF, CD and in general, care for twins and my DS's too.

I guess I just need a little perspective and maybe some encouragement *just in case*

[yoga mamma]

I have a four year old boy and 11 month B/G twins ... hubby and I joke all the time, that right now we are kind of in "the best of times and the worst of times"! Our little ones are lovely, and sweet and fun ... but looking after them is a lot of work.
For us,we just had to let go of a lot of our expectations, do a lot of compromising on things that we were really set on before we had the two little ones. This included nursing, co-sleeping, baby wearing, and cloth diapering (we still do/did all of them, but no where to the extent that we did when our first was a little one).

But! - they are just delightful, and of course love them with all my heart.

[foxynursejo]

Twin pregnancies are hard on your body, but I had a friend who had a great pregnancy, made it to 38 weeks, 6lb babies, no NICU time, etc. She was very healthy prior to the pregnancy, fwiw. Even though my twins were only in the NICU 9 and 14 days, that was very hard on our family. H1N1 was big at the time and our hospital wasn't allowing visitors under 18. I stayed at the hospital the whole time, and being away from my 3 year old was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Did you BF? I think having prior experience is definatley helpful before having twins. It can be done and I'm so thankful I was able to breastfeed them for so long. We had a rough start (low weight gain, latch issues, etc) and I almost gave up more than once, but we made it through. Good luck on your journey!!

[foxynursejo]

double post

[kricket24]

Yes, I did BF both boys. My oldest for 15 months and my youngest for around 9 months before he self-weaned. I'm really tall (5'11) so I'm hoping that would be to my advantage with a possible twin pregnancy, but I could definitely stand to lose some weight. I'm hoping having a little extra "cushion" will help with the enormous stretching that would go on. I think our family eats very healthy so that would be a plus. I had GD with my youngest and was able to control it with diet and exercise.

Thanks so much for the honest insights, that's exactly what I need!

[twinpossible]

I wanted twins, prayed for them for a long long time. It took us over 6 years to get our girls. When I actually got what I prayed for I was SO grateful. I can say there are more positives then negatives but you did mention some of the trials we experienced. They were high risk, born at 29 weeks and spent 3 months in the NICU. Once they got home life was hard for a while. BUT you adjust and then they become SO much fun. I love having two at once. We are expecting our third and are discussing having another right after so this one has a playmate too

[kricket24]

Originally Posted by twinpossible I wanted twins, prayed for them for a long long time. It took us over 6 years to get our girls. When I actually got what I prayed for I was SO grateful. I can say there are more positives then negatives but you did mention some of the trials we experienced. They were high risk, born at 29 weeks and spent 3 months in the NICU. Once they got home life was hard for a while. BUT you adjust and then they become SO much fun. I love having two at once. We are expecting our third and are discussing having another right after so this one has a playmate too

Thank you SO much for your post! DH and I both feel very strongly that our ID twins would have been girls and I love hearing from moms of ID twins because it makes me feel connected to my angel babies. I'm glad to hear you were still so happy and excited even though it was hard for you in the beginning. I feel like it would be the same for us. I want this baby or babies (Lord willing!) soooo much that it honestly hurts my heart sometimes. I know from many, many firsthand experiences that having a newborn is a lot of work, but I really feel like I'll be ok if we have twins. My DH is very, very supportive and does everything I ask him and helps around the house probably more than he should and our boys are both very helpful too! I've also worked at a daycare in the newborn nursery and taken care of four babies by myself all day long. I know I was getting a full nights rest each night and had weekends off but from 6:15am to 4:30pm everyday, I had them by myself, they were on a schedule and I LOVED it! I really, really loved my job! I couldn't wait to see those babies each morning and even if it got a little crazy sometimes, I figure if I can handle four babies at a time all by myself, all day long, I could probably handle twins 24/7. lol

[Wanderlust]

Big hugs first of all.

I don't know if it's just my twins, but it's chaos and crazy everyday lol. I really wanted to breastfeed, but realized that wasn't happening. So I settled in for exclusive pumping for a year- I figured breastmilk is breastmilk Like Yoga mama said, you have to be flexible.

I think a big thing is do you have a good support system to help out with your older kids if you go on bed rest or your twins have a longer stay in the NICU?

I think because of doing IVF, being on progesterone for the first trimester did help. My OBGYN and MFM always admired how thick the lining of their amnionic sacs were.

That's awesome you're familiar with handling multiple infants at the same time!

Since you're doing IVF, you'll be monitored from the get-go since they already know you have a high chance of multiples. I had an uneventful twin pregnancy- I worked until I was about 30 weeks along at a job where I was on my feet and sitting on a stool. I did go on modified bed rest when I was about 32 weeks. I was stubborn on my birthday and walked around the mall to eat my favorite foods which caused Baby A's water to break. I'm sure if I had been a good girl and listened to my OBGYN, my babies would have cooked longer than 35 weeks. Although I did have a double whammy birth

They did spend 7 days in the NICU for the feeding and growing program, but I think that's more because I birthed in a military hospital and the NICU had room- it was more for precaution. But I was thankful for that rest- we had no one to help us here in Germany, so the NICU nurses were the ones that tried to help me breastfeed and showed us how to care for our twins.

[meesh38]

If you are open to twins then I would say transfer two embies for sure! Both our sets of twins are from IVF so you know it's not so bad that we didn't want to do it again ~ lol!

[kricket24]

Originally Posted by meesh38 If you are open to twins then I would say transfer two embies for sure! Both our sets of twins are from IVF so you know it's not so bad that we didn't want to do it again ~ lol!

Oh definitely! We are all for it, now to just convince the RE! lol