Twin Reality Check

[crunchymamaNY]

I'm in that boat as well. I'd LOVE twins! Go figure, as I know it's super hard on everyone and everything. Not to mention we'd have to buy another vehicle, and be super tight in our already small living quarters. It's just something my heart desires, you know? It's hard to explain, but I love children, and having 2 just means I got a bonus baby in the deal, or a 2 for one special! It's a real head turner, and I love multiples!!

I know, I'm totally weird.....my heart is thinking, not my brain these days.

[kricket24]

Originally Posted by crunchymamaNY I'm in that boat as well. I'd LOVE twins! Go figure, as I know it's super hard on everyone and everything. Not to mention we'd have to buy another vehicle, and be super tight in our already small living quarters. It's just something my heart desires, you know? It's hard to explain, but I love children, and having 2 just means I got a bonus baby in the deal, or a 2 for one special! It's a real head turner, and I love multiples!! I know, I'm totally weird.....my heart is thinking, not my brain these days.

I don't think you're weird I feel the same way! We have about a 1600 sq ft home and two kids already but I feel like we'd make room! I'm starting to get the realistic part back after the RE and my DH talking about it. Complications, possibility of a c-sections, TTTS, etc. I'm just trying to be patient and accept what happens, whether that means twins or not. We would also need a new vehicle and to make lots of other adjustments too but I know we could make it work!

[Mamatoabunch]

My oldest two are twins, 18 now. Time goes by so very fast. We now have 11 children, the youngest 9 are all singles and we would be so blessed to have twins again, we would be over the moon.

[Tia]

Honestly, I'm not sure hoping for a high risk pregnancy is the way to go.

I'm currently pregnant with twins (as a surrogate) and have a 4 (almost 5) year old and a nearly 2 year old.

I was so sick I lost over 15 lbs before I could eat again at 19 weeks. At 21 weeks I was in the hospital for cramping and contractions. I'm 23 weeks now, and feel like I'm full term.

My risk for c-section is much higher than with a singleton. Risk of miscarriage/pre term labor and GD are also higher.

I can understand the novelty of twins, especially where you've lost twins before. But honestly, if the RE had been honest with me about the chance of twins, I'd have only transferred one embryo.

Also with IVF, you have a chance for not only twins when transferring two, but what if one or both split? Have you considered what you would do in that situation? Most doctors would advise you to reduce. (Not saying you would, but it would be an option.) If you chose not to reduce, all those risks I mentioned with twins, goes up even more with triplets and quads. Who will take care of things if/when you have to go on bedrest? With a twin pregnancy, you may be able to avoid it, but less likely with triplets or more.

If you do some more research (which I wish I'd done before transfer) transferring more embryos does not increase your chance of pregnancy, only increases your chance for multiples.

My RE told me there was only a 10% chance of both embryos sticking. Doesn't mean much when you end up in that 10%.

Obviously this is your family, and your desires, but I'd strongly weigh the pros and cons before trying to become pregnant with twins.

[kricket24]

Tia - Thank you for your honest reply. I think what you're doing is amazing! I had actually looked into surrogacy and signed with an agency but after my first match eventually got pregnant on her own, haven't pursued it any further. Since then, DH and I have decided our family isn't complete yet which brings us to IVF. I wouldn't really call us being open to twins a novelty, I don't really see it that way, but I understand what you meant. Having twins wouldn't be something I take lightly at all. More than anything, I just want a healthy baby or babies and to be healthy myself. I'd definitely prefer not to have an overly complicated pregnancy and delivery if we can avoid it. I feel in some ways I was robbed of the chance to have twins, yes, but I'm not on a mission to have them just because I was going to at one point. I think I'm more focused on how it would enrich our family and how wonderful it would be to witness a close bond in my children as they grow and things like that. I have cousins who are twins and its incredible to see how close they are and how they interact. I guess my heart is focused on the future and what our lives would be like if we were blessed with twins. I appreciate your insight though and definitely won't take this process lightly no matter how many embryos we transfer.

[meesh38]

Originally Posted by Tia Honestly, I'm not sure hoping for a high risk pregnancy is the way to go. I'm currently pregnant with twins (as a surrogate) and have a 4 (almost 5) year old and a nearly 2 year old. I was so sick I lost over 15 lbs before I could eat again at 19 weeks. At 21 weeks I was in the hospital for cramping and contractions. I'm 23 weeks now, and feel like I'm full term. My risk for c-section is much higher than with a singleton. Risk of miscarriage/pre term labor and GD are also higher. I can understand the novelty of twins, especially where you've lost twins before. But honestly, if the RE had been honest with me about the chance of twins, I'd have only transferred one embryo. Also with IVF, you have a chance for not only twins when transferring two, but what if one or both split? Have you considered what you would do in that situation? Most doctors would advise you to reduce. (Not saying you would, but it would be an option.) If you chose not to reduce, all those risks I mentioned with twins, goes up even more with triplets and quads. Who will take care of things if/when you have to go on bedrest? With a twin pregnancy, you may be able to avoid it, but less likely with triplets or more. If you do some more research (which I wish I'd done before transfer) transferring more embryos does not increase your chance of pregnancy, only increases your chance for multiples. My RE told me there was only a 10% chance of both embryos sticking. Doesn't mean much when you end up in that 10%. Obviously this is your family, and your desires, but I'd strongly weigh the pros and cons before trying to become pregnant with twins.

Its very, very difficult to be infertile and have to make decisions such as how many embryos to transfer. I see posts like this from women pregnant with twins warning others not to transfer more than one, yet obviously they didn't heed their own advice. I also find it hard to believe that you didn't know the risks of a twin pregnancy while you transferred two embies.I'm sorry to be harsh, but I get tired of the whole "how dare you want a twin pregnancy (but its OK for me).

[yoga mamma]

Originally Posted by kricket24 I'm really tall (5'11) so I'm hoping that would be to my advantage with a possible twin pregnancy

I'm another tall gal (5'10) and I do think it made my twin pregnancy easier ... I carried them to 39 weeks and 5 days, and they were 6lbs 10 and 7lbs 8! I was big, for sure, but I carried them just fine.

Having said that, I can now see that in retrospect it was significantly harder on my body than I really realized at the time, and I'm just not bouncing back from this pregnancy in the same way (or anywhere near!) as I did with my first.

Good luck ... I truly believe that babies are just waiting for the right mama, and the right time, whether it's one or two or more!

[bea2269]

Originally Posted by yoga mamma I'm another tall gal (5'10) and I do think it made my twin pregnancy easier ... I carried them to 39 weeks and 5 days, and they were 6lbs 10 and 7lbs 8! I was big, for sure, but I carried them just fine. Having said that, I can now see that in retrospect it was significantly harder on my body than I really realized at the time, and I'm just not bouncing back from this pregnancy in the same way (or anywhere near!) as I did with my first. Good luck ... I truly believe that babies are just waiting for the right mama, and the right time, whether it's one or two or more!

Me too! I'm 5'9", and I carried my twins 37 weeks. We induced for hypertension, so they could've stayed longer. My girlfriend is 6'1", and she carried her twins to 42 weeks! Just because a twin pregnancy is automatically considered high-risk doesn't mean it will be. I've had hypertension in all my pregnancies, so I didn't contribute that to my twins. Other than the last 2 wks on bed rest, my pregnancy was really uneventful.

[kricket24]

Originally Posted by yoga mamma I'm another tall gal (5'10) and I do think it made my twin pregnancy easier ... I carried them to 39 weeks and 5 days, and they were 6lbs 10 and 7lbs 8! I was big, for sure, but I carried them just fine. Having said that, I can now see that in retrospect it was significantly harder on my body than I really realized at the time, and I'm just not bouncing back from this pregnancy in the same way (or anywhere near!) as I did with my first. Good luck ... I truly believe that babies are just waiting for the right mama, and the right time, whether it's one or two or more!

Awesome! Thanks for sharing that! I've had one other friend who was tall and had twins. She seemed to have a pretty uneventful pregnancy except for getting PUPPs later in the pregnancy. I really enjoyed both of my singleton pregnancies so I'm hoping I could enjoy a potential twin pregnancy too.

Originally Posted by bea2269 Me too! I'm 5'9", and I carried my twins 37 weeks. We induced for hypertension, so they could've stayed longer. My girlfriend is 6'1", and she carried her twins to 42 weeks! Just because a twin pregnancy is automatically considered high-risk doesn't mean it will be. I've had hypertension in all my pregnancies, so I didn't contribute that to my twins. Other than the last 2 wks on bed rest, my pregnancy was really uneventful.

Wow, 42 weeks! That's amazing but wow! I didn't know twin pregnancies were allowed to go that long these days. 37 weeks is awesome! Thanks for posting that!

[Free Thinker]

There are so many options, and I do think you should look at it thru the clearest eyes possible, no romanticizing I have twins who are 4. Dh and your older kids will have to pitch in b/c you just won't be able to do what you do now, not even close. I would have to lay down I think starting around 18 weeks (which I remember feeling was WAY too early) and propping my hips up to get the pressure off. I also would have cx at 18 weeks if I over-did and didn't rest like I should. Being PG w/ twins is very hard on your body, much harder than 2 closely spaced pregnancies! Your chances of complications are much higher, both for pregnancy and for delivery. It's common knowledge, you can find books on twin pregnancies in the library. I wouldn't want you to romanticize twin pregnancy or having twins. It's hard on the entire family, not just you. It should be a group decision made w/ both you and your DH, b/c he's going to have to step in and help out a LOT for at least 2 years or so. I also suffered some 'trauma' to my body, my back has never been the same, but it serioulsy HURT for about 6 months after delivery. I also have a very large diastis, where the muscles separate in the middle, pretty much down my entire stomach. I do exercises that help, but it will never be the same and it could cause problems at any time according to my Dr. (and I won't mention the stretch marks b/c those arne't as important, but they are BAD, pretty much my entire stomach) I hate my post-twin tummy. HATE IT!

All that said, I actually had a really good twin pregnancy! I was never on bedrest, didn't have GD, or any real problems at all. I had no complications, babies were born vaginally at 6-11 and 6-15, and home the next day (though to be honest the delivery wasn't the best by far, it was the worst of my 4 deliveries, singletons are much easier). No oxygen, ect. (know this is NOT the norm, I am very fortunate). My OB said most twins come between 35 and 37 weeks... mine wer e37w3d. I did rest and pretty much made myself put the babies as the #1 priority starting aroudn 17 weeks. Everything else that could wait, did. That's why I say you and your DH will have to work together on this, it's just as big of a change for him as it is for you.

As for when the babies came home.. that's all a blur! It was crazy-busy. I did nurse and CD them both, and I am so fortunate to have them. Mine were natural, so it wasn't like I chose to have them. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I also don't necessarily think that I would jump at the chance to have them again You say you feel cheated... well so did I. I felt like I was just too busy to enjoy them b/c someone always needed something and I took care of them all by myself all the time! My entire life was pretty much nurse, change, play, fix older kids snacks/meals, wash the mountain of laundry (I iddn't have time to fold it ), ect. I felt cheated, like I didn't get to experience that special baby-time with the boys, so I had one more, just so I could end it on a good note.

So, make sure you know what you are doing. If you've had other healthy pregnancies, and your problem isn't actually getting PG, I would transfer just one. If you have problems w/ babies sticking, I could see transfering 2, just know tha tyou could end up w/ twins or triplets! Best of luck no matter what you decide.