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Old 12-11-2012, 07:42 AM   #61
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

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I've been trying to talk with my sister, but she can only do so much. She sees a counsiler and very much recommends it. Unfortunately, I can't get it for free, but VA Medicaid will cover 26 sessions per year. I can't get Medicaid until I get a pregnancy confirmation. The closest place I can get one is 2.7 miles away (I have to walk with my two kids, no license and my sister and BIL work from 7am to 6pm) and I can't get in until NOVEMBER 7. And it costs $75 because I'm a new patient. I feel like so many things are stacking against me I think there is a free clinic, but it's 14 miles away...

I didn't think about the divorce... Again, I know for a fact he'll try to have it done no later than June, which is a problem because I'm due May 26. I really need a damn shrink
Would it be possible to take a bus? Just a thought.

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Old 12-11-2012, 07:43 AM   #62
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

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I know I can get a bus pass, not sure of anything else. The closest bus stop is 1.5 miles away, which isn't too bad I guess... But I can't get on Medicaid until I get the pregnancy confirmation.
Just read this. Try contacting a church to see if they can help?
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Old 12-11-2012, 08:11 AM   #63
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

I think it is your responsibility to notify your husband and the man believe to be the baby's father. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but my personal feeling is that it would be incredibly selfish for you to decide that a child should not have the option of knowing or being raised by a biological/genetic parent. I also think you would be doing the child & possible adoptive parents a HUGE disservice if as time passes the child's father does find out.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:09 PM   #64
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

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I'm mobile, but will try to look it up when I'm at a computer. I believe the case is known as Baby Emma and its now in Virginia although mother signed under Utah law ( a state where dad doesn't have to be notified).
The father does have to be notified in Utah if the father is known. It can be done through publication or certified mail if the location of the father is known. Please know the laws before saying what you think you know. If the birth father does not take the necessary steps w/in 30 days of when the placement is made, then his rights are terminated. Any baby placed w/o the birth father signing his rights himself in Utah is a legal risk placement until that time frame has passed. The problem with the case of Baby Emma is that it was a married situation where the husband and wife were estranged. The mother did not inform the agency of the correct address of her husband even though she knew where he was. This is why there's such a huge legal battle over it all -- the biological mother lied. The father assumed his wife had an abortion and found out about the baby being placed because the adoptive couple was trying to find him so that the papers could be signed. When they found him, he didn't want to sign because he hadn't know the baby was still alive and had been placed. Anyway, just saying that there is a notification law in Utah's adoption law.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:24 PM   #65
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

I agree with those who suggest counseling then make decisions. You have 8 more months to decide who you want to tell, where the baby will live, etc. You have been mistreated terribly and need support. I would not speak to anyone except a counselor about the pregnancy until you know your options legally. You are only 5 weeks along. Anything can happen. I do think that adoption could be a sure way to give a family a wonderful gift and turn this negative into a positive But be sure about what you want before any final decisions are made. You are so strong!
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:33 PM   #66
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

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Originally Posted by cdeweese View Post
I agree with those who suggest counseling then make decisions. You have 8 more months to decide who you want to tell, where the baby will live, etc. You have been mistreated terribly and need support. I would not speak to anyone except a counselor about the pregnancy until you know your options legally. You are only 5 weeks along. Anything can happen. I do think that adoption could be a sure way to give a family a wonderful gift and turn this negative into a positive But be sure about what you want before any final decisions are made. You are so strong!
Um, did you notice the original post was written in September? Now it being December, she would be in the second trimester by now.
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Old 12-13-2012, 07:42 PM   #67
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Re: Found out I'm pregnant, thinking of adopting out...

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Originally Posted by L&A'smommy View Post
I'm probably not going to be liked for this response but if the father wants the baby he has the right to raise his child. You should not be keeping it a secret and trying to do adoption without his knowledge.

If you are being promised an "open" adoption remember that open adoptions aren't enforceable and they can cut contact at anytime for any reason.

Just wanted to put those two points out there.
This. True story. As much as it SUUUUCKS, legally, he has rights. I commend you for thinking of your child in this situation, but something else to add into the consideration is what if the baby grows up with this beautiful, perfect, loving family, and then Rebound finds out about it when the kiddo is...say...6 years old? That is if you can find an attorney to take care of it without his knowledge. He will be able to legally disrupt their family and tear that child's world apart because his rights were violated by the adoption and he never had a chance to exercise them. It would be a terrible, sticky mess, ESP for the baby whose family and world is ripped at the seams. ( I'm so sorry you have to deal with this mess.
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:31 AM   #68
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OP, are you ok? Hope you are feeling well!!
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