Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

[Fairycat]

Originally Posted by Joyful Tie Dyes I have to agree. And Terra I have always liked you but this latest "non-judgmental" version of you just seems like you judge EVERYONE now instead of just some people. Seeing you post how "label-free" and perfect you are now in EVERY post you make is getting REALLY REALLY old. I find your posts now FAR more judgmental and preachy now than ever.

I hate to agree but I do. I hope you find a happier balance Terra for yourself, cause this last version has been a big turn off, and doesn't feel like you are truely happy.

[NiNi]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes no i was saying that is another one of the things that people do that i dont respect them for

Thanks for clearing it up (genuine. Not snarky lol)

sent from my iPhone. excuse all typos

[DesertRat]

Originally Posted by tinytushi I have a question. My first son born several years ago we had circ'd. I honestly did not realize there was an option. I am now pregnant again, and while to early to know if I am having boy or girl I feel it is a boy. After my sons circ he was practically comatose for 3 days whereas before he was awake and eating. This led me to believe we had done a BAD thing. However, I have heard horror stories of little boys that the foreskin grows closed if not circ'd and it is a major procedure to have to have done when they are older. I mean more intense than done while as a baby with more surgery involved. I have also heard that intact males can give their wives cancer. After researching I find ALOT of contradictory information. Can anyone give me any insight? Links to read? Anything that can help set my mind at ease to not circ? With my DS I cried for days afterwards, but I also want to know the likelihood of having to circ as an older child if we do not do it as a newborn. Meaning complications that could arise and if those complications are preventable such as the foreskin growing closed.

You'll find pros and cons both ways. They say there's a higher risk of stds and UTIs or cancer if you're intact. But some studies say your risk of having a complication because of the circumcision is slightly higher than the risk of having a problem with your foreskin. For me it's a gamble. Neither decision is a guarantee you'll never have a problem.

For me, the most eye-opening thing was to learn what the foreskin actually does. You never hear about that in conversation about why circ'ing is better. It's left out completely, so people assume it's extra skin that doesn't do anything, and that it doesn't affect the penis when it's removed. If you do a google search for "function of the foreskin" you'll be surprised at what you find. It's actually rather fascinating. And I think if more people knew what the foreskin was there for, they wouldn't be so quick to cut it off.

It's like making an argument for removing ones fingernails. Without fingernails we wouldn't have to cut them regularly or clean under them. We wouldn't have to worry about babies scratching their poor faces with them. But, that seems absurd when you think about the good fingernails do-- you can scratch your back, or pick your nose and open coke cans. Nobody would want to give up their fingernails! But cutting off the foreskin has become so normal in our society, that people don't even think about or question that there might be major drawbacks to it. Sure, adult men have to clean a little more carefully, but IMO it would be worth having.

In the end my philosophy is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Until my sons have a problem with their foreskins (which is statistically very unlikely) they are going to keep theirs.

[NiNi]

Originally Posted by DesertRat You'll find pros and cons both ways. They say there's a higher risk of stds and UTIs or cancer if you're intact. But some studies say your risk of having a complication because of the circumcision is slightly higher than the risk of having a problem with your foreskin. For me it's a gamble. Neither decision is a guarantee you'll never have a problem. For me, the most eye-opening thing was to learn what the foreskin actually does. You never hear about that in conversation about why circ'ing is better. It's left out completely, so people assume it's extra skin that doesn't do anything, and that it doesn't affect the penis when it's removed. If you do a google search for "function of the foreskin" you'll be surprised at what you find. It's actually rather fascinating. And I think if more people knew what the foreskin was there for, they wouldn't be so quick to cut it off. It's like making an argument for removing ones fingernails. Without fingernails we wouldn't have to cut them regularly or clean under them. We wouldn't have to worry about babies scratching their poor faces with them. But, that seems absurd when you think about the good fingernails do-- you can scratch your back, or pick your nose and open coke cans. Nobody would want to give up their fingernails! But cutting off the foreskin has become so normal in our society, that people don't even think about or question that there might be major drawbacks to it. Sure, adult men have to clean a little more carefully, but IMO it would be worth having. In the end my philosophy is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Until my sons have a problem with their foreskins (which is statistically very unlikely) they are going to keep theirs.

This is one of the most kind hearted and NON JUDGMENTAL answers to the circing question I have ever seen. If more answers were like this...informative not attacking!!!!....I'm sure a lot more people would "hear out" intactivists. Thank you for this answer.

sent from my iPhone. excuse all typos

[DesertRat]

Originally Posted by NiNi This is one of the most kind hearted and NON JUDGMENTAL answers to the circing question I have ever seen. If more answers were like this...informative not attacking!!!!....I'm sure a lot more people would "hear out" intactivists. Thank you for this answer. sent from my iPhone. excuse all typos

Well, thank you. It's taken a lot of practice over the years because I know it's a touchy subject. I know that every parent that circumcises their baby believes they are doing the best thing for them. My anger and irritation is with the medical system in general. Back in the day when DH was born it was often done without parents' consent. Or parents were told it was the best/only choice for their child and they didn't have any way of finding information on their own to make an informed decision.Then, intact boys were being forcibly retracted b/c doctors said that was how to do it, which led to problems and late circumcisions which only fueled the idea that circumcision at birth is better. A whole generation of boys was circumcised because parents had to take their doctor's word for it. And now, it's so mainstream, that getting people to look at circumcision as anything other than "normal" is going to take a lot of work.

Though I'm actually surprised at how quickly attitudes are shifting. I really think that in another 10 years circumcision will not be normal at all.

[Joyful Tie Dyes]

Originally Posted by DesertRat You'll find pros and cons both ways. They say there's a higher risk of stds and UTIs or cancer if you're intact. But some studies say your risk of having a complication because of the circumcision is slightly higher than the risk of having a problem with your foreskin. For me it's a gamble. Neither decision is a guarantee you'll never have a problem. For me, the most eye-opening thing was to learn what the foreskin actually does. You never hear about that in conversation about why circ'ing is better. It's left out completely, so people assume it's extra skin that doesn't do anything, and that it doesn't affect the penis when it's removed. If you do a google search for "function of the foreskin" you'll be surprised at what you find. It's actually rather fascinating. And I think if more people knew what the foreskin was there for, they wouldn't be so quick to cut it off. It's like making an argument for removing ones fingernails. Without fingernails we wouldn't have to cut them regularly or clean under them. We wouldn't have to worry about babies scratching their poor faces with them. But, that seems absurd when you think about the good fingernails do-- you can scratch your back, or pick your nose and open coke cans. Nobody would want to give up their fingernails! But cutting off the foreskin has become so normal in our society, that people don't even think about or question that there might be major drawbacks to it. Sure, adult men have to clean a little more carefully, but IMO it would be worth having. In the end my philosophy is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Until my sons have a problem with their foreskins (which is statistically very unlikely) they are going to keep theirs.

Fabulous post!!

[MommyToTwoPrinces]

Unfortunately, I didn't do the proper research of circumcision and I did circumcise. I feel judged now that I'm anti-cir people always judge me because now that I've done the research I'm always tell people DONT DO IT and all future boys will not be circ. People always tell me I can't "change my mind about something like that"

[delicatefade]

My answer to the question: No, I don't feel judged. The topic rarely, if ever, comes up. And if it does, 99% of people here do NOT circ anyway, so it's not really a big deal. In fact, Doctors don't ask or offer. If you want it done, you have to seek it out.

But I can't help but think of something else while reading through this whole thread. Most of us believe that it's our son's body, so it's his choice, right? I mean, we wouldn't want to alter his body without his consent. I was wondering if there is any connection between those that are anti circ and pro life. My thought was that if we are so darn concerned about penises because it's HIS body, shouldn't we be pro life too? Giving that life a chance? At least in our own families. I'm not talking about projecting our beliefs on others. It breaks my heart to think that some people care more about penises being whole than lives being allowed to be lived.

[DesertRat]

Originally Posted by delicatefade But I can't help but think of something else while reading through this whole thread. Most of us believe that it's our son's body, so it's his choice, right? I mean, we wouldn't want to alter his body without his consent. I was wondering if there is any connection between those that are anti circ and pro life. My thought was that if we are so darn concerned about penises because it's HIS body, shouldn't we be pro life too? Giving that life a chance? At least in our own families. I'm not talking about projecting our beliefs on others. It breaks my heart to think that some people care more about penises being whole than lives being allowed to be lived.

That's a whole 'nother can o' worms you don't wanna open here.

[ajane]

Originally Posted by DesertRat You'll find pros and cons both ways. They say there's a higher risk of stds and UTIs or cancer if you're intact. But some studies say your risk of having a complication because of the circumcision is slightly higher than the risk of having a problem with your foreskin. For me it's a gamble. Neither decision is a guarantee you'll never have a problem. For me, the most eye-opening thing was to learn what the foreskin actually does. You never hear about that in conversation about why circ'ing is better. It's left out completely, so people assume it's extra skin that doesn't do anything, and that it doesn't affect the penis when it's removed. If you do a google search for "function of the foreskin" you'll be surprised at what you find. It's actually rather fascinating. And I think if more people knew what the foreskin was there for, they wouldn't be so quick to cut it off. It's like making an argument for removing ones fingernails. Without fingernails we wouldn't have to cut them regularly or clean under them. We wouldn't have to worry about babies scratching their poor faces with them. But, that seems absurd when you think about the good fingernails do-- you can scratch your back, or pick your nose and open coke cans. Nobody would want to give up their fingernails! But cutting off the foreskin has become so normal in our society, that people don't even think about or question that there might be major drawbacks to it. Sure, adult men have to clean a little more carefully, but IMO it would be worth having. In the end my philosophy is "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Until my sons have a problem with their foreskins (which is statistically very unlikely) they are going to keep theirs.

OMG. That has to be the WORST analogy I've ever heard. Now, thanks to you I have this HORRIBLE 1000000000000000000000 times worse than nails on the chalkboard feeling.

I really don't think I will recover today. I know it is so true, lol, but holy cow.......the thought!!!!

Oh, and b/c it is the internet, I mean absolutely nothing negative or negative to you. You just left me in pain!