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Old 10-06-2012, 10:56 AM   #31
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Dh's family all circ. my family does not. I have 2 brothers that are not circ. his family makes comments but I ignore them and tell them I will not subject my son to a useless surgical procedure not to mention no anesthesia is used where we lived. They don't say much anymore. I preg with our 3rd son and he will remain intact also.

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Old 10-06-2012, 10:57 AM   #32
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.
Just because she holds that opinion doesn't mean she chooses to use those words when talking to others. Her description of how she deals with it certainly implies she educates in a respectful manner. I think it's mutilation too, but I don't use that word when I educate. But when it comes down to it, if people say nasty things about our kids normal penises, they get what's coming to them. If the reality makes them feel guilty, maybe they should look at themselves and not the person whose opinion made them think.

I've NEVER brought up circ first. It's always other people who bring it up. So if they have the balls to bring it up, considering it's not really any of their business, they should be ready to hear opinions they don't like. Some people believe it's mutilation. I've heard WAY worse coming from the pro-circ crowd. My own sister told me I was "sick" for not circ'ing.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:41 AM   #33
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

The opposite, actually. I wonder if anyone would judge that DS is not intact, because I feel like spilling the whole story if it's brought up at all. We had no intention of circumcising, but DS was born with a hypospadias. He basically had no foreskin to speak of because of it and the TINY bit there was, his urologist used during his reconstruction surgery. He now looks like a normal, circ'd boy (I think? No real experience there as intact is the norm in our families) but it wasn't really an option. The doctor said they could reconstruct a foreskin for him but it would require grafts from secondary sites, multiple surgeries and may fail, so we opted not to. At some point, we will have to explain to him why he looks different than daddy, but at least he's unlikely to be the only boy in his gym class/hockey team/whatever to be "circumcised".

I don't want people to think I mutilated my son. If he had had a foreskin, he would still have it.

Last edited by Mommy to Eli and Baby#2; 10-06-2012 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:47 AM   #34
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The only judgments we've received is from our parents. Both sides were very vocally against us keeping our son intact... I finally had to put my foot down and tell everyone to back off and stop being so concerned with the state of my infant's penis! It was really ridiculous and I heard the good old "omg he isn't going to look like his father and he will get picked on in the locker room" and I responded by turning to DH and asking him if he's ever seen his dad's penis and if he had ever seen another penis in the lockerroom in high school... Bet you can guess what the answers were to those!
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:48 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaunam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terra
I'm pretty sure with your attitude and view that people mutilate their child, they wouldn't want to spend time with you as well. No wonder people are turned off by activists who are rude.
Just because she holds that opinion doesn't mean she chooses to use those words when talking to others. Her description of how she deals with it certainly implies she educates in a respectful manner. I think it's mutilation too, but I don't use that word when I educate. But when it comes down to it, if people say nasty things about our kids normal penises, they get what's coming to them. If the reality makes them feel guilty, maybe they should look at themselves and not the person whose opinion made them think.

I've NEVER brought up circ first. It's always other people who bring it up. So if they have the balls to bring it up, considering it's not really any of their business, they should be ready to hear opinions they don't like. Some people believe it's mutilation. I've heard WAY worse coming from the pro-circ crowd. My own sister told me I was "sick" for not circ'ing.
Thanks Shaunam! I thought that earlier reply was pretty rude.

The definition of mutilate is to injure by depriving of or harming a part, so it's a technically accurate description for circumcision. I've never used that word in a conversation with others - as a matter of fact, I already quoted what I DO say in circumstances where the conversation is brought up, and I think it's pretty mild TBH.

I also don't consider myself an "activist" in the least, since I never make mention of it unless someone else brings it up. Also, no one has ever been noticeably "turned off" by what I have to say regarding circumcision.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:58 AM   #36
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I don't have a son - people really discuss this? I have tons of friends with sons and I have never heard it come up.

I figure it's the same as anything that you believe in.
This I also have all girls so maybe I'm outta the loop on this but I;m suprised this is even a recurring conversation.
As far as Jr High/High school first off I have yet to be in a school that actually does shower after gym class we never did but it might be diffrent in diffrent states/places if he does I seriously doubt that 1 they will spend the time staring and comparing (other than normal were teen type talk) and I'm betting he wont be alone group 30+ boys together and I bet you'll end up with a decent mix.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:13 PM   #37
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

During a local breastfeeding group when my son was just weeks old a breastfeeding peer counselor asked me how he healed from his circ, and I proudly said "We didn't circumcise." She was a little shocked/surprised. I told her it was absolutely medically unnecessary and I refused to put my son through a traumatic and excruciatingly painful procedure for cosmetic reasons. She was intrigued and even asked... "It's probably a really weird question... but do you mind if I see?" I said not at all and invited her over. I showed her my son's intact penis, I told her it is NOT dirty at all and showed her as I was wiping and cleaning that there is no special care. I then also explained to her where and how they'd cut it off, ripping the foreskin away from the glands and slicing it off. She winced. And she made the comment herself of "wow.. they really take THAT much skin off?" She's the only person so far that I've talked to in person taht was interested in learning more. I was so, so excited to educate her. Most people are too uncomfortable to talk about it.

I live in a area with a VERY VERY high circ rate - like still around 80% or higher probably. I'm vocal on my facebook page. I've been unfriended and I've even been called a "retard."

The truth is.. it is very, very difficult to be friends or friendly to people who mutilate their children. If a parent who chose genital mutilation looked at me like I was the freak, I'd think very, very, very little of their unfounded, ignorant opinion. It wouldn't affect me as far as my security in my decision to protect my child from genital mutilation, but it would make me very, very sad for their children and it'd greatly diminish any respect I may have had for them.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:18 PM   #38
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

My nook hates me.

For those who wonder how the topic comes up, I must say it has for me in two ways and neither involved diaper changes. First I am originally from the US Ds was born in California.

The first who brought it up, did so rather shyly and timidly, she asked if I had thought about circumcision when I was pregnant, I told her we had decided to not circ Ds. She let out a sigh of relief, and said good! She did her first Ds and deeply regreted it, she kept he other sons intact and helped her sister to leave her sons intact as well. This is a very long time friend, she knew I respected her parenting advice, and was glad she brought it up.

The second time it has come up, has been a couple of times when a parent had circ issues or healing questions, in some of the Moms groups I was in. The first group had only one other parent who had also had 1 older son circed and intact younger sons, the other group had one other circing mother and one 1 older/ intact younger parent. In California the stats were dropping and still are in regards to circs, noncircing immigrant families and lack of medicaid payout have dropped the numbers to 70%/30% last I saw, more intact to circed.

Here Ds would be a rarity if he had been circed with all the naked kids playing in the fountains, seriously tons haha, the other kidsmight notice pretty much it is just not done over here.

Last edited by Fairycat; 10-06-2012 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:25 PM   #39
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

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I am in a local multiples group and all the ladies are always talking about their baby boy circumcision experiences, and sometimes I feel like if I were to tell them mine weren't I would be looked at like a freak. Now on one hand I really don't care what other people think, on the other I kinda do . I guess the other thing that scares me is; are my boys going to be the odd ones out? What happens in JH and HS when they have to shower after gym?

I really feel like I made the right decision for my boys...I just hope they feel that way too!
First, to be upfront, we circ, so I don't belong in this thread but I was curious. Second, really?? People in your local group talk about it all the time? I know parents who circ, and parents who don't, but it's not something we really bring up and discuss. I figure it's no ones business either way really. I can't see them judging you or thinking you were a freak for not circ-ing. I do think it's somewhat regional, so maybe I'm wrong, but I don't judge other kiddos (or their parents) because they don't circ.

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Old 10-06-2012, 12:53 PM   #40
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

Both of my boys are intact. I had a friend say if she had a boy she would cir. him just because she said it was gross to have him not. I would have understood more if she had looked in to the reasons to do it and not to do it and made a imformed choice. My sister in law had her boys cir. I think its the norm here. But no one really talks about it it not like we talk about girls parts and how they look.
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