Diaper Swappers

ArmyWifeBethany · 10-18-2012, 12:17 PM

Thanks, everyone!! I appreciate all the support! You have no idea how much it means to me, especially after how much grief I was given from people over "choosing" not to breastfeed. I will never forget my midwife (also a LC) wiping my tears away at my 6week PP appointment and telling me my body fought to survive a major trauma, and it just simply couldn't and didn't produce milk afterwards. It helped but still didn't temper the sting I felt every time it was implied that I was lazy or didn't try hard enough. Some people just have no ability to feel compassion for others' hardships, so I really do thank you for your kind words. :-)

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happysmileylady · 10-18-2012, 12:22 PM

My goodness, thats a lot to go through! I would think you were more crazy if you didn't want a scheduled C section.

ArmyWifeBethany · 10-18-2012, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

My goodness, thats a lot to go through! I would think you were more crazy if you didn't want a scheduled C section.

Ha! That's kind of my thinking, too! ;-)

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southernbelle04 · 10-18-2012, 12:29 PM

Not at all. If we have a third, I am choosing a repeat c/s, in spite of having a VBAC. My recovery was much worse with the VBAC (4th degree tear, then an infection) than my c/s recovery. DD2 also had complications with her heartrate dipping dangerously low while I pushed. It became one of those "get this baby out now or we're headed to the OR" situations. I had to have a vacuum assist and then her shoulder became stuck. She was also monitored in the NICU a few hours. My birth experience was much more dramatic and scary with the VBAC. I'm not sure I could go through all of that again. I was in a daze during the whole thing (from both exhaustion & stress).

ArmyWifeBethany · 10-18-2012, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernbelle04

Not at all. If we have a third, I am choosing a repeat c/s, in spite of having a VBAC. My recovery was much worse with the VBAC (4th degree tear, then an infection) than my c/s recovery. DD2 also had complications with her heartrate dipping dangerously low while I pushed. It became one of those "get this baby out now or we're headed to the OR" situations. I had to have a vacuum assist and then her shoulder became stuck. She was also monitored in the NICU a few hours. My birth experience was much more dramatic and scary with the VBAC. I'm not sure I could go through all of that again. I was in a daze during the whole thing (from both exhaustion & stress).

See, that's what I'm afraid of! I'd rather just avoid all the stress and trauma to begin with. And honestly, I just want to take the easy way out. I kinda feel like I deserve it after my first experience! ;-)

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shan1212 · 10-18-2012, 08:00 PM

Even if you try for a VBAC, you have a +/- 30% chance of having a repeat C (and having labored beforehand). As you can tell from my avatar I've had a c/s and a vbac, and I'm glad I had the vbac, but in your shoes I think I'd strongly consider a repeat c/s. Birth is just one of those things where you can prepare only so much, and there are elements you just can't control. So you shouldn't feel any guilt about making a decision to have a repeat c/s when you can't guarantee that you wouldn't have one even by trying for a vbac. If a vaginal birth is important to you, then I support you trying for it, but if you have a strong preference for a repeat c/s, then I'd do that.

OK, I just thought of one thing . . . do you want to have a lot more children? If you want to have several more c-sections after this one, then I'd talk with your doctor about his/her recommendation. I have a friend who just had a horrible experience with placenta accreta with her third pregnancy. She said no one had given her any information on that when she was electing to have her second c/s. But as long as you are making an informed decision, then don't worry about what any other people think!

raisingcropsandbabies · 10-19-2012, 04:09 AM

My c-sections have been a lot more peaceful than my vaginal birth (a severe shoulder dystocia) was. And my babies are healthier for it... that said, I am not. Like a PP asked, do you plan to have more c-sections after this one?

I had a lot of adhesions after my 2nd c-section and it was very painful all the way up until I had my 3rd c-section. It was a rockier c-section because of it and had some other complications. They removed a lot of scar tissue which was great for a few months, but I am afraid I'm starting to have adhesion pain again and I think it's attached to my small intestine (I feel it when I eat too much, have gas, work on my abs, etc). I just don't feel put back together since my 3rd c-section. It has me really debating and cringing at the thought of a 4th c/s... DH is against it because he hates seeing me in pain, but I'd love a 5th baby. Of course, I'd have c-sections all over again because of my first son's issues and my inadequate pelvis, I just didn't know much about adhesions before my c-s (and I'm active and walk right after and frequently and all that).

So weigh your options carefully if you want more children. I totally understand being worried you would labor again and need one anyway (happened with my 2nd c-section and I was tired, but mainly so glad to have that thing out of me!!!). ((big hugs)).

Oh and totally get being unable to breastfeed (that is me... only make 2 tbsp. of breastmilk per feeding, no matter what I try and take). It really sucks.

UmmKira · 10-19-2012, 09:16 AM

You are not horrible in the slightest. I hope you can have the same midwife because she sounds amazing, and she can probably help you put everything in perspective and see if it is likely it will happen again. I totally get wanted to just have a planned c-section, but if that's an emotional response to something that might not be logical (the likelihood of it happening again), then she can help you work through that.

Even if you chose to get a c-section and it wasn't likely to have the same labor as before, I think most people would completely understand, including myself.

ArmyWifeBethany · 10-20-2012, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shan1212

OK, I just thought of one thing . . . do you want to have a lot more children? If you want to have several more c-sections after this one, then I'd talk with your doctor about his/her recommendation. I have a friend who just had a horrible experience with placenta accreta with her third pregnancy. She said no one had given her any information on that when she was electing to have her second c/s. But as long as you are making an informed decision, then don't worry about what any other people think!

We are planning on 1 or 2 more children in the future (I think...LOL)

ArmyWifeBethany · 10-20-2012, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UmmKira

You are not horrible in the slightest. I hope you can have the same midwife because she sounds amazing, and she can probably help you put everything in perspective and see if it is likely it will happen again. I totally get wanted to just have a planned c-section, but if that's an emotional response to something that might not be logical (the likelihood of it happening again), then she can help you work through that.

Even if you chose to get a c-section and it wasn't likely to have the same labor as before, I think most people would completely understand, including myself.

I wish I could have the same midwife! We are a military family, and we moved from OK to NY this summer. I would give ANYTHING to deliver my next baby at the hospital where I had my daughter. I loved all the midwives there, and I still keep in touch with them. SIGH. I miss them! :-(

10-18-2012, 12:17 PM	#11
ArmyWifeBethany Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Watertown, New York Posts: 400 Ratings: 6 Feedback: 100%	Thanks, everyone!! I appreciate all the support! You have no idea how much it means to me, especially after how much grief I was given from people over "choosing" not to breastfeed. I will never forget my midwife (also a LC) wiping my tears away at my 6week PP appointment and telling me my body fought to survive a major trauma, and it just simply couldn't and didn't produce milk afterwards. It helped but still didn't temper the sting I felt every time it was implied that I was lazy or didn't try hard enough. Some people just have no ability to feel compassion for others' hardships, so I really do thank you for your kind words. :-) Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum __________________ Bethany Southern Mama, Dog Lover, DUKE Fan

10-18-2012, 12:22 PM	#12
happysmileylady Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 5,858 Ratings: 9 Feedback: 100%	Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s? My goodness, thats a lot to go through! I would think you were more crazy if you didn't want a scheduled C section. __________________ Kim-married to Dan Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12. Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!

10-18-2012, 12:29 PM	#14
southernbelle04 Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Virginia Posts: 1,364 Ratings: 41 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s? Not at all. If we have a third, I am choosing a repeat c/s, in spite of having a VBAC. My recovery was much worse with the VBAC (4th degree tear, then an infection) than my c/s recovery. DD2 also had complications with her heartrate dipping dangerously low while I pushed. It became one of those "get this baby out now or we're headed to the OR" situations. I had to have a vacuum assist and then her shoulder became stuck. She was also monitored in the NICU a few hours. My birth experience was much more dramatic and scary with the VBAC. I'm not sure I could go through all of that again. I was in a daze during the whole thing (from both exhaustion & stress). __________________ Johanna, 'ing, BF'ing SAHM to Caitlyn, 7-17-09 & Abigail, 1-14-12

10-18-2012, 08:00 PM	#16
shan1212 Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 399 Ratings: 16 Feedback: 100%	Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s? Even if you try for a VBAC, you have a +/- 30% chance of having a repeat C (and having labored beforehand). As you can tell from my avatar I've had a c/s and a vbac, and I'm glad I had the vbac, but in your shoes I think I'd strongly consider a repeat c/s. Birth is just one of those things where you can prepare only so much, and there are elements you just can't control. So you shouldn't feel any guilt about making a decision to have a repeat c/s when you can't guarantee that you wouldn't have one even by trying for a vbac. If a vaginal birth is important to you, then I support you trying for it, but if you have a strong preference for a repeat c/s, then I'd do that. OK, I just thought of one thing . . . do you want to have a lot more children? If you want to have several more c-sections after this one, then I'd talk with your doctor about his/her recommendation. I have a friend who just had a horrible experience with placenta accreta with her third pregnancy. She said no one had given her any information on that when she was electing to have her second c/s. But as long as you are making an informed decision, then don't worry about what any other people think! __________________ Shannon, Mommy to Claire (10/09) and Alice (vbac 3/12)

10-19-2012, 04:09 AM	#17
raisingcropsandbabies Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1,126 Ratings: 1 Feedback: 100%	Re: Am I horrible for WANTING a repeat c/s? My c-sections have been a lot more peaceful than my vaginal birth (a severe shoulder dystocia) was. And my babies are healthier for it... that said, I am not. Like a PP asked, do you plan to have more c-sections after this one? I had a lot of adhesions after my 2nd c-section and it was very painful all the way up until I had my 3rd c-section. It was a rockier c-section because of it and had some other complications. They removed a lot of scar tissue which was great for a few months, but I am afraid I'm starting to have adhesion pain again and I think it's attached to my small intestine (I feel it when I eat too much, have gas, work on my abs, etc). I just don't feel put back together since my 3rd c-section. It has me really debating and cringing at the thought of a 4th c/s... DH is against it because he hates seeing me in pain, but I'd love a 5th baby. Of course, I'd have c-sections all over again because of my first son's issues and my inadequate pelvis, I just didn't know much about adhesions before my c-s (and I'm active and walk right after and frequently and all that). So weigh your options carefully if you want more children. I totally understand being worried you would labor again and need one anyway (happened with my 2nd c-section and I was tired, but mainly so glad to have that thing out of me!!!). ((big hugs)). Oh and totally get being unable to breastfeed (that is me... only make 2 tbsp. of breastmilk per feeding, no matter what I try and take). It really sucks.