My 15 yr old

[ktmelody]

I have teens as well. (Girls)


The age difference wouldnt bother me. I would be sure to meet her parents, have her in my home and get to know her. But I also wouldnt let my son (or daughter) in a car with a 17 year old driver. Just to risky.

One thing that makes me so sad is how girls are being made out to be "trappers" of boys who just want to get knocked up to trap a boy. I think that is pretty rare. And this girl is not your husbands old teenaged girlfriend. I would hate to think my daughters potential boyfriends parents would have such a view of girls. It takes 2 to tango and a girl never gets pregnant on her own ever. I was a teen mom. I did not trap my daughters father. In fact he fell off the face of the planet and deserted us. Which I think is way more common than the other scenario.

Sorry for the rant. You are the parent, you make the rules. If you dont like the girl or the age difference you can end (or try to) the relationship. Set clear boundaries. Talk about sex and hope for the best. It really is all you can do.

[l_Kimmie_l]

Originally Posted by ktmelody I have teens as well. (Girls) The age difference wouldnt bother me. I would be sure to meet her parents, have her in my home and get to know her. But I also wouldnt let my son (or daughter) in a car with a 17 year old driver. Just to risky. One thing that makes me so sad is how girls are being made out to be "trappers" of boys who just want to get knocked up to trap a boy. I think that is pretty rare. And this girl is not your husbands old teenaged girlfriend. I would hate to think my daughters potential boyfriends parents would have such a view of girls. It takes 2 to tango and a girl never gets pregnant on her own ever. I was a teen mom. I did not trap my daughters father. In fact he fell off the face of the planet and deserted us. Which I think is way more common than the other scenario. Sorry for the rant. You are the parent, you make the rules. If you dont like the girl or the age difference you can end (or try to) the relationship. Set clear boundaries. Talk about sex and hope for the best. It really is all you can do.

I do know that it takes two for sure. Boys need to be taught to always use condoms as many will trust a girl's birth control or that she is really on it. Many girls do not want to get pregnant, but some do. I worry about it. I think as a mom to boys, I worry about not only my son being irresponsible getting a girl pregnant, but I also worry about the girl who wants a baby and will do anything to get one.

I will not end the relationship as how can I really do that when they go to school and sports together? I also have to trust him and my parenting at some point. I just hope she is like your girls and not like others I used to know. I am sure if I had daughters I would have a whole different set of worries.

[mjg2043]

I guess I am confused. I am a career high school teacher and now administrator. I don't see a big deal with the age difference. The car thing is a bigger deal but not because of pregnancy. I also would worry a lot more about STDs which are much scarier IMHO.

You also said they have been "dating" like a week and have made the jump to her trapping him with a pregnancy. This seems like quite a leap considering you haven't even met this girl.

[calleiah]

I was once the 17 year old who liked a 15 year old. He was smart and sensitive and the opposite of the guy I had just spent two years dating. Please don't vilify her based on age alone! She may be a really nice girl who sees your son as a really nice caring boy. Get to know her! I got to know his mom and younger brothers and spend many many weekends with him and his family. And there was never any hanky panky either. We held hands and I kissed him on the cheek. That was all. The next year, he introduced me to the new kid as his church (my age) and that guy is now my hubby.

I know he is your baby, but he's also a young man, and you raised him and have talked to him. Give them both a chance without jumping to conclusions. Be open and honest. Invite her to dinner/family night so you can all hang out together.

[somo_chickenlady]

My niece started dating her boyfriend at around 15, I think. They are super responsible, and are both now in their junior year in college, and no kiddos for them so far. Sometimes you just have to trust them to do the right thing, do the best YOU can to keep them safe (offer birth control if they become sexually active) and if it doesn't work out and something happens...you just deal with it as it comes.

For the record, I dated at 15 year old (granted he was almost 16) when I was 17. I wasn't a pervert or a sexual deviant or anything. I was actually a virgin when I met him. I just liked him a lot b/c he was a really nice guy.

[somo_chickenlady]

Originally Posted by mjg2043 I guess I am confused. I am a career high school teacher and now administrator. I don't see a big deal with the age difference. The car thing is a bigger deal but not because of pregnancy. I also would worry a lot more about STDs which are much scarier IMHO. You also said they have been "dating" like a week and have made the jump to her trapping him with a pregnancy. This seems like quite a leap considering you haven't even met this girl.

I had ZERO interest in getting pregnant by my 15 year old boyfriend. I just liked him! I got the feeling that his parents felt the same way about me as you do about this girl, and it sucked. They should have considered themselves lucky with me, as the girl he broke up with me for actually did get pregnant.

[l_Kimmie_l]

I want to thank you all for your responses. They have calmed me down and helped me not worry about things that may not be the case. She seems like a nice girl. She is very athletic and tall like my son. I can see that they have quite a bit in common. She also is not high maintenece like his last girl friend.