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Old 10-19-2012, 01:00 PM   #1
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Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

well, one of my circle of friends. There were 6 of us out for dinner last night and low and behold the topic came up! One of my friends youngest child is a 2 year old boy. She was asking us how we potty train them, saying she forgot what she did with her older boy who is 6. A couple of the other ladies had some suggestions and talked about pointing the penis down. She said, yes...I do remember always having to point his down or otherwise he would pee all over the place. Then she asked me specifically what I do with Will. Ok, so he is intact and I don't ever have to hold his down or have him do it b/c it naturally goes that direction. I also know that what is done is done and I wasn't going to go into the circ/non circ thing. Sure, I like to spread the word and make sure people are aware that it isn't something you have to do b/c that is what has always been done, but I knew this wasn't the time/place for it. They are all done having kids. I also wasn't going to hide that he is intact either. So, I just told them that I don't have to hold his penis down or have him do it b/c with his anatomy it goes that direction naturally. Of course, they were more curious and asked exactly what I meant. So, I told them that he isn't circ'd. Yes, lots of questions were asked, but they were great about it. Just curious as to what made us decide not to. So, I told them......it isn't part of our religion, the urinary track and STD stats don't warrant us to do it, we aren't going to just b/c society implies that we should or that is what has always been done, and most importantly he was born the way he was supposed to be born. I wasn't going to remove any part of his body so he didn't look "gross or weird." Because he doesn't. They had asked more questions about how do you take care of it, one said "oh, yeah, I hear you have to push the forskin back to clean it." I told her actually, no you don't and that is one of the reasons that intact boys have problems b/c people forcible retract it. I share how to clean it (easy peasy like a finger) and why you don't retract it (that it will retract on its own when it is ready and if you do it before it is ready than it will cause the glands to be ripped apart before they are ready to do it on their own. I compared it to peeling skin off before it is ready to be peeled.) I also mentioned how the penis looses nerves when the foreskin is taken off and the tip becomes numb b/c it doesn't have the foreskin to protect it.

Then one of my friends said, oh, yeah.....my son isn't circ'd either. She is from a different country and they don't circ there. One of my more non filter or clueless friends said "oh, if your son isn't and they don't circ where you are from....what about your dh". Obviously, the REST of us had come to the conclusion that he wasn't. Not her. So, my friend said "no he isn't circ'd either." Now don't get me wrong, I love her to death, she just makes things a little more interesting.

The funny thing is that my friend whose son and dh are intact has only ever changed my ds besides her son. So she didn't ever think twice about his penis b/c that is normal for her. I'm glad I have a friend in my circle who comes from an intact background. Now if I ever have a question/concern I have someone IRL to ask.

So, yes....it can come up.....no, my friends and I are not perves or weirdo's b/c we talk about our son's penis'.....and now they have more info than they did yesterday at this time. Oh, and yes....we can talk about it and be respectful/helpful/informative.

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Old 10-19-2012, 01:48 PM   #2
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

I had a similar situation yesterday... eating lunch with a few friends at work who are also moms and one of them mentioned a friend of hers who didn't circ her sons and "one of them got all these infections and had to have it done at age 6! Isn't that awful!?!?" OK, that can happen, but it's rare and I couldn't just leave the rest of the women at the table with that being the only thing they have in their minds about non-circ'ed boys, so I spoke up. I just told them that my DS isn't circ'ed and he's never had an infection there. They asked why he isn't circ'ed and I told them the truth- it was a difficult decision for us and I ultimately followed our pediatrician's advice. We had a WONDERFUL pediatrician who saw our DD1 for the first 4 years of her life (until we moved) and I trusted him to give me an honest, research-based answer in the best interest of my DS. His advice was not to circ and he gave me enough facts about it to convince my DH. I'm so grateful. My DS was born perfect.
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Old 10-19-2012, 03:25 PM   #3
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

I've had the convo come up in both my "crunchy" and "mainstream" circles. Never really been a big deal, we're all respectful adults.
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Old 10-19-2012, 05:41 PM   #4
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

All of my irl friends who have boys left them intact, but a lot of my dh's work friends who don't have kids and don't really know anything about what they're running their mouths about have said a lot of stupid things. We never really even considered doing it, so I'm not an expert, but it just makes my blood boil to hear such ignorant opinions stated as fact. I mean, I don't really care what other people choose to do, but it's not "gross" or "dirty" either way.
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Old 10-19-2012, 06:52 PM   #5
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My DH and I were hanging out with some of his friends from high school this evening and it was the first time they had met our 3 month old son. One of his friends asked of we got him circ'd, we said no and then one of his other friends said that his son wasn't either. That was shocking to me but I was so impressed and happy that someone else in DH's inner circle was just as informed on the topic.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:58 PM   #6
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

It came up at my sons' birthday when a bunch of us moms were sitting around chatting. There were 5 of us - one with 2 sons (intact), me (2 sons intact), one with one cut and their second intact, one with a cut son and another boy on the way, and another with a cut son and no more kiddos planned. So, between the 5 of us there was an even split of what we did with our kids... It actually came up when one of my friends said she was done having babies and was going to have a tubal. I laughed that she should have her DH get the snip (our hubbys were in the other room). She said he was traumatized by being circed at age 6 after "getting all kinds of infections" and how his mom used to pull back his foreskin and clean it really well, but he kept getting infections and had to be circed. That is why they had their son "done" at birth so he wouldn't have to deal with all of that. I told her that pulling it back to "clean" is the equivalent of ripping the finger nail from the finger at every diaper change, and that you just leave it alone. I am glad I had the opportunity to at least say something about it in front of my friend who is expecting her second boy. I fear for him that they will have him cut. But, thankfully my other pro-natural friends (including the one whose first son was cut but refused to allow another child to go through that) were there to speak up, too. Never miss a chance to save a foreskin, right?
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Old 10-19-2012, 10:11 PM   #7
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

It's funny the dinner convos a group of mom's can have!
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Old 10-20-2012, 01:05 PM   #8
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

It has come up with me before IRL as well.
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Old 10-20-2012, 01:17 PM   #9
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I'm the only in my circle who hasn't...and they can be quite hurtful in their curiosity. Even drs! So glad it went the other way. And yes they always want to know about my hubby! Weird?!?

My mom is the worst! And refuses to change diapers! Gah!
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Old 10-20-2012, 02:05 PM   #10
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Re: Circumcision DID come up with my circle of friends...

Yup, I've had the conversation come up too. Its never been a big deal and always was friendly in nature, even when disagreeing.
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