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Old 10-27-2012, 12:39 PM   #1
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Angry I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

Here's how I feel about my yds, yes that cute little face in my avi...

Okay, he'll be 3 in Dec. HOWEVER, his whole little life he has been the one to push my buttons! Even as a baby. I know, I know, "but he was just a baby", BUT in my defense he was a very NEEDY baby. Well, now he's needy and whiney and flat out does NOT listen or have any attention span what so ever!

I don't even know where to start... so I'll just start with the present. Right now I have to sit in his room until he falls asleep at naptime because he plays. If he doesn't get a nap, LOOKOUT!!! I've been in here for an hour and he's still tossing and turning, not asleep. ODS (who's 4) fell asleep within 10min and he's the one that I could care less if he naps, but he's sick at the moment. Anyway, this is an everyday occurance, even at night. He's just a restless child, always has been. He is constantly crying or whinning about something! Yesterday he got put in timeout at daycare (by me) because he broke a toy on purpose! He played in time out and threw whatever he could get his hands on at me. He rolled up the rug so people would trip, he pulled the trash can liner apart, so out of anger I spanked him and he cried for about 2sec and did it again. I don't spank, usually. Another debate for another time I suppose, but time-outs don't work, taking privlages away doesn't work, charts don't work, rewards don't work, encouraging good behavior doesn't work, and now spanking doesn't work.

He's such a loveable kid otherwise and he's smart, but he just doesn't listen to anything. If he doesn't get his way he cries! We don't give into him, he actually gets sent to his room for throwing a tantrum and he can cry in there. I don't put up with it. Infact, now I've told his daycare providers to put him in timeout if he cries for not getting his way.


Even his teachers say he's great on his good days, but he's pretty naughty and defiant when he's having an off day. His attention span in nothing... I have to tell him 300x's to do something before he looks at me and says "what mom?"


Please tell me it's not just my son.. or is it?!?

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Old 10-27-2012, 12:56 PM   #2
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Re: I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

Does he respond to putting up a favorite toy when he acts out? I've gotten good results using a 1-2-3 Magic approach with taking a toy for the day as a consequence. My boys will still act on impulse sometimes (typical boy, right?) but it has been pretty effective overall. Good luck!

ETA: And no, you're not alone! DS2 is close to his age and can be a challenge.

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Old 10-27-2012, 01:01 PM   #3
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Re: I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

This is my #2 in the form of a little boy!!! I wish I could tell you the answers but I can say your not the only one I am sure they will grow out of it....
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Old 10-27-2012, 01:15 PM   #4
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I could have written this about my ODS. I was actually ready to have him evaluated for ADHD. Still may. In the last week, a switch flipped. He has his moments but no where near what it was. He is 4.5 and has been in pre k since August.

He was needy and the kid no one wanted to be around because he was either sweet or....

I tried a lot. Spanking made him act aggressive. Nothing else had lasting effects. We kind of had to do punishments on the fly to get what would affect him most. It is hard! I wish I had more suggestions. I have cried over this myself.
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Old 10-27-2012, 01:22 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel89411
I could have written this about my ODS. I was actually ready to have him evaluated for ADHD. Still may. In the last week, a switch flipped. He has his moments but no where near what it was. He is 4.5 and has been in pre k since August.

He was needy and the kid no one wanted to be around because he was either sweet or....

I tried a lot. Spanking made him act aggressive. Nothing else had lasting effects. We kind of had to do punishments on the fly to get what would affect him most. It is hard! I wish I had more suggestions. I have cried over this myself.
That's us. We do what works at the moment for him. He's so up an down its crazy! I could take a toy but it will only effect him for that very second. Then he's off to doing the next thing he knows he's not supposed to do. Grrrr!!!!!
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Old 10-27-2012, 01:30 PM   #6
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Re: I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

No advice for you, I just wanted to say that my ds is the exact same! He refuses to listen, has the attention span of a flea, and can't sit still if his life depended on it. Sometimes I do wonder if there is something more going on with him (like ADHD), but then I read posts like this and am pretty confident he's a normal 3 year old boy!
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Old 10-27-2012, 02:29 PM   #7
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Re: I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

Of the kids I've known like that, including my own, some do end up later being diagnosed with ADHD (treated mainly through diet), some have sensory issues, and some are totally normal with no added difficulties. It is very difficult to tell at that age.

You might try keeping a food journal to see if there is any correlation between what he's taking in and his behavior. If he's restless at night, try some melatonin. If he gets a good enough night's sleep, he might not need the afternoon nap.
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Old 10-27-2012, 02:35 PM   #8
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Re: I forgot I hate 3yo's!!! VENT!

This is my son too!! He turned 3 last week. And this has been him since birth. I hate the battle of not knowing what it going to work when.... He's so restless too!

We try to parent to his personality, but its draining. I just started a sticker chart, because well, nothing else was working, might as well try it. Its sorta working. as in he gets distracted by sticker 3, and the rewards are at sticker 5. haha. short attention span much?

like pp mentioned, we limit sugar, candy, red dye, cuz like you say, lookout!! and mine still needs the nap or else! but I cant get him down on a regular basis. He fights me for hours, I just dont have the time to do it.

hang in there. you are not alone!
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Old 10-27-2012, 02:40 PM   #9
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I teach this age group, if he were in my class he would be one of the youngest and this behavior would be a slight red flag to me. Whether I felt there were other issues would depend on other things. The behavior is not uncommon though.
Is he limited in his play? Only plays with certain toys certain ways
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Old 10-27-2012, 03:21 PM   #10
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I'm sorry mama. That makes for very long, difficult days. I would check in with some of the green/natural moms about eliminating foods from his diet that may be affecting him. Processed sugar an food dyes would be the first thing to go, but they might have other suggestions.
I do think it's definitely normal to an extent, but I would want to exhaust all possible options for calming him a bit. My almost 4yo DD has good days and bad days for sure. However, I can usually find something that gets her attention when she is acting out in a negative manner. My DS is just 16 months, but I can tell we are going to have our share of crazy days as he get older!
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