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Old 11-01-2012, 09:52 AM   #1
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I'm so tempted to wean

DS is 15 mos. I feel like nursing is negatively affecting our relationship. When he sees me all he sees are boobies. We co-sleep and he spends all night shoving his hands down my shirt or ripping at my clothes and screaming/ thrashing about when I cut him off. When DH takes him over to his side of the bed he's calm and sleeps peacefully. He really doesn't need to nurse at night. He also pulls at my clothes whenever I'm holding him and he can never be peaceful for me and just sit in my lap and play. When I get home from work he comes to the door, hurls his pacifier to the side, and wants to nurse. I can't even take off my shoes and put my stuff away without him screaming at my legs. He's such a different baby for DH (who stays at home). It's also impossible for me to put him to sleep. DH can lay him on his chest and he'll be out in 60 seconds. I'm mostly still nursing because I want to give him the extra nutritional boost (he doesn't always get all of his food groups every day). Plus his sister nursed until 19 mos (self weaned) and for some reason I feel bad cutting him off before he's ready. I need some help/guidance please.

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Old 11-01-2012, 08:52 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by BabyCentric
DS is 15 mos. I feel like nursing is negatively affecting our relationship. When he sees me all he sees are boobies. We co-sleep and he spends all night shoving his hands down my shirt or ripping at my clothes and screaming/ thrashing about when I cut him off. When DH takes him over to his side of the bed he's calm and sleeps peacefully. He really doesn't need to nurse at night. He also pulls at my clothes whenever I'm holding him and he can never be peaceful for me and just sit in my lap and play. When I get home from work he comes to the door, hurls his pacifier to the side, and wants to nurse. I can't even take off my shoes and put my stuff away without him screaming at my legs. He's such a different baby for DH (who stays at home). It's also impossible for me to put him to sleep. DH can lay him on his chest and he'll be out in 60 seconds. I'm mostly still nursing because I want to give him the extra nutritional boost (he doesn't always get all of his food groups every day). Plus his sister nursed until 19 mos (self weaned) and for some reason I feel bad cutting him off before he's ready. I need some help/guidance please.
All I can think of is, they are only babies once, and it doesn't last forever. BUT if its too much for you, then try to set some boundaries if you can. Sorry I don't have much more help. Are you ready to wean?
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Old 11-01-2012, 11:24 PM   #3
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Re: I'm so tempted to wean

I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel fed up with the constant pulling and shoving, other times I look at my sweet little guy looking up at me and I'm sad it will soon end. He's our last baby too.
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Old 11-02-2012, 04:04 AM   #4
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I wouldn't allow pulling and tugging all the time. Maybe set boundries, and teach "gentle".....or what about wearing him for part of the time, so he feels close, and gets his fill of mommy.
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Old 11-02-2012, 06:44 AM   #5
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I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel fed up with the constant pulling and shoving, other times I look at my sweet little guy looking up at me and I'm sad it will soon end. He's our last baby too.
I felt this way with DS, too.

No amount of discouraging or not allowing the rough behavior would get it to stop. Not a firm "NO", not constantly moving his hands, not cutting a nursing session short because he was being too rough - nothing. And he would never, EVER just calm down and play with me, let me read him a book, or just relax. I couldn't even sit on the floor with him because he would be clawing at my chest the whole time and totally uninterested in anything else. It was so frustrating!

Not to mention how differently he acted with DH... He has always been such a chill and relaxed baby with DH, but when DH isn't around he's this crazy high needs, super intense kid. I would be upset that I could NEVER get any personal space and DH would say stuff like "Just sit on the floor with him. He'll play." ugh.

Luckily I didn't have to really make the decision to wean - at about 8 weeks pregnant my milk supply tanked, and I knew DS was mostly dry nursing. So we scheduled a few busy days when DH was off work where we were just out and about. DS stayed busy/distracted and when we got home he was so tired he went right to bed (with DH putting him to sleep). After being distracted from nursing for a few days, it was like he totally forgot about it! It doesn't seem like he's missed it at all.

And honestly, he is so much more enjoyable to be around (for me). We can read books together, go on walks, play outside, do fun things INside, and none of it is interrupted or prevented by him trying to rip my shirt off. He was around 15-16 months when we weaned, I think. Before that, I cut out the very first feeding since he didn't have much of an appetite for breakfast and would rather just lay in bed and kick me and nurse. :P It has been a lot of fun to see his independence really blossom since we've weaned - before it was always an issue to ever leave him in the nursery at church or with a baby sitter because he would just cry and cry and as soon as I got back would insist on nursing. Now he has no problem hanging out with his favorite ladies at church and really shows an interest in the other kids instead of just "where's MOMMY?!?!"

Anyway... I think when it gets to the point where it's detrimental to your relationship, a burden or frustration more often then not, or just plain TOO MUCH, especially after your child has been nursing this long... It is absolutely okay to call it quits. I hope you guys can figure out something that works for you!
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Old 11-02-2012, 05:34 PM   #6
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Kelsey, that sounds JUST like my situation. My DH says the same thing. When I'm trying to relax and have some down time he's all over me. And not in a sweet, cuddly way, but he's throwing himself into my lap, pulling at me and whining. No amount of redirection works. I'm glad to hear your relationship improved. I hope I can say the same.
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Old 11-03-2012, 11:56 PM   #7
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Re: I'm so tempted to wean

I wouldn't discourage you from weaning him--and truth be told it can be easier with a 15-18 month old than a 2 year old, as they are more distractable and less strong-willed at that age, at least in my experience. *However* I will caution you that the hand-in-the-cleavage trick does not always go away with weaning. And as I am sure you know from your other kids, Mom usually gets the worst of the kid's behavior. I try to console myself with the idea that it means he knows I love him unconditionally :P So it may help (or not) with the behaviors you describe, but you've certainly done the one-year recommendation and the AAP says after that "as long as mutually desired." It has to work for both of you!

ETA--We have the same situation with the having to be ON me and climbing all over. As soon as I sit down, he's like a homing missile. >:
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Old 12-04-2012, 07:44 PM   #8
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Re: I'm so tempted to wean

My dd is the same. She's 13 months and was down to nursing twice a day, a.m. And before bed and now she won't let me be. She's trying to pull my shirt down all the time. I'm in nursing school so my mom has her while I'm at school 4 days a week and she drinks milk from a cup while I'm away. As soon as I get back she's desperate to latch on and will nurse and then want to just hang out on the boob for a bit every 1/2 hr or so. I wonder if I wear turtlenecks for a week if she'll forget about nursing:-) but I don't feel ready to stop, she's our last too, an with winter coming I want to give her the best immunity possible, but it is hard when she's a crazy boobie baby:-/ dh thinks I'm being selfish because he says it seems like I'm doing it for me more than her at this point. You know, since breastfeeding is such a selfish thing;-)
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:06 PM   #9
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I am a SAHM and my 13 month old is like this. He will wake multiple times a night. Most of my shirts are ruined from pulling. He pops on and off, which hurts after a while. And screams when I make him stop before he is ready. I feel like I am just walking boobs. But I feel guilty every time I think of weaning. He is my last sweet little baby.
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Old 12-18-2012, 06:20 PM   #10
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Re: I'm so tempted to wean

This is my 18m DS. He nurses all night and constantly pulls on me during the day. DH wants me to wean cold turkey but I just cant do that. I feel so drained sometimes a and just want space or love without him clawing at my boobs. I have started to set limits,I don't always follow them but its a start. I try to only let him nurse three times a day, morning, naptime, bedtime. Its hard because a lot of the time he refuses to eat and wants to nurse instead but I have to with hold so that he can learn to eat his food.
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