public restroom phobia and night training

[Branwen]

DS is 3 1/2 and has been going during the day at home on his own (on a little potty). He will go on the big potties at home with or without converter seat. He always sits!? But, he is phobic about public restrooms and will scream and melt down at the door. He will use the preschool restroom reluctantly...sometimes...usually when bribed only for me or my friend who sometimes takes him. He won't go for the teacher's aide either alone, with other kids or with my friend's dd who goes to school with him and have spent time in each others houses and used each others potties. He is melting down and "limp noodling" on the bathroom floor. YUCK! How do I help him get over this phobia? He will have an accident standing outside the public restroom door while crying and fighting me not to go inside (

Also, he has been dry 95% of the time in the morning for the past 3 months so I stopped diapers 2 days ago and both nights he had accidents even though night time routine was the same, no excessive drinking before bed and went potty before bed. Should I keep going a while and just wash the sheets (let him experience the wetness)? Use training pants? Go back to diapers?

Thanks,
Dawn

[Shimpie]

A lot of kids are public restroom phobic. I think it's the loud flushing. The toilets are taller. There are strangers in the vicinity. It's all intimidating. DD certainly won't use a public restroom. I can't get her close enough to a toilet to bother with a seat reducer. I carry a potty everywhere we go. She goes potty in the back of the station wagon or I bring the potty in with us to the public restroom.

DD is dry 5 out of 7 nights a week. Our routine doesn't vary that much, so I'm not sure why she wets the bed on some nights. I put her in training pants with a wool cover at night. However, she doesn't soak her underwear. I think diapers at night are fine.

[HappiMom]

My daughter is just starting to potty train and asked to go at daycare for the first time today. She is terrified of public restroom and has always been. I just bought a potty for the trunk of my car. There are little collapsable ones you can get and keep in your diaper bag. I will likely get one of those when she starts talking more about potty in public. My dd is only 23 months, though, so I haven't pushed the issue.

[cdeweese]

This probably sounds mean, but whatever my DD expresses fear to we make it a normal part of everyday life for her. So when she was afraid of the public restroom I made her go into one EVERYWHERE we went. I kept a toilet in my car (she normally won't go unless we are home) with paper towels in the bottom and she would try before we went into a store, etc. Then we walked into the store and she went with me into the public restroom. We went into the stall flushed the toilet, washed and dried our hands and got our potty treat (an M&M). Within two weeks she was over it. She now asks to go to the bathroom no matter where we are. I think once she realized we were going in whether she liked it or not the fit seemed less important.

Also, when my daughter doesn't want to go to bed she tells us she's scared of her bed. Nice try