Chat Thread ~ Nov 18th-24th

[KelseyH]

Originally Posted by momneedssupport Im in an unequally yoked marriage too. I just do what can and be an example. Pray, pray, pray.

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange Kelsey, I am sorry.. I have no answers, but I will pray. and please feel free to vent - this is a safe place where you can be heard and not judged.

Thanks, ladies. <3

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by dagmomma Got my new sneakers--woo-hoo paid more for them then I wanted to but oh well they will be used ALOT!!! Did not find a pregnancy pillow but I will order one when we get back from Thanksgiving. We may have a shorter vaca. Dh does several jobs and one of them he may have to work until wed--that means traveling on Wed and Thurs which I did not want to do at all and was thinking about staying here. But dh is insisting we go. We will find out tomoroow if he has to work those days or if we can leave Tues morning. I get a gender scan tomorrow. I can not wait. Not so much for the gender but I want to make sure everything is good and safe. Oh I also want a Starbucks and Panera Bread. LOL! That's my Dr appt meal.

Woohoo for not-stinky sneakers! Have you tried sprinkling baking soda in your shoes, say at nights? I've heard that can really help with stinky feet/shoes.

Sorry about the vaca/job/travelling - good luck figuring it all out.

for u/s!

Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt Well Friday I was sick again so I started back on my phenergan which makes me so tired. We did do lunch yesterday with friends, but I could barely eat, then back to my parents house for a nap. Then to my BFFs house to get my hair done! It turned out really cute, she calls the color 'Adele' it's a warm brown with blonde and darker redbrown pieces. I think I need to do a coconut oil mask today though. No plans today, might go into town, we need a few things at Target. Tomorrow is my last day of work for a week

I'm sorry you had a bad day again. Boo on that.
for awesome hair, though, and enjoy your week off!

Originally Posted by babyrosie We are having our anatomy scan sometime after the first of the year for insurance reasons so i will be about 26 weeks

Wow, that is a bit of a wait, eh? Of course, having all the christmas stuff in there will make a little bit, at least, fly by.

Originally Posted by kcannon I have an ultrasound Wednesday, but we're team green. On Black Friday DD, my dad, step-mom, and I are going to visit my sister who is hospitalized 5 hours away. My sister is 16 and has many emotional problems. It's hard to be away from her during this time because this week is the anniversary of the day our mother was killed.

for more u/s!
Have a good visit with your sister. I can't imagine having to deal with losing a parent that way.

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange and our big ultrasound is tomorrow too! has anyone had back labor before? Naturally?

more u/s!

I've had back labors with every one so far - don't expect anything different this time around either.
With my first, I labored for... 10 hours I think, and then got an epidural. But I didn't have any epidural or pain meds with DS1 or DS3 (DS2 was a csec). With DS1 I labored in the tub for 4 hours - it was wonderful. But I labored the whole time with DS3 in bed, laying/sitting, and it wasn't that bad, really.
What really helps me during contractions is for DH to push really hard on my lower back/hips.

Originally Posted by KelseyH So excited for all the mamas who are having their ultrasounds this week!! we get our blood test results on Tues. DH knows we are supposed to get results but I'm just going to pretend I don't get the email. I am forwarding it to my dad (without looking!! haha) who is going to call in the gender to a local cupcake company who is making pink- or blue-filled cupcakes for me and DH to eat and find out together. That should be Tuesday night if I get the results in time. This morning in church was really, really hard for me

I love that idea for the gender reveal for you guys! Very fun!

I'm sorry about all that marriage trouble. It is not an easy thing, without any extra crap thrown in, like p.o.r.n.

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange this doula says she knows ways to rotate the baby, but I'm not counting on it - I'm preparing for the worst again

I think sometimes it can be due to mom's habits during pregnancy, like the books say. But I also think other times, it's just the way baby likes to be in mom's pelvis.
With DD I didn't know anything about it, and didn't worry about how I sat or what I did. With DS1 I did everything "right", according to the books and the MWs - still had back labor and a OP baby. I was OP myself when I was born, and my mom and I have very similar body shapes/sizes. I do think that there's something with my hips/pelvic shape that means baby is more comfortable OP Doesn't mean I don't do hands and knees, and sit on my exercise ball - I just don't expect it to do much good that way.

Originally Posted by KelseyH I feel more like we are standing still. In the space of a few months, we went from (what I thought was) a good marriage, with daily time set aside to spend together over a devotional or conversation, regular intimacy, "dates" and time scheduled to spend together, affection throughout the day in one form or another, very few fights outside of his alcohol use, etc. to everything being absolutely icy cold, can't even get through a conversation, obviously uncomfortable together/around each other, hardly ANY sex (and he complains like he's the only one being "deprived"), and just hurt on top of hurt on top of hurt

I do think this is normal with any marriage. Every one has its ups-and-downs, some are more down (or more up) than others, unfortunately.
When things get hard like that it kinda feels like it changes from just loving each other to having to choose to love the other person, every day.
I'm sorry he's not wanting to listen to you or deal with things to move forward

[momneedssupport]

I was gonna say that marriage is like cross country road trips. Valleys and mountains. Is you can make it up the moutain, the valleys will be that much more beautiful on the other side. I syruggle too, but through the tough time and trust issues here, we are still committed to our marriage and wont give up. Bc god put us together for a reason, i know i am the key to dh finding his way back to Him.
Keep chuggin

[MrsCrafty]

I'm so sorry Kelsey. I'll be praying for your DH. Such a hard thing, addiction.

I have no experience with back labor, but am sort of glad to hear since I didn't have it last time I probably won't this time

I had a horrible morning with DSD. She comes home at 5am on Mondays after her mom's weekend, exhausted since she never is in bed at a decent time, and then I get to deal with trying to get her on the bus. This morning she locked herself in her bedroom because DS had a toy she wanted. DF is going to take her door off tonight. We ended up getting out to the bus in one piece but its so frustrating. I think we need to get her back Sunday night so she can be in bed at a regular time and sleep longer, but I'm not sure her Mom will agree.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt I'm so sorry Kelsey. I'll be praying for your DH. Such a hard thing, addiction. I have no experience with back labor, but am sort of glad to hear since I didn't have it last time I probably won't this time I had a horrible morning with DSD. She comes home at 5am on Mondays after her mom's weekend, exhausted since she never is in bed at a decent time, and then I get to deal with trying to get her on the bus. This morning she locked herself in her bedroom because DS had a toy she wanted. DF is going to take her door off tonight. We ended up getting out to the bus in one piece but its so frustrating. I think we need to get her back Sunday night so she can be in bed at a regular time and sleep longer, but I'm not sure her Mom will agree.

Do you need to take off the whole door? I might just remove the knob for privacy purposes, but I guess that depends on what the point of the punishment is

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by momneedssupport I was gonna say that marriage is like cross country road trips. Valleys and mountains. Is you can make it up the moutain, the valleys will be that much more beautiful on the other side. I syruggle too, but through the tough time and trust issues here, we are still committed to our marriage and wont give up. Bc god put us together for a reason, i know i am the key to dh finding his way back to Him. Keep chuggin

This is so true. Although as long as both partners are respectful of each others beliefs I personally don't see a problem with differing religious views. DH is generically Christian and I am more wavering between Atheist and Agnostic, and it works fine as long as we respect each other.

[MrsCrafty]

Originally Posted by mibarra Do you need to take off the whole door? I might just remove the knob for privacy purposes, but I guess that depends on what the point of the punishment is

They are old doors so I think it would be hard to take the lock off and the other warning she's gotten is for slamming her bedroom door which happens right before she locks it, so yes, the whole door needs to come off. The bathroom is right next to her room and she's just 6 y/o so she can go there to get changed. I totally support her being able to go in her room and shut the door to be alone when she's angry, but she cannot lock the door and refuse to come out when I tell her its time for school.

[MrsCrafty]

Well I just got bitter sweet news. DS had an audiology appointment this morning and he has lost more of his hearing. He tested the same in August but they found he had holes in his ear drums that required skin grafts and thought the test may not have been accurate, now that the grafts are healed he is still not hearing as well as he was. His hearing previously just wasn't bad enough for him to qualify for deaf/hoh services through school, even though its a degenerative condition and he wears a hearing aid, but now he will qualify. So good that he'll get help, but bad that he's lost more hearing.

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by momneedssupport I was gonna say that marriage is like cross country road trips. Valleys and mountains.

Yup, totally.
Unfortunately, though, I think a lot of people don't see it like that. They fall in love, get married, and expect that "honeymoon-we're-so-in-love" is actually reality and not just a phase. I mean, it's a great phase, but it doesn't, can't, last for always.
But people think it should, or that that's real, and so when the hard times come, when they wake up not "in love" anymore, they decide it's not right, not their soulmate, and leave. Instead of working through what is a normal thing, they just leave cuz they think it's "over".

I'm definitely NOT saying this is always the case when marriages break up. There are many situations and reasons for a marriage break-down, divorce, that I fully agree with and think are for the better.
But "we're not in love anymore" just ain't one of them!

Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt I have no experience with back labor, but am sort of glad to hear since I didn't have it last time I probably won't this time I had a horrible morning with DSD. She comes home at 5am on Mondays after her mom's weekend... I think we need to get her back Sunday night so she can be in bed at a regular time and sleep longer, but I'm not sure her Mom will agree.

Meh. Back labor honestly isn't so bad now that I'm used to it. I mean, I'd be overjoyed to have a "good" positioned baby and not have back labor... but I'm so used to it now, it's just how labor is for me, kwim?
Even with my hardest, strongest contractions, I barely have any feeling of anything in my front/abdomen. It's ALL in my back/hips. Anything I feel in the front is just the tightening, but no pain or discomfort.
Actually, that's not a bad thing for being VBAC - uterine rupture would (well, should) cause horrid abdominal pain. I would definitely notice that even amidst contractions, kwim?
And thinking about it - that's the major difference between my BH and labor contractions. BH for me are always in my abdomen - tightening and pain or discomfort. But real labor isn't - for me, I mean. Guess I better hope to have back labor again - I don't know that I'd recognize real labor contractions if I didn't feel them in my back!

Wow. I really hope her mom will listen to reason. I don't understand why she "needs" her overnight on Sunday anyways - all just to wake her up early to get her home? Surely they can't have that much extra quality time because of that overnight? If she brought her home Sunday evening, after supper, around bedtime - she wouldn't lose real "time" with her, kwim?
I haven't dealt with divorce myself, either in my marriage or my parents', but it seems like sometimes the parents use the child as a "pawn", a way to "get back" at the other parent or to have control over the situation. If she's really wanting the best for DD, she'd want her to have a good nights' sleep and have a good start to the day - I know for my kids a bad morning = a bad day at school.
Maybe a compromise (if you guys don't all ready do it) is that on a holiday weekend (either the Friday or the Monday), DD could go/stay at her mom's that extra night and part of the day?

Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt So good that he'll get help, but bad that he's lost more hearing.

I'm sorry mama. I mean, it's great that he'll now qualify for more help and whatnot. But it's terribly sad that he's losing his hearing.
I can't imagine having a deaf child - I mean, I wouldn't care for me, I wouldn't be embarrassed or be upset about needing to sign or any special needs... but it would be so sad to know that they don't hear and miss out on all the wonderful little sounds in life.

You said he has degenerative hearing loss? Is there anything like the cochlear implants or anything reconstructive that could do anything to regain some of his hearing?

AFM: Got in to town this morning (alone! holy cow!) for my bloodwork - swear, they took like 3 gallons Now the big draw is done, I'll only need to do the GD test and then my regular labwork to keep tabs on my platelets.

This is likely TMI - feel free to skip!
This morning I woke early (had to pee), then started to *ahem* wake DH We hadn't actually started things, but definitely wanted to. Suddenly Levi popped up in his crib (he's still in our room, until we make room elsewhere to move kids around) and said "Mom. My need get out." DH and I started giggling and Levi said "WHAT?!" - like he knew it was a joke he didn't get. Which just made it all the funnier.
Ah well, better luck next time!

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by mommy2wyatt Well I just got bitter sweet news. DS had an audiology appointment this morning and he has lost more of his hearing. He tested the same in August but they found he had holes in his ear drums that required skin grafts and thought the test may not have been accurate, now that the grafts are healed he is still not hearing as well as he was. His hearing previously just wasn't bad enough for him to qualify for deaf/hoh services through school, even though its a degenerative condition and he wears a hearing aid, but now he will qualify. So good that he'll get help, but bad that he's lost more hearing.

Glad he'll get services. Sorry about the increasing loss.... it's so hard. DD1 tested moderate to severe, took us almost a year to figure out she had auditory neuropathy. Ended up with cochlear implants and she's doing amazing. I hope it all works out for you!!!