I just found out my father passed away in 2009

[Rewind_Selector]

I just found out my father passed away in 2009.I have mixed feelings about this. I never met him but we had talked on the phone many years ago. I was a surprise to him(at 23 years old) when I called him and told him I thought he was my father. We never formed any type of relationship but he never denied I was his daughter. Him and my mother talked and I will never forget the night he called and told me he believed he was my father too. Now I am wondering what I should do. Do I call his wife? Do I call his son(my brother)? If I do what do I say? It has been a really long time and I was never a part of their life.
I only ever wanted 2 things from him. One was just for him to know I exist and the other was to see what he looks like. I never got the latter. Any advice?

[erin_c_odonnell]

I would call the wife, explain and ask for a picture for sentimental reasons (to pass along to grandkids etc).

[erin_c_odonnell]

Dp

[RainandRedemption]

Im sorry. I don't know my bio dad either and similar sorts of thoughts have crossed my mind. Seems like contacting them for a picture of your dad wouldnt be too much to ask.

[Kimmyann]

Call or write his family. Explain that you just found out that he passed away and would like a photo. Is it possible they don't even know about you?

[Rewind_Selector]

Originally Posted by Kimmyann Call or write his family. Explain that you just found out that he passed away and would like a photo. Is it possible they don't even know about you?

They know about me. I had even talked to his wife a couple of times back when we were in contact. I never spoke to my brother of grandmother but he did tell me that he had told them.

[Terra]

I'd try contact one more time and see how it goes. I'm so sorry.

[Van1300]

I'd call and ask. I never knew my paternal grandfather, in fact we found out he died from his name being in the paper (he divorced my grandmother when my dad was 10 and then he remarried and never spoke to my dad again. Then my grandma died before I was born). My dad has a few pictures from his childhood but we are both interested in my dad's dads' military career so I was thinking about researching it. I tried to reach out to the 2nd wife, but she is really old now and lives in a nursing home.

I hope you get what you are looking for and I'm sorry you found out about his passing so many years later...

[squiddles]

Originally Posted by erin_c_odonnell I would call the wife, explain and ask for a picture for sentimental reasons (to pass along to grandkids etc).

This.

[Rewind_Selector]

Well I called her. My heart was pounding. We ended up having a nice chat. She remembered some of what happened but since we weren't in contact for long and it was quite some time ago I had to refresh her memory. She said the same thing last night she said all those years ago. That she wasn't upset because it(me) happened before they were together. She said she would send me out a picture this week. I can't wait to get his picture. I have been waiting so long to see what he looks like. I told her I would send pictures of his grandkids back to her if she as ok with that.