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Old 11-22-2012, 07:16 PM   #1
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Coach-abilty

Do you think coach-ability can be learned or taught? Our DD seems entirely un-coach-able. She is passionate about some things (horses, swimming), but only to the extent to get what she wants. She has always struggled with listening skills and as she ages, this is turning into un-coach-ability in coachable activities. DH and I have discussed how and if we can help her with this trait, and DH (who is a coach) feels you cannot really teach coach-ability.

Well, tonight, for the first time, she failed a swimming level. It doesn't matter to her that she has always been consistently 3-4 years younger than every kid in her class. It doesn't matter that I have explained to her that she will max out (due to age requirements) at a certain point and would just have to swim for the club or the team for a few years. What matters, surprisingly to this "un-coach-able" kid is that she didn't get the level. I feel mean because I feel this is a golden opportunity. Perhaps a little heartbreak will make her try harder, be more precise and attempt to be more coachable next time around.

So, is coach-ability inborn or can we learn it?

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Old 11-22-2012, 07:35 PM   #2
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How old is she?
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Old 11-22-2012, 07:36 PM   #3
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Well, I cannot see your siggy. I would say before eight years old yes but after that probably not. And, I have coached.
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Old 11-22-2012, 07:43 PM   #4
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Re: Coach-abilty

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Originally Posted by proudsahmof4 View Post
How old is she?
She's nine.
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:39 PM   #5
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Re: Coach-abilty

So, I have been shunned as the Tiger Mom for even asking this?
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:47 PM   #6
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I have a son that is the same way. No amount of pushing makes him work any harder. He isn't super competitive. It's tough for my dh also a coach and for me who have always been competitive and worked super hard. Is this what you are asking? My ds is also a swimmer
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:47 PM   #7
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Oh and he is 10
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Old 11-23-2012, 02:43 PM   #8
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My almost 6 year old is like this. Her way is always "right" which is really hard at violin lessons sometimes because it is precise and she doesn't see the importance of good hand position. If it isn't a priority, she won't change.

I think some is developed, but some is personality and inborn.
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Old 11-23-2012, 03:51 PM   #9
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Re: Coach-abilty

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
My almost 6 year old is like this. Her way is always "right" which is really hard at violin lessons sometimes because it is precise and she doesn't see the importance of good hand position. If it isn't a priority, she won't change.

I think some is developed, but some is personality and inborn.
this is me. I think it's just personality.

I am extremely competitive and all that, but I also have difficulty focusing on things I don't prioritize and no amount of pushing me changes that. Mostly referring to how I was growing up when I was in band, etc. I was passionate about it - I loved it - but I was only so-coachable and then I wasn't.

I always said that I was a 'jack of all trades, master of none'. I was more interested in being good at lots of things than really great at one thing.
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Old 11-23-2012, 05:15 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange

this is me. I think it's just personality.

I am extremely competitive and all that, but I also have difficulty focusing on things I don't prioritize and no amount of pushing me changes that. Mostly referring to how I was growing up when I was in band, etc. I was passionate about it - I loved it - but I was only so-coachable and then I wasn't.

I always said that I was a 'jack of all trades, master of none'. I was more interested in being good at lots of things than really great at one thing.
I am extremely competitive, aggressive in sports, "second place is the first loser" type personality, but the total opposite of you! Haha. I was like a sponge when I was a kid. Whatever I had to do to improve, I would do it 10x over. As long as I was the best, it didn't matter. When I was in HS, I lifted twice a day and ran 10 miles a day except for the day before game day (so usually 5-6x per week). And I was the strongest, fastest, and best at what I did - for the couple things I chose to be passionate about (like run a 5k in less than 19 minutes ).

But for the things I didn't *want* to invest in, I didn't excel. I couldn't be coached. I didn't care that my mother paid a ridiculous amount for weekly lessons from a university music teacher with a PhD in piano/music something or other. I didn't like the piano.

I think it's personality. If a kid really enjoys something, they will listen to someone who wants to help them improve (at least IME).
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