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Old 11-23-2012, 10:19 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Sarah-B

SIL just gave up she tried for a day and said well I want my husband to be able to feed the baby too do I can keep sleeping. That to me is ignorant. We are all entitled you are own opinions. That doesn't mean we should pass judgment or be rude to anyone (I would never be rude to anyone who chooses to formula) but it also means that when you see a mama that doesn't even give it a valid try it sort of makes you mad inside a little bit. And I think here DS is a safe place to vent.
I agree that seeing someone not try could cause someone to be angry. I don't personally have those feelings because I am not personally attached to how other women feed their babies.

And I would disagree that DS is a "safe" place to call another woman ignorant for her parenting choices. Unless this is something DS agrees with.

ETA: and I think there is a difference between venting by saying how something makes you feel (safe to do on DS and appropriate) and name-calling and condemning another person for their parenting choices.

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Old 11-23-2012, 10:26 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon

I agree that seeing someone not try could cause someone to be angry. I don't personally have those feelings because I am not personally attached to how other women feed their babies.

And I would disagree that DS is a "safe" place to call another woman ignorant for her parenting choices. Unless this is something DS agrees with.

ETA: and I think there is a difference between venting by saying how something makes you feel (safe to do on DS and appropriate) and name-calling and condemning another person for their parenting choices.
But I digress - this discussion is derailing from the OP's post and is totally my fault for interrupting to take issue with her comment. I'll let you get back to the topic of the OP.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:32 AM   #13
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Re: BF'ing 1 and EP'ing for a 2nd?

OP, your offer is wonderful. I have donated a lot, but like everyone else, my life is too hectic a lot of the time to pump at every feeding while also nursing and caring for my children. This is not an easy road you're going down if you don't have to to feed your baby.

Has your SIL gotten good quality help from an IBCLC? That her doctor said her milk doesn't have enough calories is a huge red flag for bad breastfeeding information. That's not what people who know breastfeeding would say.
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Old 11-23-2012, 11:39 AM   #14
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OP, your offer is wonderful. I have donated a lot, but like everyone else, my life is too hectic a lot of the time to pump at every feeding while also nursing and caring for my children. This is not an easy road you're going down if you don't have to to feed your baby.

Has your SIL gotten good quality help from an IBCLC? That her doctor said her milk doesn't have enough calories is a huge red flag for bad breastfeeding information. That's not what people who know breastfeeding would say.
I agree with this. An IBCLC would be able to help her identify if there is a tongue tie or hypoplastic breast tissue or other issue limiting her supply. In the meantime you've gotten some great advice for pumping for her. I think it's wonderful that you're offering that to her in the meantime while she sorts things out. :-)

I had oversupply with both babies and with my dd I pumped and donated to a friend's baby for his first year. I wasn't able to pump enough for him to be EP, so they supplemented with formula, but the mama said she was thankful for any amount of BM, and I'm sure your SIL will be too. :-)
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Old 11-23-2012, 12:26 PM   #15
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Re: BF'ing 1 and EP'ing for a 2nd?

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
OP, your offer is wonderful. I have donated a lot, but like everyone else, my life is too hectic a lot of the time to pump at every feeding while also nursing and caring for my children. This is not an easy road you're going down if you don't have to to feed your baby.

Has your SIL gotten good quality help from an IBCLC? That her doctor said her milk doesn't have enough calories is a huge red flag for bad breastfeeding information. That's not what people who know breastfeeding would say.
This is definitely true! I was thinking the same thing, but had to get up and couldn't add it to my response. I would definitely have her seek other advice or even see another ped about the weight gain. My children were all very slow gainers (till this number 6 baby). Some peds really gave me a hard time about it and others didn't. Of course, my babies really were fine and some really aren't. But some peds can't look outside the box and start blaming mom's milk and recommending formula when nothing is really even wrong simply because they don't understand BF'ing well enough. I would encourage her to seek out an LC and gently encourage her to find a new ped who is very pro-BF'ing. (Ask the LC for a recommendation on a good ped who strongly supports BF'ing and isn't quick to jump to formula.)
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:57 PM   #16
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You are so great for doing this!

Can uou also get her to EP? Maybe if she just focuses on pumping for a few weeks, she can get her supply up and you guys can share the job!
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Old 11-23-2012, 04:49 PM   #17
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Re: BF'ing 1 and EP'ing for a 2nd?

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Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon View Post
It sounds ignorant to you, maybe. But you don't know her reasons. All women have reasons for making the choices that they do. You have no way of knowing this woman's history or her breastfeeding issues, and to lay out a blanks statement like that makes you sound like the ignorant one.

FTR; I Nursed my DS for 30 months until my milk dried up during my second pregnancy, and my dd for 15 months when we weaned bc she had an allergic reaction to the medication I was taking. So my opinion isn't based on being defensive about my own decisions, but on being tired of how BF women talk about women who choose to FF.
I wasn't trying to talk down the SIL because she chose Formula. I FF my older 2 kids because I was an Uneducated about BF'ing Teen Mom. My whole Family FF so I never thought to breastfeed them. I said she sounded ignorant because of the fact that she wasn't willing to consider help from someone. What was it gonna cost her to be atleast grateful and say No nicely? Sorry if I offended anyone.

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Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
OP, your offer is wonderful. I have donated a lot, but like everyone else, my life is too hectic a lot of the time to pump at every feeding while also nursing and caring for my children. This is not an easy road you're going down if you don't have to to feed your baby.

Has your SIL gotten good quality help from an IBCLC? That her doctor said her milk doesn't have enough calories is a huge red flag for bad breastfeeding information. That's not what people who know breastfeeding would say.
I told her about meeting with an LC and she made an Appointment with one for Monday. Her sons Pedi was the one who told her this. They "diagnosed" him at 4 days old for losing 4 oz while she was having bleeding at every feeding. Honestly I think they just didn't want to "waste" their time educated her on what to do and how to handle the whole nipple situation.

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You are so great for doing this!

Can uou also get her to EP? Maybe if she just focuses on pumping for a few weeks, she can get her supply up and you guys can share the job!
She started pumping again yesterday while giving him my milk, so hopefully she will start producing more milk. I told her to try and stick to the babys feeding schedule to pump. She is also trying to latch him on but its still causing her pain. I think he may be latching wrong or may have a tongue tie.
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Old 11-23-2012, 06:04 PM   #18
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Re: BF'ing 1 and EP'ing for a 2nd?

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I told her about meeting with an LC and she made an Appointment with one for Monday. Her sons Pedi was the one who told her this. They "diagnosed" him at 4 days old for losing 4 oz while she was having bleeding at every feeding. Honestly I think they just didn't want to "waste" their time educated her on what to do and how to handle the whole nipple situation.



She started pumping again yesterday while giving him my milk, so hopefully she will start producing more milk. I told her to try and stick to the babys feeding schedule to pump. She is also trying to latch him on but its still causing her pain. I think he may be latching wrong or may have a tongue tie.
They diagnosed this problem at 4 days old? Most mothers don't even have mature milk at 4 days postpartum, and a baby's stomach is the size of a shooter marble at that stage. She has gotten very poor advice.

There is still plenty of hope that she will be able to EBF her own baby with some good quality help--emphasize that to her! If the first LC is not helpful, she should find another. LLL can help, too--leaders are always willing to help over the phone, and some will visit mothers at home.

Here is the IBCLC directory to help her find more qualified, certified LCs if she needs further help: http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3337
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Old 11-23-2012, 06:12 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake

They diagnosed this problem at 4 days old? Most mothers don't even have mature milk at 4 days postpartum, and a baby's stomach is the size of a shooter marble at that stage. She has gotten very poor advice.

There is still plenty of hope that she will be able to EBF her own baby with some good quality help--emphasize that to her! If the first LC is not helpful, she should find another. LLL can help, too--leaders are always willing to help over the phone, and some will visit mothers at home.

Here is the IBCLC directory to help her find more qualified, certified LCs if she needs further help: http://www.ilca.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3337
Yes thank you. I told her exactly what you have said. I will definitely give her this information. At 4 days old they told me my daughter wasnt gaining fast enough. I told them I'd come back for another weight check every week after that if I had to but I wasnt giving up. She wants to nurse so bad and is still willing to keep trying, especially now that her nipples are starting to heal.
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Old 11-23-2012, 06:28 PM   #20
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Re: BF'ing 1 and EP'ing for a 2nd?

My sister and I did this for my DD when she was born. My sister always has an oversupply, so when my DD was 2 wks old and I got a HORRIBLE case of mastitus and the drs. recommended that I quit nursing for my own health, she started pumping for me. My niece and DD are 13 days apart in age.

She didn't quite make enough for me to use only EP for DD, but I was able to reduce the amount of formula that I did have to buy by over half. It was great!!!
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