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Old 11-25-2012, 03:09 PM   #41
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

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We don't do Santa either. DD knows about Santa the character because it is unavoidable, but we tell her he's a pretend character or game people like to play. We will continue explaining this year that some kids believe Santa is a real person and we don't spoil their surprise. I was raised with this idea myself.

We are Christian and while we do some 'secular' traditions like the tree and stocking, not playing into the Santa thing is more than just that for me.

I hope I don't get flamed for saying this- so those who disagree just know this is my own perspective.... I feel that it isn't fair to take advantages of a child's youth, imagination, trust, and blind faith in their parents to take advantage and essentially lie about big things like the Santa fantasy. I want my children to know that I would never mislead them, lie to them, or hurt them - especially over a game. Some kids are seriously upset when they learn Santa isn't real. I feel it can create a sense of distrust in adults- 'what else have you told me that isn't true'.

I work in the infant mental health field and decided long before I had children that I would be very careful in not abusing my child's innocent faith in me. Of course my daughter lives in a world of fantasy of her own with pretend play and as she tries to figure out how things work ... And I'm definitely not talking her out of that or spoiling her own fantasies and imagination or expecting her to get a hard dose of reality about everything. What I don't do is make up stories and convince her they are true or use them to my advantage.
I totally hear you. We do Santa, but not in a super mainstream way - we don't go overboard, do store-bought plastic crap, etc. Our kids are 6 and 3, and our oldest questions everything, so we follow his lead. He is getting to the point where he understands the differences between "pretend" and "real" and will form his own concrete reality soon enough... But, it is entirely possible to celebrate the idea of something, the tradition of something, or a fairy tale, without lying or taking advantage of them... You just have to be really careful about it! There is no "Santa is watching!" in our house. But, children must have a healthy imagination, and just like we celebrated the birthday of an imaginary friend recently (complete with balloons, cake, and family guests) we do Santa.

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:24 PM   #42
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

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I don't know why you would assume I plan to be disrespectful? I don't want him to ruin Santa for his cousins and I'll coach him that some children believe Santa is real and we shouldn't ruin it for them.

And believe me, being respectful with my in-laws does not beget respect.
Sorry, I must have misread your post. I was on my phone and didn't realize you were typing that they would think he would ruin Santa for their kids. I know, not all of my family is respectful with things we do, but I still will show respect regardless.

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I totally hear you. We do Santa, but not in a super mainstream way - we don't go overboard, do store-bought plastic crap, etc. Our kids are 6 and 3, and our oldest questions everything, so we follow his lead. He is getting to the point where he understands the differences between "pretend" and "real" and will form his own concrete reality soon enough... But, it is entirely possible to celebrate the idea of something, the tradition of something, or a fairy tale, without lying or taking advantage of them... You just have to be really careful about it! There is no "Santa is watching!" in our house. But, children must have a healthy imagination, and just like we celebrated the birthday of an imaginary friend recently (complete with balloons, cake, and family guests) we do Santa.
Agreed, especially the bolded.
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Old 11-25-2012, 03:55 PM   #43
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

We don't do Santa. I've just never had a want to do it. My kids know about Santa, and they enjoy books and movies with him in it. They know he is a figure of Christmas and that some families believe in him and some do not. We don't do Santa presents of any kind.
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:03 PM   #44
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

We do and don't.... We didn't really over worry about things the first few years with our oldest we did santa as a fun thing but she simpily wasn't old enough for the whole Santa experience it was just pockets of pretend for her.. Once she was a little older we started teaching about who the real St Nicholas was and the spirit of "Santa clause" and santa at Christmas was a "real or pretend as she seemed to want it.. We neither went all out nor dismissed the fantasy.. Around the past few years though she has had a full understanding. She understands that Santa exists only in the spirit of ones willing to make it happen. She knows North Pole santa as simpily Fun and pretend and the history behind St Nicholas.. etc... We stil do "SANTA" in the fun and spirit of it and she still does not know who her santa is each year because it changes. She is old enough to be a SANTA to another and enjoys it.
For the 2 year old we still play but its jsut in small little moments she too will be taught the "truth" but we hope also in ways that still foster a love for the spirit of santa and not some dream crusher.
I grew up with a santa belief probably for years older than my kids I cherish the memories and finding the truth never felt like some lie but the magic did kinda fade I hope by allowing them to countinue in "being " santa that magic can live a little longer.
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Old 11-25-2012, 05:59 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by ajane

This made me laugh out loud. Santa is a real person, btw. We don't make up stories, convince our kids they are true or use them to our advantage. Children's sense of imagination is actually normal.
You kind of missed my point.

I am fully aware and respectful of a child's sense of imagination. Santa- in the red suit, riding through the air in a sleigh pulled by magical reindeer, coming down chimneys to bring gifts to every child in the world on Christmas Eve- is NOT real. Not convincing my child that this is true because it is a popular story is not necessary for my family to enjoy Christmas and the holiday spirit.

And I'm also not saying all parents are taking advantage of Santa to manipulate their kids- but some do and I think it's kind of mean.
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Old 11-25-2012, 06:18 PM   #46
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I don't want to do Santa anymore. I hate the sneaking around and I want our kids to know that the gifts come from their loving parents not some imaginary guy who is watching them to see if they are good.

That said I tried to gently spill the beans to my 8 yo and she plugged her ears and sang lol
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Old 11-25-2012, 06:24 PM   #47
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I don't do Santa.

Who knows how many partners he's had? A guy like him probably gets around...

(Bahaha...)
Okay maybe not funny, but I couldn't NOT say it.
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Old 11-25-2012, 06:32 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon
I don't do Santa.

Who knows how many partners he's had? A guy like him probably gets around...

(Bahaha...)
Okay maybe not funny, but I couldn't NOT say it.
LOL ilu.
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:19 PM   #49
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

I am dreading my family's reaction when I tell them we're not going in for Santa (or Father Christmas as we call him). My parents went to enormous lengths when we were little - sleigh marks in ash on the doorstep, a letter thanking us for the mince pies and sherry that my dad wrote with his left hand so we wouldn't recognise the writing - and I was absolutely devastated when I found out about 7. And it was totally to do with the trust issue. I felt like a fool.

I really like the idea about Father Christmas being a pretend game that we can all get behind in the spirit of merriment, and that we mustn't spoil the fun for other people. We'll still give her presents "from Father Christmas", as we do each other as well ("love, FC") but I cannot look my kid in the face and tell her he's real.
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:54 PM   #50
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Re: Anyone not do santa?

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Originally Posted by BeccaSueCongdon View Post
I don't do Santa.

Who knows how many partners he's had? A guy like him probably gets around...

(Bahaha...)
Okay maybe not funny, but I couldn't NOT say it.
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