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Old 12-09-2012, 01:21 PM   #41
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

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Hugs mama. I would look into therapy and such right away.

Whenever I see lists for symptoms of attachment disorder I worry about my oldest DD. she fits everything there except she is willing to play independently. Is it possible for a bio child who has been raised by mom and dad since birth to have some degree of attachment disorder issues???
What was your daughter's temperament as a baby? In particular did she have colic?

My four year old's OT has just asked me if I ever considered her possibly having an attachment issue. We have had her since release from the hospital at two days old. But, she screamed for almost a year. Her nervous system is still disorganized and she sees the OT for SPD. Anyway, I think no matter that we tried the best we could, it was impossible to meet her needs. So she did not have the typical "the world is safe and someone will comfort me" scenario that most babies build a secure attachment on. I don't know if she does indeed still have some attachment issues or not now, but I am going to look into finding someone to evaluate that. Who knows how I find a therapist experienced in attachment issues?

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Old 12-09-2012, 03:21 PM   #42
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

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What was your daughter's temperament as a baby? In particular did she have colic?

My four year old's OT has just asked me if I ever considered her possibly having an attachment issue. We have had her since release from the hospital at two days old. But, she screamed for almost a year. Her nervous system is still disorganized and she sees the OT for SPD. Anyway, I think no matter that we tried the best we could, it was impossible to meet her needs. So she did not have the typical "the world is safe and someone will comfort me" scenario that most babies build a secure attachment on. I don't know if she does indeed still have some attachment issues or not now, but I am going to look into finding someone to evaluate that. Who knows how I find a therapist experienced in attachment issues?
She was a very challenging baby and I had PPD on top of it. It was a rough go. I struggled to feel bonded to her for a while, but wouldn't admit it to anyone. Now I struggle with her because she's just a really difficult child to parent. She also went the first bit of her life with undiagnosed Celiac disease. When she has gluten in gives her gut and neurological problems, so we were battling against food reactions that we didn't know were food reactions at the time since they didn't present themselves like an allergy would.

I often want to take her somewhere to work on a diagnosis or try to see if there's something more going on, but my DH is not really on board with it (even though he struggles to parent her as well) and I'm not even sure where I would start.
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:11 PM   #43
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

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I don't think return home is likely...but if it happened...what would that do to a child with insecure attachment/rad???
It probably is different for each situation. If a kid had a decent attachment to a bio-parent, and then got RAD from years of being shuffled from one foster home to another, then it might help to be reunified. If they got RAD from being neglected and abused by their bio-parent, reunification wouldn't help anything.


To the person asking how to find an attachment therapist:
1. Ask foster/adoptive parents and agencies for recommendations.
2. Check out the resources on this page.
http://www.abcofohio.net/resources.htm
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Old 12-14-2012, 05:38 AM   #44
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So I haven't posted in a long time but wondering what you ladies think of this. They are instituting a new procedure in my county which will require the FP to bring the foster children to most court hearings (the every 6 mo permanency reviews, dispo, etc). The thought is that the attorneys and judge will see the child as a real child and not a name on a paper which could potentially cause them to take quicker action for permanency, but there are many issues about having children in court that have not been addressed. What about kids who have no contact with the bios? What about if the bios are incarcerated and come in wearing a jumpsuit and ankle irons/handcuffs? What about kids that were horribly abused by their bios? I just think there are a lot of emotional issues for the children than this new practice could raise. What do you all think?

I'm taking my 22 month old foster daughter to her court hearing this morning - it feels awkward. It's a long term placement but she does have visits with bio mom so it will not scar her emotionally, but I'm really just thinking of other situations where this new procedure might not be beneficial.....
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:09 AM   #45
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

For RAD---A friend's sister-in-law has it. She's in her twenties now. They had a perfectly normal childhood raised by their bio parents with 3 kids. 2 are fine, and one has RAD. So, even if you did everything "right" it can happen. It is rare, but it does happen. Just wanted to offer some encouragement to you!
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:10 AM   #46
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

For the court---our county does visits IN THE JAIL. So if parents are incarcerated, the kid has seen him/her behind bars. I do wish the judges saw who they were ruling on sometimes. My son has special medical/behavioral needs and I feel like if the judge had seen him with his NG tube, he wouldn't have been so quick to order so many services to parents who were non-compliant with their case plans.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:19 AM   #47
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That's tough. I can see benefits and drawbacks to however its done. Too bad it can't be separate hearings or times where the judge meets the child not with the parent present. That's probably too much to ask of an over burdened system though.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:36 PM   #48
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

I was just talking about that issue with my mom. We were just had a court hearing and the baby was never mentioned throughout the whole thing. It was only the parents. I was pretty disgusted. I don't think I like the kids going either, but a happy medium might be a big picture up in front of everyone of the child. Keeps their focus on this is actually a little person here without exposing kids to the mess and waiting of court.
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:04 PM   #49
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Someone else suggested a very brief meeting with the fp and kids privately right before the hearing. Seems like it would work but like finding mercy said its just one more thing. Scheduling is already a nightmare I'm sure.
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:19 PM   #50
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Re: DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

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I was just talking about that issue with my mom. We were just had a court hearing and the baby was never mentioned throughout the whole thing. It was only the parents. I was pretty disgusted. I don't think I like the kids going either, but a happy medium might be a big picture up in front of everyone of the child. Keeps their focus on this is actually a little person here without exposing kids to the mess and waiting of court.
I like this! I was actually thinking of bringing a picture to court for the judge...what do you guys think???
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