DECEMBER 2012 CHAT THREAD

[FindingMercy]

Abraham is 6 months old today!! We still can't get dad to show up to sign, but he is considered legally abandoned at this point. We are serving him one last time and if he still does nothing we will publish and terminate rights. We will finalize in jan if he signs, feb if he doesn't.

Abraham still isn't growing as much as his dr would like, so we're trying some different things to try to get weight on him. I think they are going to do a scope next month though unless he starts packing it on.



Attachment 127912

[mmbreb]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy Abraham is 6 months old today!! We still can't get dad to show up to sign, but he is considered legally abandoned at this point. We are serving him one last time and if he still does nothing we will publish and terminate rights. We will finalize in jan if he signs, feb if he doesn't. Abraham still isn't growing as much as his dr would like, so we're trying some different things to try to get weight on him. I think they are going to do a scope next month though unless he starts packing it on. Attachment 127912

What an adorable boy


AFM: Many of you probably know I was desperately trying to get an inquiry in on a little boy in Oregon. Turns out his listing was removed days before our home study was approved. Its just frustrating. I knew it was a long shot even if we got it in but we just really wanted to be able to at least inquire. But we are just trying to decide how best to move forward and what agency to stay with.

[WynneBabies]

Mmbreb, it's a frustrating process, but the right one will happen. At least that's what I keep telling myself! We started this process 2 1/2 years ago and I still have no answers.

Findingmercy, awwww, hope he starts gaining more. At least you'll be able to finalize soon.

I, CW could just be generalizing too because they are multiples. Sometimes people assume multiples will be early and have special needs, but a lot are born full term. At least my current CW is very medically clueless. I've had to explain a bunch of basic things to her and she has young kids of her own even... Sounds like she's preparing you for worst case scenario (was dfs early or unhealthy?). But then again she could know info she's not sharing with you. If you talk to her again, I'd ask if there's any specific reason she's expecting the babies to come so early or is it just her own speculation because they are twins?

[FindingMercy]

http://my--fascinating--life.blogspo...12/babies.html

This blog post was good. Thought some of you may enjoy as a way to think about attachment issues as they arise even years after a child comes home.

[newmommy13]

Thank you for sharing! I love the authors outlook and how the attachment issues with blue seem to be just a part of their lives like she said teaching them abcs.

Here is the gift j and I made for his mom. You can't really tell by the pic but its his thumb print.


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And here is one I made of mine and dhs thumb prints. You can see the detail a little bit better here.


ForumRunner_20121222_094317.jpg

[WynneBabies]

That was definitely an understanding on a deeper level. It's why our county doesn't allow foster parents to use daycare with little ones. It's why my training worker practically had tears in her eyes when I told her I chose to skip an out of state trip rather than put our current placement in respite care. There's so much that can't be controlled in fostering but I hope I can help give one constant.

The baby thing in general was interesting. I could relate to it a lot except mine is with baby girls in particular.

[WynneBabies]

Super cute, I! I had some moments where I thought of giving current placement's mom something but she infuriates me (and everyone else) so much... If it had been the parents of any of my other placements, I would have. Last year I gave a bmom a really nice photo album with lots of pics of the baby including some in a particular outfit she wanted photos of, professional newborn shots and some with Santa. I could tell she liked it a lot. Another baby I had left a few weeks before Mother's Day and otherwise we would have done something nice for that mom too. This mom is something else...

[newmommy13]

J got a card and letter from his dad on his birthday and i got one of his 1 year pics for him and i was going to send it in a christmas card but then i found out just what happened between him and bm while she was pg with dfs and i just can't get over it. i have all kinds of nasty things to say but i'll just say i'm working on my bad attitude lol!

we have had a kind of breakthrough here...dfs is a major screamer especially in the car and its really bad. anyway now i know he loves the music blasting and he knows i won't turn it on until he stops screaming and says music please. well...it kind of sounds like music please lol! so now if he starts screaming i remind him that i will turn it off if he screams and if he still screams i turn it off until he is quiet. and i've been talking about how it hurts his throat, i'm sure it does because he coughs and gags periodically when he's doing it. so thats a cool thing thing that we did this week. seems like things are getting better all the time. he also sat through the entire church service today and just chewed on his inhaler chamber, he didn't make a peep! except for when he attempted to sing along! so adorable! i think he's just a tough nut to crack.

hope everyone's holiday celebrations are going well!!!

[mmbreb]

Newmommy13: So glad you are finding great things that work for your LO. I don't know that I would have even thought to try that

I am kind of freaking out about getting our first foster kid tomorrow. I know its only four days but it feels so far out of my comfort zone. I can't decide if we should try to keep busy to make the time go by faster or try to stay home and keep things low key. I am afraid if we are not doing something he will be more likely to get bored and lonely.

Maybe I am just projecting my DS personality. He does better with caregivers who keep him going rather than just sitting around when he thinks more about missing mom.....

[newmommy13]

Why not keep busy at home? Going to a bunch of unfamiliar places places might be overwhelming but offering a variety activities and a loose schedule might be comforting. Just play it by ear. He might just freak out and want to be left alone, thats ok too, kwim? I think thats how I would feel. Be warm but not suffocating and I'm sure you will be fine.